Because I left you all hanging for so long yesterday, my belly pics are up already. ;) I feel huge with my shirt up… but then with my shirt down it’s such a small bump still. lol

Oh my gosh, that was an unfortunate situation.

First – I’ve been STARVING all day. Like, 0 to starving in 10 seconds. MUST EAT SOMETHING. RIGHT FREAKIN NOW. This morning, stuck at work with limited options, I ate two little bags of chips. They tasted so good… and then I threw it up.

So this evening, again… starving. STARVING. Ate cheese sandwich. Still starving. Ate a bowl of cereal. Relief.

And then an hour later my stomach started turning. Den was talking to me and I interrupted him mid-sentence to jump out of bed and go running into the bathroom. It was one of those bad stomach gurgles where you’re not really sure which end is upset. So I sat and peed. And then I started gagging, so I jumped up, spun around, and puked into the toilet. And that’s when it happened…. some of the pee water splashed up onto my face! Right by my eye. And then I puked and puked some more (and I reached up to flush the toilet as I puked, to avoid another pee-water incident).

So yeah. After that my face got washed, my teeth got brushed and I immediately took all my pills including my Unisom. Yeah, I don’t think I took my pills yesterday. Bad effing idea. One of these days I’ll learn…

Just wanted to share my embarassing story of the day with you all. Now I’m going to try to sleep and hope little Devin doesn’t keep me up with his kicking. (Which Den has not yet felt, even though I know I can feel it in my hand. Problem is, every time Den puts his hand on my belly there’s no kicks… it usually takes me about 10-15 minutes of sitting here with my hand on my belly – after he’s kicked me a few times, so I know he’s awake – before I feel something again. But Den can’t hold his hand there that long, he has a bad shoulder. Hopefully soon…)

We just got a phone call from Den’s neices. They’re 7 years old, identical twins. I guess they hadn’t been told about our pregnancy yet (and I never mentioned it to them when I saw them, because they never brought it up – and it was early, the last time we saw them). So yeah, we had two girls screaming, “CONGRATULATIONS!!!” into the phone and telling us we should name the kid “Tom Brady”. :lmao: They seem really excited though! That’s so cool. :) These are our future babysitters. ;)

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Yeah, so I’m trying to let it all sink in and I’m getting a little panicked on some things. HA!! It’s funny, most people have that moment of panic when they find out they are pregnant (or some point shortly after)… no… I’ve been completely blissful up until this point.

Sorry to keep you all waiting! My appointment was at 3, we didn’t get called back until 3:30, and then traffic SUCKED getting home. But I am home now! And I have ultrasound photos!

Our kiddo was NOT at all shy…

I think we both teared up when she said boy. I just knew from the start…. so it looks like mother’s intuition was right in this case! His name is/will be Devin Alin!

His sweet little face

Proof it really IS an alien in my belly ;)

Baby’s first footprint :D

And the money shot! It’s a BOY, baby! And it was like every time she tried getting a photo of his spine… PENIS…. PENIS…. oh there it is again! LOL!!! Absolutely NO doubt about it, we have a little boy.

After the fact I started feeling sad that I won’t get to paint the walls pink and go all girly-girly – but I think I would have had that reaction if it was a girl! But I certainly can’t say that I’m disappointed, I got SO giddy when I learned it was a boy. Little boys are awesome!

I’m going to be a mommy to a BOY! Holy shit!

::

Okay, added later, a full recount of the day:

I finished up at work earlier than expected, and I was starving. When I had arrived at work I was starved and ate two small bags of chips (Lays) and shortly threw them all up. So I went to Dunkin Donuts before my appointment and ordered a bagel with strawberry creamcheese. I figured on eating half of it – my usual – and bringing the rest with me. Instead I ended up wolfing down the entire thing. o.O

I got to the hospital a little early – probably 20 or so minutes before my appointment time. I went there straight from work, and was meeting Den in the lobby. Before he came I quickly ran to the bathroom to pee (they had told me that I did NOT have to drink water beforehand), then sat on a bench to wait for Den. I glanced up just to see the reflection of his SUV glide by on a big glass window (I couldn’t see outside from where I was sitting, just a big glass window on the side), and sure enough it was him.

