When Kate gets tired it’s an obvious thing, with her wailing and whining far more than is normal. It can come out of nowhere, from happy baby to needs-a-nap baby in the blink of an eye. Thankfully she’s very predictable so I almost always know that it’s coming any minute.

It can be a little bit of a hassle to drop everything and take her to bed and lay down with her until I can get her settled. Sometimes my immediate reaction is annoyance at being interrupted. But as soon as I lay down with her I immediately feel my body relax, releasing tensions I wasn’t even aware of. The hormones of breastfeeding further knead at my body, softening it. The rest of the world melts away and I curl closer to my baby, kiss her hair, breathe her in. Sometimes in that moment I realize how exhausted I am and I choose to stay there and drift away, napping with my daughter. Most of the time I get up and return to whatever I was doing before… but with more calm, more patience, more appreciation.

Kate still listens to that voice inside that tells her to drop everything and sleep to recharge her batteries. Being an adult I’ve forgotten how to do that, I need her to constantly remind me.