Relaxing Doesn't Make Babies

Now how I envisioned this weekend.

April 6, 2009 — 11:42 am

I felt pretty good last night. Still not ready to really say I was pregnant, but pretty confident… my body certainly feels it. I got up at 4am to take another test (early on purpose that time – so that I could tell Den the happy news before he left for the airport). And the line was freaking barely visible. I said WTF. And then I started panicking. That is not how I pictured my morning going.

4am no stores are open here. Nothing. I had to wait several hours for any drug stores or Walmart. I fell aleep and had a bad dream about buying tests and being chased by people. (Yeah, that was great.)

I borrowed mom’s car to drive to the store, ended up buying both a Clearblue Digital and a Clearblue +/- test. I avoid the +/- tests like the plague, but I needed to see some kind of line on a different brand, and we’re short on options here.

I took three tests at once… my last FRER and the two Clearblues. Fucking FRER was lighter than before (I am not a fan of the brand, let me tell you). The blue dye test had an obvious, but not very dark, line.

And then I waited. And waited. The little image blinked on the digital. There I knelt, crouched over my little pee sticks like a mother hen, wondering what the HELL I was going to do if that digital said not pregnant.

It stopped blinking.

I cried.

I think I’m pregnant.

96 responses to “Now how I envisioned this weekend.”

  1. Kelly says:

    TOTAL TEARS!!!! Like hard ones! You had me on the edge of my couch reading this post! I”M SO HAPPY! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. tash says:

    AWESOME. Really, really great news N!! (eep!)

  3. Camille says:

    Hi there,
    I’ve been a lurker for a long time but wanted to say congratulations!!! i’m so so excited for you!

  4. KC says:

    yay!! that’s what i’m talking about!!! love the digitals. i had similar experience with first response and they SUCK. OMG OMG OMG. i’m so happy, so friggin happy!

  5. nkc says:

    Nat – I want to cry for you and Den, I am SO happy.

    My first time commenting, but a long time reader.

  6. Mrs.Spit says:

    Congratulations!

  7. Rachel says:

    I’m so relieved. Time to throw away the cheap pee-sticks and stick with the yes/no type.

  8. Nat says:

    Rachel – I suspect you may be right!

  9. Heather says:

    I am so incredibly happy for you! Congratulations!

  10. Mary says:

    WOW! I have read your blog for a while now. I found it while searching for infertility information online. I have never left a comment before as I have always felt like I have not dealt with these issues nearly as long as you have had to and I could not possibly understand what you are feeling. Now, today, I sit in my little cube at work and I have to try and stop the tears. Words cannot express how happy I am for you both. What a wonderful trip home!

  11. Delenn says:

    Oh fucking hell!!! What a trip to have to be on! Glad you did that digital–you are preggers!!! Woot!!!

  12. Lyanna says:

    Ok, goosebumps as big as chickenpox and lots of tears here – I am thrilled for the both of you. I hope you are doing ok with this, it’s what you hoped for and at the same time I can imagine the fear and anxiety.

    *big big bearhug*

  13. Kristina says:

    YAY YAY YAY!!! YAY, I tell you!

  14. Tracy says:

    Another longtime lurker surfacing to say how happy I am for you! I don’t think I’ve ever been this excited for a total stranger. Congratulations!!!!!

  15. Courtney says:

    Yay!!! Congrats again!

  16. Becky says:

    HOOOOOORRRRAAY!!!

  17. Marie says:

    SO FREAKING HAPPY!!!! Happy tears for you Nat!!!!!!

  18. Cori says:

    Congratulations! So very happy for you and Den!

  19. Amber Nicole says:

    Oh gosh Natalie. I am sitting here at my desk at work, and CRYING. I am so, so, so filled with joy for you and Den. <3 <3

  20. Crystal says:

    Congrats!!!!! You totally deserve this. Glad the digital confirmed it!!!

  21. OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Natalie – I cant believe it! I am soo happy for you!!! After everything I knew it would work for you! What did your husband say before he left?

  22. Nat says:

    Hubby is hopeful, but terrified!!

  23. JuliaS says:

    Oh Natalie!!

    Lots of hugs and happy tears . . .

  24. Lauren says:

    I am crying for you Nat. REally I am so happy for you and Den. I am so happy that you get to have a child to raise and love. I wish i could give you a big hug.

  25. vhmprincess says:

    that is awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  26. Marjolein says:

    Normally I just lurk, but I really need to come out and say congratulations!!! That is absolutely wonderful news! :) I hope everything will continue to go so well for you (you certainly deserve it).

