A request
For someone who has had a previous loss, the thought of twins is not a pleasant one. Having a singleton is risky enough – I’ve already lost one. The thought of two gives me flat out anxiety attacks. It is not fun, it is not cute, it is not exciting; it is fucking terrifying. So please, if you could hold back on the twin comments, I would really appreciate it – I’m trying to reduce the stress in my life. Whatever people think or do not think will not change the outcome, and we will find out in two weeks. If it is twins you can then say “I told you so.” (Though I advise against it, as you may instead need to gently escort me to a padded room for my own safety.)
Edited to add: Just in case anyone misconstrues what I mean… This is of course a “for me” situation – I know lots of friends who would LOVE to have twins, and I think that is awesome and I hope they get what they want. Twins are not a terrible thing, it’s just not what I want for my life.
hey there,
i know it probably wont make you feel any better but your numbers seem to be that of a singleton. either way no matter what the outcome you will be a great mommah!
wish you the best!
I don’t blame you. It’s been driving me batty for you. ;)
I’m so excited for you all! It gives me hope that IVF will be the ticket for us!
Stacey, people ask me how I can go through cycle after failed cycle of IVF, with the needles and the exams and the surgeries. It’s never been hard for me… because IVF gives me hope, gives us this chance. I truly hope it works for you too.
I totally think you’re just having one. I get what you’re saying about the whole twin thing. A lot of people think it is a huge blessing to have twins, especially if you have struggled to get pregnant but it is also very scary, especially if you don’t want in any way to have 2 at once.
I had almost the exact same numbers and I had a singleton. I am totally on board with the twin thing–so not for me.
It is a pleasure always to read your posts, but lately it has been wonderful too. Your excitement is so clear.
I really hope you get what you want, fwiw, I think the chances are much higher that there’s only one on board. I think your betas are strong, and don’t indicate things one way or the other so don’t worry if people are reading into them. I also do understand the desire not to have twins- when we first starting TTCing, I so felt the same way! I couldn’t imagine raising 2 at once and it terrified me. (But for what it’s worth, 3 years later I wanted twins desperately, and was lucky enough to get them.)
when my friend got pregnant with her twins…(she had to give birth to her baby at 16 weeks because the heartbeat had stopped at 15 weeks) and when she got pregnant after(twins run in her family) her numbers were of 3000something at 4 weeks and more than doubled 2 days later and 2 weeks later she had an u/s and yup there was 2…so your numbers dont sound like twins… i know ive mentioned it before..not because i was trying to upset you or anything just because i was/am so excited for you. For that i am sorry.
I am also sorry for bringing it up..you know I want the world for you and Den..and I totally understand your worries…a take home baby is all I ever hope for for you guys!
I’m keeping my fingers crossed that you get all that you want.
Nat, my hubby and I are RIGHT there with you on the twin-phobia thing. We were against the idea from the start, when we first did IVF, and really threw our clinic for a loop when we insisted on transferring one embryo. Now that we’ve lost that healthy, low-risk singleton pregnancy to a ridiculous cord accident, the fear of twins is even stronger. Like you, we stayed committed to the plan to transfer one as long as there seemed a reasonable chance that it would work. Anyway, I have everything crossed that you will see ONE beautiful heartbeat on Oct 5. :)
I too am hoping that you get what you want.
*hug*
It’s a hard balancing act – to have to feel fear of twins, when most people would be over-the-moon. Our original pregnancy was twins and not a singleton – and upon hearing it I almost died. We were high risk already – 83% of singleton pregnancies didn’t make it full term and now we were having TWINS? No thank you.
A week later we lost one of them – and it was bittersweet, guilty relief when I thought…maybe now we have a fighting chance, instead of no chance at all at either one of the making it.
I am wishing you a safe and joyous pregnancy, no matter the outcome Nat.
I never got the idea that you hated the thought of two babies at once, just the idea that they are much harder on a person to gestate. I personally was hoping for a singleton for you because of the risk factors. I have to say that I am so happy for you at this point and am keeping everything crossed for a take home little one.
I never got the idea that you hated the thought of two babies at once, just the idea that they are much harder on a person to gestate. I personally was hoping for a singleton for you because of the risk factors. I have to say that I am so happy for you at this point and am keeping everything crossed for a take home little one. (Oops I accidentally posted as anon. above so I reposted)
totally understandable. My daughter passed away in July and I have had those comments, “well, maybe you will have two next time!” With my history of three miscarriages and preterm labor, that makes me panic too. We just want one healthy pregnancy and baby.
oh and can I just say that when I checked on your blog last week and I saw that pic of the pregnancy test, it was like I was holding my breath and exhaled a sigh of relief and of course…happiness for you. :)
I totally understand your wants and your anxiety. I really hope that you get want you want and that things go just textbook perfect all the way…