Adding to the world
Kate’s cousins were born today, the twins. This is a good thing, a cause for celebration. But. They weren’t supposed to be born for another two weeks. It was discovered that one of them was having problems, in fact there were several markers of twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome. They delivered within the hour. One of the babies is tiny, both are in the NICU.
Den and I are both struggling a little bit, overcome with emotion. We are both just so thankful that the babies are okay. In the period between the news of “will be delivering” and “they’re both okay” I was scared, having flashbacks of a dead baby, of devastation and loss. The news that both babies were okay was a huge relief.
But now I just feel sad for me. The sense of danger, of concern for someone else, has passed. After that sigh of relief there always seems to be a flood of new-found grief for me, for the time that it didn’t all work out okay. I layed in bed curled around my sweet little one, alive and healthy and perfect, nuzzling her hair and kissing her forehead in thanks and relief that she is okay. But then I cried for my son, who was not.
I’m so sorry, Nat.
We all still grieve for your little Devin. He is not forgotten.
Carrie
My little niece was born on Wednesday, without any complications or anything of that sort. But I did the same thing. I spent a little while happy she was okay, and then cried for my baby girl who wasn’t.
I hate that we have to feel this way. (hugs)
*hugs*
Many hugs!
How wonderful and hard at the same time. ♥
Sending prayers up for the littlest ones and for you, Den, Devin and Kate.
My most fervent wishes that the twins continue to thrive. Also, Kate is cute – pass it on.