I am headed into my third trimester now – 27 weeks tomorrow! That seems a little insane. 3 more months left. I’m really starting to think more about the birth and bringing this baby home… and Kate’s birthday party, which will hopefully happen beforehand. We’re now planning summer events and having to take into consideration the baby. The baby! Crazy crazy. I am getting pretty excited now to hold our second baby girl and find out who she is.

I purchased a dresser for Ember and Den set it up in their room. It’s not in place yet, as we still have to remove the bookcase, but it’s there and I’ve put a few clothes in it. I’ve also spend time planning how to finish up their room decorations, what photos to hang on the wall, what decals to buy. Little things, but I guess I’m nesting so they seem important to me. I’m very clearly nesting, in fact, since my other obsession is cleaning out and organizing my hard drives; I have spent hours meticulously going through files and archiving/deleting/renaming.

Right now I’m trying to balance preparing for the baby with not changing too much on Kate. Right now I’ve been thinking a lot about the crib. We have only one. Kate is very happy in it. Last week one night I couldn’t change the crib sheets by myself so I ended up taking out the bumper – yes, she sleeps with a bumper now that she’s older and very mobile. I knew she slept in the corner but I hoped she’d adjust to maybe a blanket rolled up. Nope. We had some touch and go nights where she was clearly displeased with the new situation so I tucked the bumper back in on two sides so she still has her corner. I didn’t tie it in though, so now I can just pull it out to change the sheets. But it really made me think, why bother disturb her? If she’s sleeping well – and most of the time she is – I really don’t want to disturb that, especially with all the changes a new baby will bring. So right now we’re just going to use the cosleeper for the baby and wait and see. Maybe Kate will be ready to move before Ember needs the crib. If not, well, then we’ll look at getting a second crib. I am trying not to plan too far ahead, as we all know how well that can go with little ones (but that’s hard for me, because I am definitely a long-term planner!).

I had an appointment last week and all is very well! I am up roughly 20lbs, which she said is normal and good. I didn’t see my blood pressure, but it’s been slightly higher than my normal this pregnancy because I have to hold a wiggling toddler on my lap the entire time. My fundus measured 25.5 at 26 weeks, so perfect. Baby’s heartbeat was loud and clear – Kate sat and just stared at the probe and the funny sound coming from it. I’m glad she wasn’t upset by the midwife touching mama’s belly, but she seemed more curious than anything. (Also, side note: taking a toddler to every appointment is a lot more exhausting than I would have thought.)

I am very happy that my back has finally cleared up and the Aveeno lotion I’m using is helping with the itch as well. My back hasn’t broken out that bad in many many years and my skin is super sensitive this pregnancy; there are some nice looking shirts that I can’t wear because for some reason the material feels really weird against my skin. I’m very itchy on my back and shoulders. My face was breaking out really bad too and that also seems mostly under control finally. I had to be very diligent about using my Proactiv on my face and I got a stronger benzoyle peroxide wash for my back and shoulders. I’ve also noticed my cheeks are very red. I know I am prone to color in my face anyways, but it just seems extra red right now – I can’t even cover it with foundation (which I use only for special occasions, due to the breakouts).

Sleep has all of a sudden gotten very difficult. I am getting braxton-hicks contractions in the evening, I know that much – it feels funny but I have to check my belly to see if it is a BH or baby moving or something. I get them a couple times a day that I notice. But now I think I’m getting them at night because I wake up feeling like my bladder is going to burst and I have to run for the bathroom. Even when I wake up having to pee and don’t have a contraction I still can’t fall back asleep… it’s just too much pressure and it feels like I’m going to pee myself. So off I go in the dark. I’m also just getting uncomfortable sleeping in my usual half-belly position, which means I can’t fall back asleep very easily – not to mention the heartburn I get some nights (like tonight). I think it’s time to start sleeping with extra pillows. The belly just feels heavy and awkward now!

I don’t wish the next three months to speed by, as I know this is probably my last pregnancy and there is so much I do enjoy about it. Watching my belly move is so awesome. But I’m also having anxiety creep in. Now that I’ve started feeling a connection and excitement I get the corresponding anxiety and fear… those little thoughts and “what if”s that I try not to let in. I try to convince myself that this pregnancy will be normal and fine and this baby will be here in our arms… but the only time I’ll fully believe that is when she’s here. Until then I enjoy what I can and am extremely thankful for having another very active baby, but I will probably continue to wake up in the middle of the night hazily thinking Is she still alive? in those minutes before I feel her move.