We “registered” – which is a process I still don’t understand. They call me the day before my appointment to “pre-register”: to confirm my name, date of birth, insurance, doctor, blah blah blah. Then the day of the appointment I have to go to the registration desk and “register” – which is basically saying “yes” or telling them my date of birth and stuff. It seems very redundant to me.

After registering we went back to the waiting room, where we checked in (yet another seperate process – this one just saying “My name is __ I’m here for an ultrasound.”) and sat to wait. Our appointment was for 3:00. We didn’t get called until 3:30. In that time the TV was on (news, bleh) and I was getting seriously irritated by some older boys who were there with their mother and grandmother. Older as in around 8-10 years old. They were knocking on the fish tank glass (to which I was sitting there in horror, you should NOT be doing that to the fishies), they were playing with their little action figures on the lampshade (I was sure they were going to knock over the lamp), they were fiddling with the combination locks on the cabinet under the fish tank. All the while their mother was reading a magazine completely ignoring them. I am just flabbergasted sometimes. Do people think this is appropriate behavior? Or are they just too tired of correcting them all the time? I was seriously irritated.

Shortly before we got called in a mother was leaving with her two little ones. Her boy was around 2 or 3, walking behind her. So cute!! I leaned over to Den and said, “See!! I want one of those!!” :D

Then our name was called! The tech led us back to an ultrasound room (the same one as for my first tri screening) and asked if I needed to use the washroom. Den answered, “Yes!!” for me as I made a beeline for the washroom, as I had been wimpering in the waiting room about needing to pee. To be honest I don’t know if I had to pee or if I just had an upset tummy.

When I came out I hopped up on the sheet-covered bed/table and pulled up my shirt a little. The tech tucked a towel into my pants (I wore my yoga pants for just this reason – easy to tug down a bit, and very stretchy), squirted some gel onto my belly, and got started! She asked first if we wanted to know the sex, and we both said, “Yes!!” She asked what we thought it was, and I confessed I’d felt that this was a boy from the start.

The first glance was the baby curled up in a ball, which made me worry, but he didn’t stay there for long. For the first 10 minutes or so she was measuring the baby’s head, arms, heart, etc, in addition to checking on the position of my placenta and how my cervix was doing. I was trying to enjoy it, but at the same time I really wanted her to hurry up and get down to the important part. lol We kept seeing the baby’s hand all outstretched, all five little fingers. Looks like long little fingers, just like mama. :mushy: It was hard to get my bearings straight, as she was moving the U/S wand around so much to get the best angle for pictures. Baby was definitely constantly moving though… she was kind of talking to him, “Come on baby, move a little…” She’d wiggle the wand around a little as if trying to convince him to move around.

Then she goes to move down to measure the legs and says, “You wanted to know right?” Then she started checking the legs. I couldn’t see anything at first, my heart was pounding a little bit in excitement, then she says, “Looks like it’s a boy!” Sure enough baby had his legs wide open, and his little “bits” were dangling around. We got two photos of that – I only scanned the better one. But both show the two little bulges on top of one another like a snowman… the little balls and the little penis.

So then she started measuring the legs, got a photo of a foot sticking out, measured the spine. And every time she scanned back and forth his legs were wide open, showing off his boy parts. The tech actually apologised, “Sorry! Can’t help it, he has it all on display!” I just laughed.

I looked over at Den to see how he was feeling, and he wasn’t all excited like I expected him to be. I reached for his hand and said, “You’re getting your boy!” He pointed to his eye and then I realized why he looked so solid – he was trying desperately to hold it together and not start crying in front of the tech! His eyes were all teary.

When the ultrasound tech finished up she said that the doctor was going to come in to take a few more measurements of his own and she’d be sending him right in. She sat down at the table and I guess did a few quick calculations and said that the estimated weight of the baby was 9 ounces! :D She also said that everything looked perfectly fine. And she left.

In walked a male doctor. He introduced himself brusquely and shook our hands, then sat down and started scanning me. He pressed hard – much harder than she did. And he didn’t say much of anything. He asked if I had any questions, and I said, “Oh – what was the heartrate?” I know I’d seen her take a look at the heart, but she never said what the rate was. He blinked. “Why?” “Uhhh… I don’t know. I just like keeping track of numbers,” I shrugged. He didn’t say anything. A little bit later he checked the heartrate and measured it at 150bpm. “Any other questions?” I said no. Not like he was expecting any.

