So the Midwife was right! Ember is in fact head down, butt and feet up and waving around at my ribs. It certainly does make sense. So the little tickles I feel down low really are her hands. And clearly her feet are well-acquainted with my ribs, but I knew that. The lump I feel on either side of my belly (it changes day to day) is a butt. I really love knowing how she’s in there!

The rest of the ultrasound was really normal. And that is awesome. Her heartrate was strong in the 160’s (she was active at the time, kicking me), she has hair fuzz around her head (guess none of my babies will have my newborn baldness), and she’s growing really well. The measurements estimate her weight at 5lb 3oz, which is right where she should be at this point. Clearly no growth restriction, no reason to worry. I know she’s growing, though, I can certainly feel it… I still have a gut feeling she’s going to be bigger than Kate at birth. And I also think she’s going to be bigger than Kate, period. But then that’s not hard to do, Kate’s our little shortie, lol. Oh, and Ember is still definitely a girl.

And the tech got an awesome pic of her! I’ve never gotten a 3d pic of any of my babies showing the whole face! She looks a lot like Kate. :)

I am feeling much bigger. Belly is feeling quite stretched and heavy, especially down really low just above my pelvis where the bulge starts. I dislike pants a lot. Underwear is bugging me too. I think I’m starting to walk with a bit of a waddle, but not because of any pelvic discomfort or pain, but just because of the awkwardness of the belly. (I can, however, still sprint to scoop up an on-the-run toddler.) My lower back keeps needing to get stretched out, it’s tendency is to start pinching but everything is so loose. My ankles are starting to swell just slightly. My butt is huge (compared to what it used to be). And I’m now starting to get a rounded face and thicker upper arms – it took a long time for this pregnancy to show anywhere but my butt and belly, but here it is.

I can definitely feel like I’m moving into my last month. Which is crazy and yet it feels like I’ve been pregnant a long time! It’s frustrating at times because Kate wants to sit on my lap and cuddle and I just can’t do that anymore – I really miss it. It’s hard to carry her even on my hip, and I can’t chase her around playgrounds like I used to be able to. I am looking forward to one day being able to do those things again for both girls. But on the other hand I think about how this is my last month being pregnant, ever. Every evening after Kate goes to bed I lounge in bed with my laptop (only really comfortable position anymore) and spend time with me and my belly. I pull up my shirt and just watch limbs move around in there, I poke and pat and talk. It has been such an amazing blessing to go through this three times.

It is kind of weird thinking about how I’m going to be starting over again with a new tiny little newborn. A toddler is definitely an entirely different set of challenges, but I’ve been enjoying recently how easy it is to leave Kate with friends for a couple hours. Granted I don’t do that very often for anything but class, but she’s gotten to be very good about babysitters and playing with others and not having mommy there sometimes. It’s a whole different kind of mommyhood for me! I still feel a little guilty every time I’m not with her, but it’s been very nice to go to the grocery store by myself or to go watch a movie. A baby was much easier to bring along with me without her running off, pulling things off shelves, saying “Mama!” a hundred times when I’m trying to read some product packaging, or playing the limp noodle in the middle of the store. The trade-off is that I didn’t really feel like I could leave her as a baby. Even with Denis I’d still have to plan around nursing sessions and pump and prepare the bottles. There is quite a bit of freedom in knowing she can eat whatever is in the fridge! So now I’m going to be starting back from square one. Although I’m thinking that going out with just the baby is going to feel easy. Managing the two of them will take some practice!

I’m excited and scared to meet this baby. Excited to hold her and see who she is and get baby cuddles again. Scared mostly about how crazy it’s going to be with a toddler and a newborn and how Kate is going to react. I know it’s going to be an adjustment for Kate, and I think she’ll do fine, but there are going to be times when she gets frustrated and when she starts acting up. She’s already testing boundaries, and I can imagine that is going to get worse when she wants attention. But my worries are all short-term; I know that as the girls grow they are going to be best friends and watching them together is going to be just so awesome.