Another night of hell
I love animals. I always have. When I was 7 we got a cat. When I was 12 I got my own dog (with permission from only one parent – yeah, that didn’t go over well). It was like I was born knowing that I had to have them in my life. Which is why we ended up with two dogs and two cats. I always swore that nothing would make them less important to me… but sadly infertility treatments, pregnancy, and a baby have all served to cut my patience in half and I find they irritate me more than not nowadays. I know it will probably pass, but it does make me sad to realize that I just don’t have the mental space for them anymore. I love them, but I don’t necessarily want to spend all my free time dealing with them – which is kind of what happens. If Kate’s not in our arms then we get a cat crawling up into our face, a dog barking for attention, and someone banging on the water bowl that is empty. It’s exhausting, and a little bit frustrating. I am definitely re-thinking my sanity in having four pets at the same time.
Normally it’s just mildly irritating, but there are times when I want to drop-kick someone. Like last night, when Zeeke barked just after Kate and I had drifted off. And it wasn’t the “grrrr-woof” that they sometimes make. No, this was a full out german shepherd “BARK BARK BARK!!!!!!!” Piercing. Loud. And it woke Kate up.
Now for naps if something goes wrong with the going-to-sleep attempt I just get her up and wait until she gets sleepy again, usually in about 15 minutes. But if it happens when we go to bed for the night? All HELL breaks loose. It was the moving-to-cosleeper-mistake all over again. She was wide awake, refusing to nurse, didn’t want to lay down. I tried for 20 minutes to get her to drift off again, but she fought me. So we switched tactics and Den sat her in the exersaucer to play until she got tired. Which sounds like a good idea, wounds like it would work. Instead when she got tired she had the meltdown of meltdowns, screaming like banshees were stealing her soul, and nothing we did could get her to stop. We walked her, rocked her, shushed her, attempted to nurse her… she kept on screaming. It was like something snapped in her poor tired brain and all she could see was Overtired – Alert! System meltdown in progress! I put her in the mei tai and walked her around and thankfully that, for whatever reason, got through to her and she passed out on me. I slowly unwrapped her and layed down with her to sleep.
Now had that been the end of it we would just have been saying, okay, well next time we’ll just put her in the mei tai. But it wasn’t. She fell asleep, but it wasn’t a nice calm, deep sleep. She was fitful and restless all night long, whimpering, squirming and twitching. I had to soothe her many, many times. She nursed constantly, but never really got a good feed. It was beyond frustrating. I don’t think I even got an hour stretch, I woke up exhausted.
She’s been kind of strung-out today, periods of happy interspersed with periods of crying for no apparent reason. She slept on and off most of the morning, and then we took a 2-hour nap in the afternoon, but she’s still not great. The lack of a good night’s sleep really hit her hard. (Surprisingly I am doing much better than expected.)
Tomorrow is her 4-month ped appointment and I’m definitely interested to see if her ear infection is 100% gone. What I don’t get is why she won’t settle down and fall asleep, why waking back up at that critical moment totally ruins the entire night. It is utterly frustrating. Yet normally she lays down and falls asleep without an issue. I mean, before Zeeke woke her up she was happily, peacefully falling asleep without any fuss or complaint.
A friend told me before my first son was born, “you’ll never love your (animals) the same way after having your kid”. I dismissed that statement, in disbelief that I could ever NOT love my dog as much as I did pre-kids.
Well…turns out, she was right! All I can do now is tolerate my dog. And I know that sounds terrible ~ but she sheds and barks like crazy, and growls at the kids when they invade her space, blah, blah, blah. I definitely do NOT love my dog as much as I once did.
The good news is now, at 4 & 2, my dog is starting to love (and respect!) my kids in return. (still not so much the 1 year old though :)
Have you tried white noise machines for drowning out some of the barking/background noise for naps and night? We use air purifiers b/c we have allergies anyway, but a fan or something similar would work.
I always swore I would never be that person. Yeah. Well. I am. It makes me sad!
We do have a white noise machine, but when the shepherd really gets going nothing can drown him out except maybe an F-15. (He sleeps in the bedroom with us.)
Have you read the book The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. She had some really good tips for sleep issues, and with no crying. :) Good luck.
I actually have that book requested from the library right now! I’m looking forward to getting it.
Dont feel bad Nat.We had two cats when my daughter Amalia was born and we loved them to bits..but after she arrived,like you,I just didnt have the time or the patience to deal with their suddenly anoying habbits anymore.
They´d wake her during naps,the hair and the fluff started to really bug me (it got on everything and disgusted me),and I found myself starting to get anoyed with having to deal with my animals during my very scarce and very precious free time.We did end up finding new homes for them and to be honest,I never looked back.
After that,we we´re done having kids (yeah..right lol) so over the years we got 2 yorkshire terriers.Then I got pregnant with Noe 8 years later and again,I found myself in a situation where having an impossible-to-pottytrain pair of yapping,hiper dogs just wasnt going to work.We gave them to my MIL.
I felt terrible at the time,but when I think about it (and I still do) no animals will ever be above my children,and its not like we are just going to kick them out into the street-they go to good homes kwim? Sometimes we have to chose,and well,my kids are my kids and a dog/cat is just that..as bad as it sounds thats how I see it *shrugs*
Im not telling you to get rid of your pets (because not everyone is like me lol),but if you do,its nothing to feel bad about.Or you may find something that works..can you keep them outside at night or while she naps? Alot of people would rather do something like that than part with them etc
I hope you figure something out..what ever you decide,it´ll be fine :)
People like you should not have pets. Not only once did you discard them, but twice.
I have managed to happily and healthily raise three children in accord with my pets. Yes, at times it was tough. But to turn away the only things that love unconditionally – our pets? You are not to be believed.
Yes Gina, there is something wrong with that!
Just wanted to give you a random tip (if for some reason the ear infection isn’t completely healed), I have read and heard that nursing while laying down tends to cause ear infections. You know how many doctors have differing opinions on stuff like this…and I also know that you said she only really nurses well IF she’s laying down…so I am NOT trying to make you feel worse or stress you out. But since you’re seeing the doctor it might be something to ask their opinion on. For whatever it’s worth, I nursed my daughter laying down up until 15 months, so I am ALL FOR doing it. But if little Kate seems to have ear issues, you might want to check into that. Good luck!
I’ll definitely ask about that! At this point I’m pretty sure something is up with her ears, she’s just not acting normal. UGH.
This STILL sometimes happens to E if something wakes him up, but he’s much better.
Sadly, we’ve experienced the same pet thing. It is getting better slowly. But it was like my whole world was E at first. The pets had their basic needs met, but I couldn’t even focus on them at all. Now we’re back to some loving and attention, but it’s not like it was before. I think that’s going to take a while. :( I had no idea just how overwhelming my love for E would be… that it would eclipse almost everything as I adjusted to it.