He asked me my age, I stumbled a bit trying to remember how old I was. He said everything looks good based on the ultrasound, though it can’t tell everything, but with my age and the fact that my screenings all came back negative that there’s a very low chance of anything being wrong.

He left. Den shook his fist at the door. I don’t know what it was, but he was just… snotty. It’s not like he said anything outright that was rude, but the guy’s whole attitude was one of an air of disdain… like Den said, “Like he was bestowing upon us his precious time.” And Den said the guy looked pretty offended by my question of what the heartrate was. LOL I find that hilarious. The doc certainly looked taken aback, that’s for sure. But I was in such a good mood I was just laying there laughing about how ridiculous it was. At least the tech was super nice – I’d ask for her again any day! Den commented afterwards about how quick and skilled she was, that she obviously had been doing ultrasounds for a very long time and knew exactly what she was doing. And she was just very friendly and polite.

As soon as we got out of the hospital Den text messaged his brothers, I text messaged Kel (though she never GOT it!!), my SIL, and my coworker to let them know the news. I called my mom but no one answered, so I just left a message for someone to call me back to find out the news.

Traffic sucked getting home – by then it was after 4:00 and it took way longer than usual to get home due to the rush-hour traffic starting. UGH. Remind me NOT to go into labor in rush-hour… I’ve never had that much problem getting home from the hospital before. (This is the same hospital I went to for my RE, so I was there a lot!)

We got a whole strip of ultrasound photos – I think around 8 or 9? I only scanned in the best ones though. Then I had to resize and convert to black and white and adjust levels and crop and save and upload. Meanwhile I checked one of my forums to see how people were holding out waiting – it was after 5:00! The girls were going nuts. LOL! OMG I should save the conversations that went on in that time period… they declared that it should be LAW that everyone uploads ultrasound photos BEFORE logging on, because they saw that I was online and still hadn’t posted yet. Oops! Forgot about that! But they were so damn funny I was laughing my ass off at everyone shrieking for me to post already. (I wanted to post with the pics!)

Of course that was when my mom called me so I had to talk to her and tell her the big news! She guessed girl… and she told me my dad doesn’t want to know. o.O WTF? Does he really think we’re going to get through Christmas without anyone mentioning it around him? Ummm, I think not. LOL My dad’s kind of a freak. Meanwhile, as I’m telling mom about the ultrasound and how baby had his legs WIDE open the whole time, Den – who was still highy giddy at this point – sat down on the couch, lifted his legs, and held the TV remote between his legs in imitation of our little kid. He is VERY proud of his boy. LOL Weirdo…

Once mom hung up I managed to get the big news posted here and on all my forums where people were waiting impatiently!

Okay, I’m totally exhausted so a quick one today…

Was up all night with the cat, doing the fretting mama thing. But after a trip to the vets he’s really perked up and looks much better. He’s finally eating, which is a big YAY. He’s even purring and nuzzling our hands. I’m so glad to start getting my baby boy back. Only problem is that he’s “leaking” urine everywhere he goes… especially if you pick him up. Yeah, umm… oops. Heh. He’s still pretty sick and far from out of the woods, but… it’s definitely looking up.

I nearly started crying at the vet’s office. First they examined him, which was obviously very painful for him, he was growling (which I have NEVER heard him do), then they took him in the back to give him fluids and I could hear him meowing sadly, like he was crying for mama. :cry: I was sitting in the treatment room trying to hold back tears, my poor little boy. Gosh, is this what it’s going to feel like when it’s my human baby getting shots or whatever? In the past I’ve dealt with very scared pets at the vet, and very pissed off pets, but I don’t think I’ve ever had to take in a pet that was in so much pain before. I felt like I was betraying him, letting them do things to him that hurt. *I* know it was to make him better and it needed to get done, but you can’t explain that to a cat. (Though I tried. I was telling him all about how we’re going to make him better.) But yeah. Very upsetting. :(

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The human baby is certainly getting stronger kicks every day. This morning in between the vet appointment and work I layed down for a quick nap, and again there was kick after kick as I layed there trying to sleep. It used to be I’d feel a random kick, then nothing, then another one 10 minutes later. Now there are times where I get a flurry of activity… Kick kick kick! Like he/she is trying to make a point or something. It’s kind of funny.

