Relaxing Doesn't Make Babies

3am is a mindtrip

April 5, 2009 — 7:39 pm

I couldn’t sleep at all. I tried to force myself to sleep. At 3am I gave in.

And I said W.T.F.?? It was negative. But then… maybe something? I tilted it every which way, feeling like I was really trying too hard. I went back to bed and vowed to take another one after I actually slept. (I kept checking it every half an hour to make sure the shadow-line hadn’t disappeared. I kept it stashed under my pillow.)

10am, another one. Same thing.

So I spent the day in a kind of limbo. Is it a shadow? Is it a line? Am I going batshit crazy?

Is it, maybe….??

REQUEST: If you know me on Facebook, please don’t say anything there, we’re not telling family yet.

97 responses to “3am is a mindtrip”

  1. Gail says:

    Girl, that is a BFP!!!! CONGRATS!!!!! I know today was Devin’s EDD, what a gift to get! I have tears in my eyes for you!

  2. missingone says:

    Yup. That’s a BFP! congrats!

  3. PunkRockChic says:

    That is DEFINITELY a second line!!!!! That’s how my test looked when I found out I was pregnant with my son. I actually didn’t believe there was really second line either, so I went out and got a digital test. Less than 30 seconds after dipping the digital test in the cup, it beeped and said POSITIVE. I’ve been following your blog for a few months now and am sooooooo excited for you! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!

  4. Sue says:

    That is most definitely a second line!

    OMG!

  5. jaded says:

    it looks like the real deal to me~

  6. There is definitely a second line! And the 10am one is darker than the 3am. Congratulations!

  7. Amber Nicole says:

    OMG NATALIE!!!!!!!!!!!

    YOU’RE PREGNANT!!!!!

    I am so happy for you, I can’t even explain…..oh my gosh!!!

    Congratulations Natalie and Den!!!

    <3 <3

  8. Jamie says:

    It’s a line! :)

    Now I can’t wait until you can get home and have your beta!!

  9. Sally says:

    Oh I see it! Took me a second, but then BAM, its there!! Oh wow, I’m just beyond excited for you. Cautiously excited, but excited all the same. Keep us posted.

  10. tash says:

    It’s definitely maybe.

  11. Nia says:

    It’s a POSITIVE!
    Personally, I don’t like FR tests, they always give me very faint + lines. Go get a digital ASAP or Equate from Walmart.
    Either way, you are PREGNANT! Congratulations!

    Have a happy and healthy 9 months!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  12. Steph says:

    A lurker here chiming in – my very-faint-shadow-of-a-line-baby turns 6 tomorrow! My test looked EXACTLY like that. CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!

  13. Beck says:

    OMG GIRL THAT IS A LINE!!!!!

    Congratulations I am so happy for you! Chris is looking at me like I’m crazy because I started clapping, dancing and crying at the same time. CONGRATULATIONS AGAIN!

  14. Rachel says:

    I definitely see a line. I really hope this is the one for you. Definitely keeping my fingers crossed.

  15. christina says:

    Simply, tears.

  16. Jennifer says:

    I’m going to be the killjoy here and say that I get the faint line all the time and it doesn’t signify anything different for me. I am hopeful that is not the case for you though.

    I should email you this week. I want to talk to you.

  17. Valerie says:

    I definetly see a line. Hope it sticks!

  18. Nat says:

    Hey Jenn, that sucks!! I never ever see anything on my HPTs… and I’ve taken many of them over the years. LOL Only one that ever had anything were when I was pregnant with Devin. So this is significant for me!

    Email away. I’m here. :)

  19. Kari says:

    That is a line!!! Oh, Nat, I am hoping so hard that you get real confirmation soon!

  20. Tricia says:

    I am usually a lurker but I wanted to chime in…that is DEFINITELY a second line and I couldn’t be happier for you!

  21. Lauren says:

    That is definitely a second line. OMG Natalie!!! I am so excited!!!!