  27. Danielle says:

    Congrats! I’m so happy to see that beautiful digital!

  28. Hope says:

    Congrats Nat!! I’m so happy for you and Den!!

  29. nikkiana says:

    /me shrieks loudly!

    Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

  30. erin says:

    when you said you were so tired i was thinking…. this is it, but i didnt want to say anything.

    congratulations nat! <3

  31. Jaci says:

    Isn’t it funny how much weight the word “Pregnant” on those digital tests can lift off your spirit? Even when you know deep down even the slightest line means the same thing, seeing that word really does help.

    I’m so happy for you, I’ve been thinking about you all night and all day today.

  32. Rachel says:

    Coming out of the woodwork to say congratulations!

  33. Ali says:

    gratz hun *snuggles all around* we are thrilled for you

  34. Tanya says:

    so very happy for you! : )

  35. Crystal says:

    Lurker creeping out to say a HUGE Congrats!!!!!!! OMG, I’m sitting here crying for you guys! I have followed you since baby Devin was born, and have cried many tears before out of sadness, but I can’t stop smiling for you today. I’m so happy for you, and am crying MANY tears of joy. Congrats Natalie and Den, you soooo deserve this!!!

  36. Marnie says:

    Nothing could make my day more than this news. I am so thrilled for you and Den. Finally something in this world is right. Congratulations Natalie!

  37. T-Girl says:

    I really have no words, just lots of tears, AT WORK!
    Congratulations Nat, Den and Devin (He sure is behind all this!)

  38. PunkRockChic says:

    CONGRATULATIONS!!! That is SUCH awesome news! I am so excited for you =)

  39. Laura says:

    I am crying!! I am so ecstatic for you!!!!

  40. Janet says:

    cannot even tell you how happy I am for you……so happy Den will be there too!! I’m almost crying I’m so happy!!!!

  41. Lannie says:

    Enciente, what a beautiful word :D Congratulations sweetie, I’m totally happy for you :)

  42. Virginia says:

    WOO HOO!

    And now… my turn to fret and see if I catch!

    *snuggles*

  43. stacie says:

    I am just so happy for you. I’m all teary for you, too!

  44. Anonymous says:

    Awesome! I’m so very very happy for you. I don’t trust FRER anymore either. The day of my beta after I had tested positive for 3 days I got two completely negative FRER tests and thought I had miscarried. I broke down and my DH had to run to Walgreens at 6am to get more tests. There was not even the faintest of lines on those FRERs but my beta was 68…so I will not use those ever again. Love the look of your digital!

  45. Dee says:

    Wanted to say CONGRATS again!!!! So Very Very Happy for You and Your Husband!!!!

  46. Sarah says:

    Nat, that is SO wonderful! Chris and I are so very, very excited for you and Den. I’ve been checking your journal every hour or so all morning hoping you’d have an update :).

  47. nishkanu says:

    Came over from the LFCA to say congrats and good luck with the roller coaster of emotions which is likely to follow!

  48. Raychel says:

    Congrats sweetheart. I love you.

  49. sarah redman says:

    Yay!! I have been lurking for a while and this is what I’ve been waiting for!!!! I am so happy for you.

  50. Hannah says:

    I’m so happy for you! Beyond happy! Congratulations!

  51. Becky says:

    SO, so happy for you, I am waving my hands around like a two year old !!! Hurray !!

  52. Ben says:

    Congratulations to the both of you!

    Also, I’d be confused/annoyed/curious if I was seeing such faint second lines, too — glad you’ve got more confirmation of the good news.

  53. Zeefje says:

    Wow, I think you’re pregnant too! Fantastic! Congrats to the both of you. Very curious to hear what your beta is..

    I’m wondering if I’ve ever left a reply before? Followed your blog since 2007

    Zeefje

  54. Susan says:

    Yay, I am SO happy for you! I can’t wait to hear the beta results. I had faint lines for a while with my pregnancy and I am home right now with my 10 day old son. Sometimes it is just the dye in the test. Trust the digital and go get that beta! Congratulations!

  55. Busted says:

    Oh, sweetie, I am SOO happy for you! I’m sure there are a ton of mixed emotions right now but just hang on to this moment and know we are all wishing for many, many more happy ones to come in the next nine months. YAY!!!!

  56. KnKMom says:

    Honey, stop thinking…..YOU ARE PREGNANT! And I am so thrilled for you!

  57. Jen says:

    How overjoyed was your mom? I bet she was beside herself. So perfect and wonderful to have this happen while you are visiting your family so they can share in the love, joy and hope of it all.