Tomorrow is the big day! I’m excited… but the excitement has kind of been brought down several notches due to worry over my kitty. But tomorrow we could actually know who is in there! We’re very very excited to name him/her and quit this “it” and “him/her” thing. I can’t even put into words how I feel…. nervous and excited and wondering if it’s even going to feel “real” to me. It’s not sinking in right now.

I didn’t get around to mentioning it yesterday, but our cat got sick. All night. I was worried, didn’t get much sleep. First thing in the morning I took him to the vet’s office, where it was discovered it was actually worse than I thought and he was hospitalized for the day. He had/has a urinary blockage…. crystals. For those of you who don’t know what that is, basically his urethra was completely plugged and he couldn’t pee. It’s somewhat common with male cats, and it can be fatal. So yeah. Good sized vet bill, but it’s a good thing I took him in when I did.

He’s home now, been sleeping all evening. He has special food to try to help disolve the rest of the blockage that they couldn’t remove, and I’m to keep a strict eye on him to make sure that he’s urinating. So far all he’s done is sleep. The sedation really knocked him out…. and considering he couldn’t sleep all night last night due to pain he must be really exhausted. :sigh:

Needless to say, I napped for a couple of hours, punctuated my multiple phone calls – hubby at work so I could let him know what had happened, the vet to give me an update and instructions – and I wasn’t exactly relaxed for the day.

The interesting thing is that the baby was very active all day. I even felt it moving around while I was trying to nap, laying on my stomach as usual… not something I’ve felt before, for sure. I couldn’t decide if it was reassuring or annoying.

This week was looking to be a wonderful week, just trying to pass the time until my ultrasound. Well I haven’t really thought much about my ultrasound the last day. Nothing like some major medical issues with family members (as our pets are our family) to take your mind off things for a while. Not really what I would have chosen. :sigh:

Today I found out my brother’s dog has cancer. The vet’s given her 6 months to live.

I am in shock, I think. This isn’t just “my brother’s dog”…. this is a family dog, whom I lived with before moving out right before my wedding. The whole family is… trying to deal, I guess. I haven’t talked to my brother or my dad – their mode of coping is to shut down and retreat into themselves, so I’m not surprized or put off by it. My brother has to be dealing with a lot… it’s his baby.

I feel like we were so cheated. She’s only 3 years old. And I know and accept that our pets will never live as long as we want them to, but to be handed a death sentence at 3?? She is supposed to have so many more years ahead of her. I was worrying about how she’d react when they lost Oreo, my first dog who is now 12. Instead it looks like they’ll be losing Tessa first. It just seems so wrong. My child will never get to meet her.

Tessa is a Rotti/Lab mix… and you will never meet a sweeter dog. She’s scared of strangers, but if you are family she is utterly devoted. She’s a snuggly, cuddly dog with big, deep brown eyes. I could never resist giving her a big hug and cuddle, and caressing her soft, silky ears. My dad says the same thing… she’s just a big cuddle-dog. And she loves it too.

Our family will have a great big hole in it when she is gone. We will make whatever time she has left the best we possibly can for her. I’m going to make up a “care package” for her, full of toys and bones.

Dearest Tessa, I’m so sorry. It’s so unfair.

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I had plans to go to one of those free seminars at BRU this evening, and I almost decided not to go on account of feeling so upset. But Den said I should go, and I figured that getting out of the house would do me well. I was the only one at the seminar, so that was a little weird… though, being typical me, I just really felt bad for the person running it, that no one else showed! I did get to sit in a glider for the presentation, and I must say I love those things. Of course the one I was sitting in was a $400 glider (yikes!!), but I hope to find a cheaper model that is similarly comfortable.