  22. Crystal says:

    I have been a lurker here following your story. You are an inspiration. There is most definitely a positive line and you deserve it more than anything!

  23. Cynthia says:

    omg you’re pregnant!!!!! thats is DEFINATELY a second line..omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg…finally.. i am soooo happy for you…you know what it was definately meant to be.. you are going to be a mommy…(well you already are…but you know what i mean) YAY.. i am sooo excited for you..this is just sooo amazing…congrats..happy and healthy 9 months..

  24. Carbon says:

    A line is a line, and its about time! Super sticky vibes coming your way.

  25. Eden says:

    AHH!! It is!!!! It is so funny b/c mine was the exact same way. I always expected to be crying and uncontrollable getting a BFP, but then when we took our first test we had the same faint mark so we spent more time debating whether or not there was really a line instead of just soaking it up and getting sooo excited!!!! We took one in the afternoon and I thought it wouldn’t be a line at all b/c it was not my morning urine, but sure enough it was darker and so was yours!!! Congrats!!!!

  26. Kristina says:

    I am so freaking excited for you!! BFP BABY!!

  27. kim d says:

    I’ve been following your blog for a few months (hope you don’t mind & don’t worry, I’m not a creeper or anything lol) and I feel so compelled to comment— that is a LINE! I totally see it!!!!!! And a line is a line, no matter how faint. I was praying soo hard for you and I had such a good feeling this time :D I absolutely think you’re pregnant, because if I remember correctly with your other tests, you were able to tell that they were BFN with no question. Plus, the chance of two faulty tests in a row is VERY slim…so I think this definitely means something! Can’t WAIT to see your beta & what happens, i am so excited for you both!!!!!

  28. laura says:

    that is a LINE! i got the same exact line 10dp3dt. it darkened and darkend and the baby is now 5mos old! :)

    it is a LINE i absolutely see it. YAY!

  29. N says:

    Not faint in the least, says I!

  30. Delenn says:

    I would try it on a digital, but that does look like a faint line there. Staying hopeful.

  31. Kelly says:

    3 words for you…

    You are pregnant!

    2 more words for you…

    GO DIGITAL!!

    There’s nothing better and more reassuring then a test saying “PREGNANT”

    Congratulations!!!!

    When is your beta?

  32. VHMPrincess says:

    That is a line my dear!!

  33. Kelly says:

    Too cute you put the test under your pillow!! :+)

  34. Katie says:

    Lurking for more than a year, with only a few comments this far….what a wonderful tho g to happen today. That’s a positive…congratulations!

  35. KC says:

    you didn’t do a trigger so that line is BABY!

  36. Lacie says:

    CONGRATULATIONS! I’m in tears! So, so very happy for you – that is definitely a BFP! *twirl* Super stickies coming your way!

  37. Laura says:

    OMG! Another longtime lurker coming out of the virtual shadows to say that I totally see that line and I am SOOOO thrilled for you!

  38. T-Girl says:

    I see it…. I sooooo hope this is it Nat!

  39. Karen says:

    You know I don’t say this lightly, Natalie-I definitely see a line. And I never see lines. I will keep my fingers crossed for your beta!

  40. Sarah says:

    Man, I really do see a line on both! Hope it gets darker tomorrow so you don’t have to drive yourself mad!! Congrats!

  41. kari says:

    I didn’t read everyone else’s comments, but I am a professional pee-on-a-sticker and that is without a doubt positive. From another baby-lost maman, I am so happy to see those pee sticks!

  42. Turia says:

    I lurk mostly (sorry). But I feel compelled to comment. That definitely looks like a line to me. And the one at 10am looks darker.

    I really really really hope it’s super dark tomorrow. I have been hoping for good news for you and Den for so long now.

  43. Leigh says:

    I see both lines too! Yay! So happy for you!!!!!!

