What day will she choose?
It’s so strange, in a way, that my daughter will choose her own birthday. It is strange for me, as someone who likes to have control of everything around her. I had my fingers in every aspect of my IVF cycles, planning out dates a year in advance. It’s what I do. I chose (in a manner of speaking) her due date. But her birthday is out of my hands. It’s up to her. I feel a sense of relief at letting go.
It’s also weird to go to bed every night wondering if this is going to be the night that things get started. Especially when I’m having contractions all the time, and after I lay down they can sometimes start to come a little more frequently. But then I figure either I’ll sleep through the night and wake up in the morning not in labor, or I’ll wake up later when they get stronger. So I sleep… and I wake up when I have to pee. Without any big signs of labor blaring.
I can’t believe she’s in there, wiggling around, full size, and could just… come out at any time. And be a baby. Like, a real, live baby, wiggling and squeaking and everything. I watch my belly rolling, I talk to my belly monster, I have all the baby things around the house. But she’s my inside-the-belly baby. I really can’t picture her coming out. We’re just in this pattern of killing time now that I’m done working. Oh don’t worry, I have plenty of projects to keep me busy this week. I’m not booking appointments in advance, I’m not really making plans besides, “If I’m still pregnant I might stop by.”
I am still feeling pretty good, though things are starting to get a little more uncomfortable – namely, my lower back. It’s not horrible or anything, just tight, especially at night when I’m trying to sleep. I’m trying to be good about stretching it out and Den gave me a nice massage today. I might call the chiropractor for another appointment next week (if I’m still pregnant!). The heartburn is back, and it’s gag-worthy at night. Blech. Not much else. My feet may be a tiny bit more puffy (and vein-y). I’m still wearing my wedding band, but that’s getting tight with this warm weather. And the stupid braxton-hicks continue to send me to the bathroom frequently. (I just checked…. oops, the wedding band is stuck, rofl! Guess it’s time to take it off, sigh.)
I’m just sitting around waiting for some sign that things are progressing…. and I’m not getting any. Not that that means much, I know things can start with a bang, but I’m also mentally preparing myself to go overdue just so it won’t be some huge shock if it happens. It’s kind of funny how our attitudes can change so drastically when we think we have an “end-by” date and nothing happens, I see so many women suddenly decide that they are DONE at their due date, even though physically nothing has changed!
Don’t fret, I should have my blackberry with me when we go to the hospital. I have access to twitter, facebook, and my blog from there, so at the very least there will be something on twitter, though likely I will post something in the blog. (Note that you do not have to be subscribed to twitter to read my latest tweets – they show up on the main page of this blog, above my posts. But if you do want to subscribe, just request it… I have it set to private to keep the creeps and spammers away from me!) The word will certainly get out. And since I plan to labor at home through early labor I’ll probably make it over to blog about it before heading in anyways. ;)
it’s been a while since i posted. mostly because i had my own little baby (boy) december 28 and between him and the other two…NUTS. but i’ve been following you since march 2008. i was home on maternity leave with my tiny newborn, came across your blog and wept. now, i read your blog and weep–only the tears have a different meaning. i’m so “proud” of you and the way you’ve navigated this journey with poise and courage without losing your way.
I am totally stalking you now, tell Kate shes late for me. My bday was the 15th, I was expecting her then. :P
<3
You don’t know me, but I feel like I know you. I have been a long-time lurker here. (It feels weird just typing that!) I am a real-life friend of Jamie’s at Sticky Feet Part Deux and have been a reader since Devin’s birth. I just wanted you to know that even thought I don’t “know” you, I am excited for Kate’s arrival and wish you all the best!
Jenny
Oh baby oh baby, consider yourself twitter stalked? ;) I completely respect the ‘baby comes when baby wants’ attitude – I was rewarded with a bang on time baby for it! *lol* And congrats on catching the wedding band before it got stuck – I didn’t… going to drag my happy arse to the jewellers sometime soon and get him/her to chop the lot off; I’ve been going mad not being able to take them off. ><
I am officially stalking you twice + times a day now!! lol
This part is SO exiting! Before going to bed you just make sure everything is ready incase something happens,making plans but just remining yourself that you may go into labour before then,going to apointments and saying goodbye with a “this may be my last one!” etc
When it suddenly hits you that it could happen at any moment,its sooooooooooo exiting!! :)
Take loads of pics..you will be so glad that you did ;) If nothing happens tonight,I´ll see you tommorow..if it does,good luck and ELV´s hun!! :)
I love how you write, so I have been following your story for sometime (hopefully that doesn’t sounds creepy! LOL) I usually do not comment, but wanted to say that I am so excited for you! Birthing my little girl was the most exciting thing I have ever experienced! Congrats! :)
I wuld be embaressed to admit how many time a day I check on you and Kate, but leats say its mor than once and (sometimes) less than 5 !!
Just a thought, don’t want to give asvice, have you thought of a Tenns machine for your back pain , I wore one on and off the last two weeks of my 41 1/2 week pregnancy, ahhh relief !!!
*points at this* Tens machine = awesome. I didn’t use one until labor itself, but it definitely provided some relief. :)