Relaxing Doesn't Make Babies

My body does its own thing

April 9, 2009 — 2:19 am

I have to say, right now I’m not all that concerned. What I realized is that even if pregancy tests were getting darker like I wanted, that’s no guarantee that I wouldn’t miscarry. And even if the line stays light, I could still have a perfectly normal pregnancy. Yeah, it would help me feel better for the moment. But I’m searching for a guarantee, and there just isn’t one. The sooner I can let that go, the better.

But beyond that, my body is doing a damn good job of convincing me I am pregnant. I feel a little light-headed when I stand up after being sitting or laying down for a while. My abs feel tight, as if I’ve been working them (and, trust me, I haven’t). I have a light headache tonight, and did last night too. My boobs feel a little sore. And the big one? I don’t want chocolate.

When I arrived here at my parents we went shopping and I bought a bunch of Canadian chocolate – and proceeded to eat it all. This is typical for me. But I realized that over the past week I have gone from eating every chocolate in sight to not eating any of it. I bought a Coffee Crisp and an Aero, and both had one bite taken out of them and then were left sitting on the counter for days. Today I saw the Aero sitting there so I grabbed some just out of habit. I took a bite and… umm… yeah…. it kind of tasted like… mud. Or something. Just blah. Definitely not something delicious and craving-worthy.

And the thing is, I hardly touched chocolate at all during my entire pregnancy with Devin. It’s not that it made me sick… it just tasted like crap. I hardly expected that very strange symptom to return for round two, but here we are. Guess that is one thing that is going to stay the same.

This is the exciting part, for me – finding out how this pregnancy will unfold similar to and different from my first one. I’ve been looking forward to this for a very long year. As some of the initial fear quietens in the continued presence of undeniable symptoms, I feel more and more happy.

I’m pregnant, and it feels fucking wonderful.

30 responses to “My body does its own thing”

  1. Sally says:

    You both look fantastic. Congratulations again, as I may never be able to say it enough.

  2. Bridg says:

    Absolutely beautifully, disgustingly happy. Awesome.

  3. Kel says:

    I’ll take that Coffee Crisp & Aero if you don’t want them… Gosh, I miss those, LOL.

  4. Lauren says:

    awwwww *sniff sniff* , you are both beautiful!

  5. AmyE says:

    I’m SOOOO thrilled for you! You both look so happy and beautiful! Love the belly pic too.

  6. Delenn says:

    You two look wonderful and happy. Congrats.

  7. Sara says:

    There are smiles in both your eyes. What a beautiful photograph. Thanks so much for sharing.

    All my best to you on your new journey.

  8. Marie says:

    How amazing do both of you look! You already have that rockin’ pregnancy glow!! Lots of love and prayers for you guys!!

  9. Kari says:

    That’s a lovely pic. Thank you for sharing. I’m so happy for you!

  10. Lyanna says:

    Nat, that picture is so lovely. It’s how I’ve wanted you both to look for a long time.

    Your great news made my entire week. Hell, it made my month. Now only 8 months more to go and again we’ll be with you every step of the way, even though you are across that big pond.

    *big teary hugs*

  11. Fiddle1 says:

    BEYOND excited for you. I cry when I read each of your posts.

  12. Debbie says:

    What a great picture and I love the hair!!

  13. Cori says:

    You are glowing!

  14. Janet says:

    Congratulations again!!! What a beautiful picture of you and Den!!! You have an amazing gift with the way you write…….absolutely beautiful!

  15. Kim says:

    Nat I love the picture of the both of you!!!! You guys look sooo happy!

  16. Jessy says:

    I am a bit of a lurker (2 years) but I just had to say, you two look WONDERFUL! Happy. Awesome picture.

  17. Me says:

    Your last sentence made me crack a huge grin. :)

  18. Amber Nicole says:

    You two look so happy, and you both deserve it! I’m so excited for you, and glad you are enjoying your pregnancy!

    Your picture just fills my heart with warm fuzzies! LOL!

  19. serenity says:

    you go with the zen, girl.

    xxx

  20. Kim says:

    You have a twinkle in your eyes again. So happy for you that things are looking up. Best wishes for a long and uneventful pregnancy!

  21. Sarah Lynn says:

    Congratulations to you Nat! I wish you & Den the best. :)

  22. kristen says:

    Another longtime reader delurking to say congratulations! I am ecstatic for you both and so glad that you can live in the moment and be thrilled to be pregnant right now. Thanks for sharing the photo — it’s wonderful to see the twinkle in both of your eyes.

  23. Anne says:

    you look so happy and beautiful. congratulations to you two!

  24. Heather says:

    You look fabulous!!! I am so happy for you, and I think about you every day!!

  25. tash says:

    You look pretty fucking wonderful, too!

  26. Erica Douglas says:

    I’m so excited for you both. Great pic!

  27. Seaphim says:

    I LOVE this pic! and congratulations!

  28. Mary aka Soraya says:

    My home pregnany test did the exact same line thing…but I just knew. Its a feeling…I get what you are saying on it all.

    I’m so happy for you! Best Wishes!

    Oh – and you both look wonderful in the picture – you should print that out and put it in a frame!

  29. Kristi says:

    btw… I am LOVING your hair!!! so cute!

  30. Cynthia says:

    its so beautiful to see you both happy..after all you both have endured over the past year…i am so happy for you also..congrats again xo