Sleepy (Not)
Kate was wide awake and definitely NOT tired. She kicked me and wiggled and whined when I layed down with her. Not like her at all. I fed her, changed her, and still she was smiling and cooing at me. Cute, but arg. I ended up sitting up in bed with her sitting between my legs. She played with a toy with all the seriousness a 2-month old can muster while I surfed the web on my phone.
Then we heard it. The diaper being filled. Den changed her. She smiled at us, whined a bit, I gave her a soother and rocked her. Out for the night. She’s now tucked into bed at my side.
No wonder she couldn’t sleep earlier.
::
Kate being asleep for the night does not mean that I can wander off to watch TV, use my laptop, or eat food. I can’t even snuggle my husband. I am now stuck here, laying on my side next to Katherine until she wakes up. As much as I love her sleeping nestled against me – and I do – I wish I could sneak away for a little bit.
At times over the past few weeks I have wondered if I am doing something wrong. Most other babies are sleeping somewhere by themselves by now: napping in a swing, sleeping in a pack’n’play or cosleeper. Kate has reversed; she was taking day naps in her pack’n’play and would sleep some in her swing. Now she wants nothing to do with either. She used to sleep pretty deeply but has slowly shifted into a light sleeper. No matter how gently I attempt to put her down she immediately rouses. Sometimes, if she’s in a nice deep sleep, it takes her a minute or two. Usually her eyes crack open accusingly while I’l
M trying to put her down. A couple weeks ago I could put her down on her belly when tired and she’d fall asleep. Now she dozes and fusses restlessly, as if she’s either unable or unwilling to give in to sleep.
I remind myself that this is just a phase, that she needs me right now and too soon I won’t get the privilege of these snuggles. But I just keep wondering, is it her, or is it something I’m doing? Not that the answer really matters. It is what it is. I continue to try to simply have faith in her, that she will know when she is ready.
The interesting side of sleeping with her is that I actually appreciate the fact that she still wakes every 3 hours; it gives me the opportunity to stretch and roll to my other side! There are some nights I wake before she does, hip aching, waiting for her to wake up.
But then nothing beats opening my eyes in the morning to see her smiling face first.
My son is the same way, he sleeps curled up at my side
usually once he’s asleep during the day i can lay him anywhere, except….his car seat, he wakes up with a furrowed brow and instantly the lower lip starts to quiver in a “how DARE you” kind of way. Good times hehe
I wish you the best! She will indeed outgrow this phase.
Just reassurance that it can and will change. Noel wouldn’t sleep anywhere but attached to one of us until nearly 3 months. She now takes all naps and sleeps at night in her crib, but for the rare nap (and if she gets up in the middle of the night and we can’t get her back down).
We actually got a “talking-to” by the ped about it (not our normal one, as he was out on paternity leave at the time) when I went in for her 2 month appointment, but whatever. Everybody needs to do what works for them. For us, it was sleeping with her/letting her sleep on us, then moving her to her crib, and now working on sleep training. For you, it may be something different. But that doesn’t make it, whatever it is, bad or wrong.
I’ve had 4 kids, and I think the reason why she is “reversing” is because she is getting old enough to know what she wants, and how to get it. As a tiny newborn, she didn’t. Of course I’m not a doctor, just another mom like you. It’s a good thing you don’t mind it, because it will just get harder to change the habit as she gets older!
I co-slept for a LONG time (around a year, I think). But I was able to get to a point where he would sleep until I came to bed swaddled in his Miracle Blanket.
You shouldn’t feel like you’re doing anything wrong. Different things work for different families/babies. Comparing will get you nowhere! People warned me that I was starting a bad habit that would be hard to break. My kid (at almost three) sleeps in his bed all night while their kids get up in the night to get in bed with them.
You have the patience of a saint….I would never be able to just lay there, in one position for 3 hours…I am too restless. I’m glad you are okay with it…co-sleeping is such an individual taste. For me, I know it is not a good thing…not because I think it is bad…I know many people who co-sleep and everything is great…it is just that I am the bad sleeper so it doesn’t work for my needs..ha ha (like those matter when you have a baby)….so yay for you for just going for it. However…I would try to let her work it out every now and again as she is now at an age where she knows what she wants and will only get more demanding as she gets older. I believe Ellie has a valid point…it may just not be a phase…it may go on for the next 3 years and that may just be a bit longer than you had in mind. :)
All babies are different, and I think you have said it so well before, that for now you and kate are working out what is right for you. If it is lots of cuddles and together time, then that is perfect. If you can get some rest with kate in bed beside you then thats awesome. I love sleeping with Ella, but its something i can only do when im not super tired, so if im exhausted she will sleep in her bassinette beside the bed. She was due on the first of june (we were pregnancy buddies!) but came 10 weeks early at the end of march. She love love loves falling asleep on me. is starting to stay asleep for longer cycles now tho, even slept for 11 hours last night which im sure was a post vaccination fluke. Anyway, i just wanted to say, that they change so fast, what works now isnt always what will work in 2 weeks time, you just have to do what works for your little family! you guys are loving her so well, and meeting all her needs perfectly!!! x
It is normal, it is normal! For me, the cosleeping itself never bothered me, just the feeling of “what if he never outgrows this?” My son is now 22 months and made the transition to a big boy bed rather painlessly. He still joins me in the early morning, and it’s working just perfect. I have faith that one day he’ll be in his own bed all day long. It seems like not that long ago he’d only nap in the carrier, and only sleep with one of us next to him. Enjoy it!
I never co-slept with my older kids,and I didnt mean to with Noe,it just kinda happened.
Things do get easier..but you may be in this for the long run,which is actually one of the downsides of them getting used to it (which they certainly do).
Dont get me wrong,co-sleeping was a lifesaver when Noelia was a baby..but now that she´s over 2 years old and I really really need her to be in her own bed and to sleep all night,on some nights I find it anoying..very much so.
I never get to disconect and just relax and whilst thats OK in the begining (its expected),its a PITA at this point.
I am human.Obviously I want to snuggle with my husband,watch a little TV in bed,or just stretch out etc,and the fact that I still cant do those things yet does get to me in a huge way sometimes.Im ready to move past this “baby” stage and Noelia still isnt..did I bring this on myself? Maybe I shouldent have co-slept? Ugh…(see my problem here? lol)
I think you have to find a way to still be able to have a certain amount of “freedom” for your own sanity.You need to eat,you need to shower,you need some time for yourself and you will obviously want/need to spend quality time with your DH after Kate goes down for the night.
Personally,I would try and find a way to get her to start the night in her crib and then go to your bed later on (after she wakes up to BF).If you can do that,you can just switch on a monitor and walk away..get things done,snuggle with DH,watch a movie,shower,eat etc etc
I agree that this time is precious and should be enjoyed..but if co-sleeping also means that you have to go to bed when she does,lay there all the time that she does,not leave the room when she´s alseep because she´s on your bed and you are scared she´ll fall etc..then its time to find something that wont obligate you to ignore your own basic needs and deprive you of VERY necesary hubby time/personal time etc
Beleive me,you need your own space too and you certainly arent a worse mother if you arent attached to Kate in some way or form 24/7 :)
I am currently trying to figure out how to get Noelia out of my bed,as although everyone told me that it would be easy because she will do so when she´s ready bla bla,Im finding that in this case,its not true..or Im just not willing to wait until she´s 35..? lol.
echoing N and here to tell you I had (and still have sometimes) those same thoughts.