    Hugs you tight
    jen

  58. Diana says:

    I have read your blog since way back when you lived in Canada but have only commented once or maybe twice. Congratulations – I am so happy for you. My daughter has been trying to get pregnant for a long time – I know there is hope for her!! Best wishes to you and Den

  59. Kari says:

    I am so, so happy for you!!!

  60. curlimama05 (Kelly) says:

    Beautiful. : ) I’ve never seen a more beautiful BFP. Time to start taking belly pics, Nat! I wish I’d been more diligant with that!

  61. michelle says:

    I am so happy for you. This restores a little of my faith in the universe. Congratulations!!!!

  62. Kate says:

    I am thrilled for you!! I am so happy – like one of my best friends just got pregnant or something! But I don’t even know you!! Weird! It’s just that I have been following your blog, and I wanted this for you so much. Congratulations to you and your husband!

  63. Kim says:

    Congrats!! I have been lurking for a while but so happy to hear the news. Wanted to let you know that I had a similar situation with my current pregnancy where my FRER tests were positive on one package and then the next day (new package) the line was GONE! I freaked out and like you went out to buy all the other brands. I am currently 36 weeks so obviously it was a real line and they looked just like yours. Congrats again!

  64. Bobbi says:

    Lurker here! HOLY CRAP NATALIE!!! I’m SO freaking excited for you! I’m siting at work crying!! CONGRATS!!!!!

  65. Lindsay says:

    CONGRATUALTIONS!!! I have a lump in my throat I am so happy for you. I have been following your blog for a bit and now quite a few of my friends do as well. I think its safe to say that everyone could not be more happy if they tried for you!!

  66. Sarah Lynn says:

    OMG! I am so happy for you, if anyone deserves this, it’s you Nat!

  67. Kristine says:

    CONGRATS!!!! How exciting. I hope you can keep all of your fears down (I couldn’t…I was a freak the entire pregnancy of my daugher) and enjoy this magical time. My thoughts and prayers are with you and Den! How exciting. I couldn’t be happier for you!!!!

  68. Jennifer says:

    That is some amazing news! I have been following for a long time and hopeful for you! There are tears in my eyes in absolute excitement for a couple I have never and will never actually know! Congrats and enjoy this little miracle!!!

  69. Sally says:

    I can’t put in to words how happy and relieved I am for you. I am wishing you nothing but good things for the next 8 or so months. Hang in there. With you every step of the way.

  70. Me says:

    YAY!!! I’m so delighted for you Nat!

  71. kim d says:

    YAY CONGRATS!!!!!! :D :D

  72. Claire says:

    Congratulations to you and Den!

  73. CLC says:

    Yay, I am so excited for you! Congrats to you and Den!

  74. YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

  75. Missy says:

    So so so so SO happy for you!

  76. Liv says:

    Congratulations Natalie!!! Absolutely wonderful!

    I’m here via Melissa @ Infertility Journey to Motherhood. Although I think I may have run accross your blog via a S&T once. Anyway, I’m very happy for you!

  77. panamahat says:

    Congratulations!

  78. Drew's Mom says:

    Congratulations! I have been praying for this day for you, since I read your story from Kel.

  79. Kim says:

    Congratulations!

  80. michele says:

    CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!

  81. Debbie says:

    Longtime lurker coming out to say big congratulations to you! You have many people who are wishing you guys the best.

  82. Jay says:

    Congrats! This is long overdue for you and your hubby. Wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy and birth of this little bean.

  83. Sarah says:

    I’ve been “lurking” and just reading your blog for a long time, but I just wanted to congratulate you and your husband. I am tearing up reading this post and wish you the very best!

  84. loribeth says:

    Catching up on blog reading, & wanted to add my belated congrats!!

  85. Emerald Rose says:

    I didn’t get online yesterday, so have only just seen this. YAY! I got the same exact line on my Clearblue +/- test, so I understand the doubting at first. YAY!

  86. Danielle says:

    OMG Nat, you dont know me, but i am sooooo beyond happy for you. Congrats

  87. Barefoot says:

    Congratulations! Such exciting news. Glad you finally got a definitive pee-stick answer. :)

  88. nishkanu says:

    Man, those pee tests are truly EVIL. But still: hooray!

  89. Mrs. M says:

    Hey There, saw your great news on LFCA, congratulations that’s wonderful news!!

  90. LIsa DG says:

    Where the heck have I been all this time???? Not a very good bloggy friend. I am so excited I am bouncing of the wall! Bravo! Yippie! Good Deal! Now I need to catch up on EVERY detail….