We knew this wouldn’t be easy
And we have blood. Small, large? I don’t know. More than a spot, less than a gush. Enough to soak my panty liner. I wasn’t too surprized. It actually didn’t seem weird at first, and then I realized I’m supposed to be pregnant right now, not bleeding. Then I stared and wondered what the fuck to do.
I’ve been worried from the start. Those damn tests. I know people keep saying they mean nothing, but still. It just didn’t feel right. (I did take another one tonight – darker than the last one. Just to reassure me that, at this moment in time, I am still pregnant.) And then my sinus thing cleared up yesterday. I wondered, but again, who knows what that really means, right? I feel a heaviness in my abdomen tonight.
I know there is still a chance that things are fine and will continue normally. But I’ve seen enough to realize how common miscarriages are and that I am likely heading towards one. I’m mentally preparing myself for that inevitability, and for FET#2.
In a way I’m a little relieved – if I’m going to lose it, let me lose it now, early, before we get too far in. I can handle this, and at least I know I can get pregnant again.
I feel a little disconnected. I’m not freaking out calling the doctor. I know there’s nothing they can do or say, but just wait and see. That’s all anyone can do at this point. Wait and see what the morning comes.
Another night not knowing what tomorrow will bring.
My heart just sank….. big time.
You are so very brave.
I hope that it isn’t what you think it is.
Hugs
S X
Y’all are in my thoughts!
If it’s any help at all, I bled (sometimes bright red, sometimes pink, sometimes brown) from the time I was 5 weeks pregnant until I was 8 weeks pregnant. My son is now going on 7 months old.
I am praying for you and praying that your baby stays put, safely snuggled inside your belly.
You are so brave, Natalie, stay strong and remember that we are all with you in this.
:(
You know, I’m still keeping my hopes up. So there!
As PunkRockChic said, it can happen and the pregnancy still stay snug inside you for you to deliver a gorgeous bouncing healthy baby in 8 or so months.
I understand your nervousness, trust me I do. My last one I believed for 3 days after my first sign of spotting that perhaps, just maybe it could still stick, I NEEDED those 3 days of hope.
I pray you get those days of hope but I also pray that you DON’T need them because everything will be fine.
xxx
oh Natalie, my stomach just went in knots. Hang in there, I know I haven’t gone through what you have, but I did bleed for 2 days with my pregnancy and everything was ok. I just hope with all my heart it will turn out for the better.
Dammit. Not an auspicious sign for sure, but it could just be “implantation” bleeding. Didn’t I remember this with Devin? Are you on progesterone supplements?
The not knowing and waiting part is the worst. Hang in there. I’m still holding hope strong for you guys.
xxx
Oh sweetie – my stomache just sank when I read that..I hope that it is nothing…way to stay level headed and not freak out – I am not sure where you get your strength from but its amazing!
I too had bleeding in all of my healthy pregnancies. Always sometime between weeks 4-6. Hoping this info can help lighten the uncertainess.
Please stick baby. Please?!
Are you on progesterone?
I have been pregnant 6 times and only have 2 babies. I had a ton of miscarriages, one of which was at 5 months old. Anyway, in my 2 successful pregnancies I bled from the time I found out I was pregnant until I saw the heart beating. I know how you feel about this, but keep strong and know that bleeding happens quite more than you think in pregnancies! Maybe its just late implantation bleeding….I am keeping hope for you! Stay strong! ((HUGS))
Amber
I’m still praying for you Nat! I hope that everything is just settling in for the long haul!!!
After my IVF but before my scheduled beta I had bleeding (just like you described) and cramping. I felt terrible because I was POSITIVE I was not pregnant. My husband told me to take a OTC pregnancy test just to be sure. It was the most difficult thing I ever did (I had been avoiding pee sticks altogether). But my stick looked just like your first ones did: very light, but a line! And lo and behold, it WAS implantation bleeding! So don’t lose faith yet. It is very scary, true, but like you said: you are pregnant NOW. I’m holding on tight to hope for you that all goes well. *hug*
I hope it isn’t what it seems it is. I hope hope hope that all is still okay. Thinking good thoughts for you.
((HUGS))
Hugs you tight and hard. Tight and hard.
I know there’s nothing I can say to reassure or comfort you right now. All I can say is that I’m still here, hoping with everything I’ve got.
I had spotting with Amelia. Just like you described. Terrifying.
Hoping it’s just a wee bit of implantation bleeding making it’s way out. Or that you now have a sensitive cervix. Or something.
Lots of love, Nat.
This doesn’t have to be bad – I know that is hard to believe given the past and how you’ve been burned before.
Hoping and sending all my best wishes this is just a little blip in the road on the way to a very happy event in your near future.
{{hugs}}
Do you bleed more after you do a lot of walking? Or sex? Because I bled like crazy during my 1st tri, and it was determined to be cervical erosion (a blister on my cervix).
Drink lots of water and put your feet up. And watch movies or tv shows that make you happy and take your mind off things. It’ll be okay, Nat.
Fingers crossed for you!
I am SO sorry! I hope it is nothing, just harmless spotting.
Just a suggestion, I know you are familiar with temping. You could start temping till you get home at least just for reassurance. If your temps stay high you’ll know your probably in the clear.
I bled a lot during my pregnancy. Scary bright red bleeding, and sometimes it was enough to soak a pad. They never really found a reason. I’m hoping beyond hope that this is the same for you. Rest and try not to drive yourself crazy with worry…I know much easier said than done.
Here from lfca
I’m sorry this is so hard, Natalie. I can only imagine how stressful this all is. I’m not trying to be a pollyanna, but we’ve both known women who’ve bled throughout their pregnancies and ended up being just fine. I know that’s probably not much consolation to you, but it keeps me feeling hopeful that this will still work out.
Praying for you and your little bean. XOXO
Thinking of you and Den Natalie!
I’m sorry Nat! I’ll be thinking and praying for you. I had bleeding and cramping early in this pregnancy and I’m currently 33 weeks. It could be your little bean snuggling in nice and tight. Keeping my fingers crossed for you.
I had quite a bit of bleeding- even with clots- duringmy first pregnancy which the doctor said was quite common. Hang in there…
Here from L&F. Thinking of you, and hoping for the best.
on a good note i bled at week 6, 7 9 and 18 with my pregnancy…there was no cause just happens sometimes i was told.. my ds is now 19 mos…try not to stress soo much.. i know easier said than done