  44. Jess says:

    I see it… Even if it is faint. But, I’m so scared to be hopeful. I want to be happy and have it be so bad… I hope that future tests show better more obvious results, cuz you SO are the best mom and should have a happy and healthy set of pregnancies! (Yeah, hope got the better of this note, cuz, well, why not more than one where you can take your babies home!)

  45. Tricia says:

    I have been checking your blog over and over for the past few days hoping for good news…and I’m so glad to see it! Congrats!!

  46. Danielle says:

    That is definately a BFP! Your blog from 2/28 said you were having a beta today. Did you do that? I’m hoping to see a digital soon and a nice big beta result! Keeping you in my prayers!

  47. Bridg says:

    Awesome (cue tears). Mine looked like that too and I nearly cleaned out the pharmacy retesting repeatedly to check! (that baby is 15 now and journery has been amazing). You’re on your way…

  48. shelby says:

    Definitely a second line there!! What great news!

  49. Dr. Grumbles says:

    I’d say that is a faint albeit real second line! Best of luck!

  50. Anonymous says:

    OMG! Congratulations! I definitely see the line. =)

  51. N/A says:

    That is a HUGE positive!!!! Congrats!

  52. Beck says:

    OMG girl that is POSITIVE!

    Congratulations to you and Den! I am so happy for you guys. Chris thinks I’m crazy over here cause I started clapping and dancing and crying at the same time.

    Congrats again. :)

  53. Kim says:

    I am a lurker, but have been following your story. That is DEF. a positive test. Congrats, I couldn’t be more happy for you.

  54. stacie says:

    I am so happy for you! What a glorious sight!

  55. Shannon says:

    Woohoo!!! Congrats! More tests, more tests! :o)

  56. Lyanna says:

    If that isn’t a positive I’m eating my new shoes. That’s a promise girl!!!!!

    Yay! Finally good news!!

  57. Andrea says:

    Nat, congratulations!!!! How we have all been hoping for you!!! See what a little relaxing can do? Don’t obsess and just enjoy the next 9 months and forever.

  58. Raychel says:

    OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!

    That is a line!

  59. Lannie says:

    I see a little second line for you there :D :D :D
    awesome sweetie :)

  60. Lyanna says:

    Ehm Andrea, that comment about “relaxing” is possibly the worst thing you can say to someone with a fertility problem. I don’t want to spoil the happiness around here, but telling her that relaxing helped almost points a finger at her saying she didn’t do things right the other times around.

    :(

  61. Dee says:

    I’m a lurker also, But wanted to say Congratulations!!!! I am So Happy For You!!!!

  62. Kristi says:

    Looks good to me! Congrats to you and Den!!!

  63. Melissa says:

    That’s a POSITIVE!! I literally have tears in my eyes. :)

    CONGRATULATIONS!

  64. Danielle says:

    This long-time lurker is definitely seeing a little second line there. Congratulations!

  65. Megan says:

    Natalie, I couldn’t read this time and not comment. I have been following your blog for over a year and am so so happy for you. :) When I saw those 2 photos I couldn’t help but smile. I am so happy for you both. :)

    Megan – Australia

  66. Leslee says:

    I see it!!! Congratulations!

  67. Kate says:

    Delurking to say it’s a total BFP!!!!

  68. Becky says:

    Delurking rt say Wow ! that literaly took my breath away ! I’m close to tears !!! BFP , Oh yea !

  69. Laura says:

    Nat-It’s Lalybro from LP. I’ve been lurking and following your blog for a while. I totally saw that other line and said out loud “oh my gosh! That’s 2 lines!!!” That’s how my test looked with this pregnancy and when I was pg with Audrey. This is so exciting!!! I’ve been praying and hoping for this for you!

  70. Ali says:

    oh wow! *huggles Nat and Den* that is so awesome! I am glad you get to share this news at your parents house. I think it will help you wonderfully with all the loving support your own family can give you. I know Den’s love you but there is nothing like a hug from your Mom!

