I am a mother to three children, two at home and one not. I am an atheist. I am passionate about childbirth and car seat safety. We have 2 dogs and 2 cats at home and I used to work for a non-profit cat rescue. I have a degree in computer information technology and used to freelance in web design and programming. Now I’m back in college aiming for my second bachelors in biology – I’d like to work in the IVF field some day if I can.

We had a long road to bring home a child. After tests could not diagnose me, IVF did: I have an egg maturity issue. During normal woman under 35 can expect 80% of her retrieved eggs to be mature. My normal started 8% (but got a little better with different treatment). I am not a “normal” IVF patient and pretty much resigned myself to getting very few embryos from fresh cycles and having to do multiple transfers to get pregnant. I did a lot of cycles over several years and felt like a walking IVF expert. I am so very thankful we live in Massachusetts where IVF is covered by our health insurance, there’s a good possibility we would not have any children if that were not the case.

Devin was conceived in our second IVF cycle. His nickname was “Sheepie” – which is why you’ll see sheep as a recurring theme around here. We were so very joyful… I have never felt so happy in my life, and I don’t think I ever will again, not without some kind of shadow lurking. The pregnancy was textbook, absolutely nothing of note to worry about. And then one week, when I was 35 weeks, he stopped moving. And just like that it was over, he was gone, and we were left to pick up the pieces.

After a few more cycles I got pregnant again. One day around 6 weeks along I had a lot of pain that just kept getting worse. Ultrasound confirmed the unbelievable: it was ectopic. I lost my right tube – good thing I don’t need tubes for IVF.

More IVF cycles and I got pregnant again with our beautiful, amazing daughter Kate. As I was rushed into the hospital room in labor, 3 days before my due date, I demanded to hear her heartbeat before pushing her out. There it was, and there she was born on May 22, 2010. She is, without a doubt, my joy in life.

When Kate was 15 months old I got the biggest surprise of them all – pregnant without treatments. I had taken some soy pills because I heard they could boost ovulation but after all those IVF cycles and losing a tube and all the shitty luck that we have had I never in a million years thought I would actually get pregnant. And on June 4, 2012, 13 days past my expected due date, I finally went into labor and had our second daughter, Ember. After birth she was in the NICU for 6 days for some breathing issues. I think she’s in our lives just to shake it up!