Bed time
Kate has been going to bed super easy for months now. We have our pre-bed wind-down period and routine, then I say good night to her, walk her into her room, put her down, tell her I love her, then leave. And she goes to sleep. This has been such a nice thing… but the last few weeks I’ve been feeling kind of sad and a little bit hormonal. I miss cuddling her, I don’t get to do that very often – she’s up and down and running around. I only really get cuddles when she’s falling asleep sitting with me on the couch (middle of the night wakeups, usually). So I decided to change up the routine a little bit and take a step “backwards,” as it were. When I take her into her bedroom, before putting her in her bed, I sit on the floor with her on my lap, rock her, and sing her a lullaby. She quickly got used to it and now says, “Sing?” when we go into her room at nap time. As soon as I sit down she gets comfortable and leans her head on my shoulder. It’s always the same song: Morningtown Ride, a lullaby from my childhood. It is so peaceful to be able to hold her in the dark for even a minute or two. She’ll always be my baby.
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Well at least that worked well until this week. Den coming home has really thrown off bedtime. At first we thought she must be teething, she was screaming and screaming when I took her near her room. But oddly enough she wasn’t doing it at nap time when Den was at work. I started watching her closely around bedtime. She is showing all the usual signs of being ready for bed: rolling around, getting quiet, rubbing her eyes, asking for Elmo, sitting with a blanket. But when I gently pick her up and say the word bed? Hysterics. Absolute hysterics. And asking for daddy. And if I put her down she runs to him and wants to PLAY. We tried putting her to bed together, but then she’d just get wound up and try climbing out of bed and running off to play. I tried saying night-night to daddy and taking her in there myself, and that’s when the real tantrum hysterics kick in – I have never seen her throw a fit like this. All I can figure is that she just doesn’t want to stop fun time with daddy (even though we’ve had an hour+ of mellow time before bed, it’s not like we interrupt play time for bed), or she’s upset that in the morning when she wakes up he’ll be gone (at work).
I really hope she adjusts soon because I’d really like to spend time with Den, he needs sleep, and when the baby is born it’s likely going to be him putting her to bed.
My son has been going through a bit of a daddy thing lately as well… he’s fine all day when it’s just the two of us, but come night time, he will FREAK out if my husband is out of sight. It takes him longer to go to bed, and first thing in the morning he goes into our bedroom to wake up his dad. He’s 20 months, just a little behind Kate, but I’m not really sure it’s an age thing. Our weekends have been jammed lately, and we haven’t had as much family time together on Saturdays and Sundays, so I’m starting to think it has to do with that.
Oh boy. I’m sorry you’re dealing with that too!
Have Daddy do the bedtime lullabye and cuddles.
That might be a good idea. I was trying to keep the routine as normal as possible for her in the hopes it was help her, but clearly that’s not working yet.
I agree with DeAnna, you need to include Daddy for the bedtime ritual. We’ve always done Give Daddy Hugs and Kisses and Shea will do his thing with picking on them, cuddling and then I put them to bed. Instead of the going to the bedroom, try a half hour before bedtime, Den can tell her Kate it’s almost time for bed, let’s cuddle or whatever is quiet for them to do together. Then you do your thing.
I’m sure it’s just because Den hasn’t been home for a month.
Oh giving daddy hugs and kisses and cuddles and saying goodnight was always part of the routine before he left.
Tonight he put her to bed (following my usual routine) and while she did cry when he left it was only for a minute and it wasn’t hysterics. Of course 2.5 hours later she’s still talking in there, so…..
I´d deffinately start slowly adjusting her rutine now before Ember is actually here instead of doing it drasticlly the day Ember comes home ;)
If Den will be putting her to bed once the baby arrives,then start doing that now..also,have him take Kate on walks or do some shopping with him etc.Beleive me,it´s way better to be dealing with a toddler who´s be thrown off her rutine now than dealing with it when you also have a new born baby ;)
Seriously,any big changes you can make now whilst she´s still the only child will make things way easier later on :)
Good to see real expertise on display. Your coirunbttion is most welcome.