Then I went to buy a couple more bras. I compare it to sticking hot pockers in my eyes. Yet again she measured me at a 32DD. o.O I wear a 38C. I KNOW I am not a 32 band size, no matter WHAT she measured me as…. I am convinced they are simply on crack at Motherhood Maternity and do not know how to measure, because I had to try on a ton of sizes to find that, you know what, I fit “best” in a 36D (and the band was on the last rung, so I know, logically, I should be wearing a 38C – the size I own now). So I bought a 36D soft-cup bra and a size small sleep bra (though now I wish I’d bought the medium). Next time I’m going to JC Penney and Target.

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I am having second thoughts about the girl’s name we picked out. See, we have two girls names, and I’m starting to get sad that we may not get to use our second choice. I know Den has mentioned on occassion that he’s considered “switching” the order too. The reasoning behind my feelings today are totally silly, I guess, but regardless. I’m sitting on the fence. I do like “Kailet Amber”… I love the name Kailie, that was what I wanted (though spelled differently). I am worried, however, about giving my child such a weird first name. We aren’t shy about sharing our name choices, and we’ve gotten a whole slew of different responses. But it’s not the “You’re crazy!” responses that worry me, it’s the “Ummm, how do you spell that?” or the “How do you pronounce that?” Do I really want to give my child a name that people are so baffled by? I don’t know. It’s my husband’s choice, and he absolutely loves it. Our second choice name is “Catherine Elizabeth.” Again we compromised… I would much rather have it spelled Katherine. I love the nick name Kate. It’s a classic, gorgeous name, it flows beautifully, and it has some hidden meaning to me.

But, I figure it’s REALLY not worth fretting over until we find out if we’re having a boy or a girl. If it’s a boy his name will be Devin, no question. And… I admit it, I think I want a boy a teenie tiny bit more than I want a girl. Probably because I’ve felt so strongly all along that this is a boy, it’ll be a bit of an adjustment if it’s not! (I’ve always wanted a girl, so it’s weird that I feel this way now.)

Just a few more days until we find out.

For someone who used to refuse to take any medication, at all, I am now up to six – count ’em SIX – pills per day. Granted half of those are vitamins of one sort or another: my prenatal, the B-6, and the Expecta (DHA). I started taking the B-6 when I started the Unisom, as it was recommended that I take them together, but at this point I think I could scrap the B-6 and I wouldn’t notice a difference, it’s the Unisom that does it. But I figure there’s no harm in taking B-6 (my prenatal doesn’t have any in it), so I continue on.

So other than the vitamins there’s the Unisom, like I mentioned. Of course there’s my SSRI, which I’ve been on for years (though I will be asking them to possibly change which one I’m on, due to breastfeeding concerns). And now…. Colace.

Oh yes. I’ve been fighting it for weeks now, just waiting for my body to get back to normal. It’s not happening. The pregnancy hormones have changed things and I need a little help. So many of my pregnant friends have been singing the praises of Colace, so here’s hoping it does the trick.

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Baby is getting more active by the day, I swear. I can’t believe how often I’m feeling flutters now. It really makes me wonder if the reason I wasn’t feeling anything was because I didn’t recognize it. Now I know what it is, I’m noticing it a lot more frequently. Baby was awake last night when I woke up after those crazy dreams, and apparently this morning it’s awake again.

I really thought I’d be a bit more freaked out by the movement, at least briefly. I’ve been waiting and waiting for that, “OMG there’s an alien in my belly!!” moment, but it hasn’t happened. I thought for sure when I felt it kicking that I would have a momentary jolt with reality and it would feel “weird”. Instead it’s felt completely right. More right than I’ve ever felt before. How do I explain to relatives and friends who ask how I’m doing that, yes, I’m puking a lot still and not able to eat very great… but that I feel better than I ever have in my life? Yes, I have the oily skin, and the dry hair, the aches and pains… but it’s all part and parcel of this whole package and the good outweighs the bad by so much it’s not even funny.

