I was just finishing that post yesterday evening, editing the photos, as I checked some of my forums and stumbled across a post so shocking that I lost my sense of direction. Someone I know was losing her baby – and it wasn’t the first one she’s lost. This was her “finally” pregnancy – her pregnancy after a terrible loss and many struggles. She had just a day ago posted about how happy she was, how blessed. She is another one of those who lives with such joy it shows through her words and pictures. But then, in one day, it all went to hell. Incompetent cervix, very premature labor. The doctors tried to stop it, but then an infection started. There was nothing that could be done. People were praying for a miracle, but I knew how bad it was.

I sat here in bed and stared at the post I’d just written and just started to cry. It was all mixed up – my grief for her, my knowledge of how fickle life is, my fears for myself. All I could think was how she must be feeling, how her heart must be breaking into so many pieces. I remember how it felt the first time. I can’t imagine going through it again.

Today everyone from the forum was waiting on updates. They came, and it was not good. Their baby boy was born this afternoon at only 20 weeks. And all we can do is weep.