    Congratz guys you really really really deserve this. I will keep ya’ll in our hearts and I know you don’t believe in praying but I will pray that you get this baby no matter what.

  71. Marie says:

    OMG!!!! THAT IS A GLARING POSITIVE!!! Nat, congratulations honey!!! I am so incredibly happy for you and Den! Lots of love and prayers for a safe, happy and NON EVENTFUL 9 months!!!!

  72. Jen says:

    That is a wonderful, amazing, beautiful sight.

    hugs and love you sweetheart

  73. Kate says:

    YEA!!!! That sure looks positive to me!!!!!! Congratulations to you! *happy dance*

  74. abby stuart says:

    OMG!!! I’ve been readihg for over a year and keeping my fingers crossed. That is def a positive!! Congrats Congrats Congrats!!!!!!!

  75. OMG my LOVE – I see 2 lines!! I noticed them right away!!! OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEAH – I have been hoping and praying for you for this for soo long!

  76. Courtney says:

    Natalie!!! I’d say that’s a LINE!! I have a test that looks just like that from November ’07 and the “line” is crawling at my feet right now! I’ll be thinking of you!!

  77. serenity says:

    THAT?

    Is a line.

    xxx

  78. kRenee says:

    Oh, I totally see the line!! *major hugs*

  79. Katy says:

    YAYAYAYAYAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  80. Court says:

    Another lurker…just coming out of the woodwork to say congratulations!!!!

  81. Sarah says:

    Delurking here to say WOOT! That’s about the same positive I got with my daughter!! Hard to see, but there!
    Hoping very hard for this to be a dream coming true.

  82. jade says:

    I, too, must delurk to celebrate with you today. :) No doubt that is POSITIVE.

    If you hear squeals from the West End of Vancouver, that would be me. Yaaaaaaaaaaay!

  83. Emerald Rose says:

    Nat, I’m practically in tears here because I see two lines! Check again in a day or two, but there is a definite second line in both tests *HUGS*

  84. MW says:

    Congratulations!

  85. Shilpa says:

    Awesome, awesome news Nat!!!! I am so thrilled for you- it is YOUR TIME!!!

  86. Anonymous says:

    that looks just like how my positive test looked from my pregnancy! great!!!!

  87. Tracy says:

    Natalie! I just saw this!! WOW! Amazing!!!

  88. Ms. C says:

    That is definately a double line.
    I’m thinking of you today…

  89. Melissa says:

    Delurking to say congratulations!!!! Sending lots of good thoughts to you and Den.

  90. Elise says:

    That is most definitely a line, preggers!!!! Congratulations! I am just a lurker, but I’ve read your blog for quite some time and I have wanted this so badly for you. I know you will treasure every moment of it. I hope you will share this journey with us…I am really looking forward to the next nine months and beyond!

  91. waterbishop says:

    Definitely positive! Aaaahhhhhhh!

  92. karla says:

    That is a line!! Woot!!!

  93. Melissa says:

    OMG! There is so a 2nd line there…it’s a POSITIVE!!!! I’ve been reading your blog forever…I am so happy for you…like many of your other lurkers I have tears of joy in my eyes…you and Den so deserve this…I will thinking of you!

  94. Meike says:

    I’ve also been lurking for a while (got here through Lyanna and Lannie) but I really, really hope this is it, I’ve been checking your blog daily lately because I was hoping so much that you’d be pregnant, you really deserve it.. good luck and I’ll be checking again tomorrow! ;)

  95. L says:

    Hey! I’m a lurker from MLW and am soooooo happy for you guys!!! As a long time TTCer I don’t feel happy for other peoples BFP but I was estactic for you!!! Best wishes Nat!

  96. michele says:

    OMG! That absolutely looks positive to me!! That’s EXACTLY how mine looked with First Response at 9DPO. CONGRATULATIONS!!!

  97. Jenny says:

    Lurker here-just wanted to say CONGRATULATIONS I am sooo happy for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You definitely deserve this.