Yesterday I was writing about my feelings on breastfeeding on a forum. I had a few realizations while I was writing, about my expectations going into this pregnancy and into motherhood and breastfeeding. And it’s funny for me to say that I always knew I would love being pregnant, because for most of my life I didn’t even think I’d have kids! Last night I was laying in bed wondering how much my expectations of pregnancy have affected how I feel right now. I hear people talk about labor and many times the opinions they have going into it are reflected by how they feel when they come out of it. There are a few who go in thinking it’s going to be horrible and come out saying it was easier than they thought. But you know what I mean. Walking into a situation with a firm belief that either, “This is going to suck!” or “This is going to be wonderful!” does have an impact on how you perceive what’s happening to you. So with this pregnancy, did my firmly held belief that pregnancy would be wonderful lead me to this place now? An interesting thought. Obviously having a belief that I would not have morning sickness did not help me avoid it or even give me a lighter version of it. But I bet it’s helped me see it in a different light, and to overlook it as an inconvenience. My experience of pregnancy does not center around my nausea.

When Den and I started IF treatments we did talk about how far we were willing to go and what treatments we were willing to consider. We both pretty much agreed that we were willing to do whatever invasive treatments we had to, for as long as we had to, in order to get pregnant. Den’s line in the sand was that we had to use his sperm to get pregnant – to him that is the ultimate. I was never sure how I’d feel about using donor eggs if it came down to it. But I knew I wanted to be the one to carry the pregnancy. Now that I’m pregnant I know the answer: I would not care if it were my eggs or someone else’s. It’s my child, either way.

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The alien is still kicking. I’m looking forward to it getting more noticeable, but at the same time I could see how it could get hard to sleep with someone awake in there! :D

I’ll have to echo what Kristen said (although she said it far better). Mel has been nominated for an award, and she SO deserves to win. So all you have to do is click here once a day and vote for Stirrup Queen.
VOTE: http://2007.weblogawards.org/polls/best-medicalhealth-issues-blog-1.php

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Totally random comment, but – do not sleep while Law and Order is on the TV. Weird fuckin’ dreams man.

Okay okay, sorry, 18 week pic is up! ;) Thanks for the reminder, I forgot to upload it here!

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The baby sure is moving today. Late last night I had my hand resting on my belly – which I do quite frequently – and baby kicked. And I swear to you I felt it in my hand! A little tiny nudge. I feel like the baby’s gone from 0 to 60 in one week! I wasn’t feeling anything, now it’s kicking pretty hard! Today is the first day I’ve felt anything in a position other than laying in bed… I’m at work sitting at the desk and I felt a pop. How cool!! I just love it! Sure takes any anxiety down by a big notch when you can feel it moving around. :D

And I am also so freakin’ excited about Friday, when I will get to stop calling baby “it”!! 4 days to go! Not like I’m counting or anything…

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Of course, to remind me that life is not all sunshine and roses (we wouldn’t want that, now would we), I sprung a HUGE zit right beside my nose. -.- It’s one of those big red sore ones. Owwie.

My emotions, I’ve noticed are really polar. I have good days and I have bad days, and nothing in between. I’m either feeing super happy and lovey with the husband, I’m patient and laughing and calm…. or else I am totally irritated and ready to flip my lid. I wonder if that’s a symptom of the pregnancy hormones or if it’s just me. :lol:

It’s kind of weird that the things I worried about most are small issues. I really worried what pregnancy would do to my depression and my acne… and both are honestly not much different from before. Minor differences, but certainly not the huge issue I was fearing. And then I got totally blindsided by other things, like this persistent nausea. It really never entered my mind that I’d be one of those having bad morning sickness, much less having it past 18 weeks. And yet here I am. Just goes to show you that you can’t fret too much about the future!

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Every other tuesday I have a work meeting in the evening. Tomorrow is, I believe, an off-week, so I’ll be heading up to Babies R Us for one of their little free seminars. In two weeks they’re having a breastfeeding seminar, which I’d like to catch as well.

While I’m at the mall tomorrow I’m going to pick up a new bra or two. Due to the increased size of the boobage and the increased size of the belly I am having some issues with boobs sitting on belly. It drives. me. CRAZY. So, I wear my bra all the time now… that nice Hanes bra I bought at Target for cheap. It doesn’t have underwire. It’s comfy. My other bras, however? All have underwire. My boobs still have not grown enough that I need a new size… but I just can’t wear them anymore because of the underwire! So I’m going to try to find a sleep bra that fits, just to wear in bed when I’m on my laptop.