Where there is hope, there is fear
And suddenly, here it is. I start testing in the morning, and I am terrified. Not that I really expect a positive on 11dpo (last time I was testing negative until 13dpo), but it’s the fear of continued nothings.
I’ve never been in this place before. I’ve been in similar places, waiting to test – many with a lot of hope. But they all ended badly. The one cycle that ended well I had NO hope and no anticipation. So in a way my brain really can’t wrap around the possibility of this ending well. I spend all day imaginging it, clinging to it, believing it… but when night falls and that pregnancy test looms close, all I can ever imagine seeing is a plain white negative.
Apparently getting pregnant once doesn’t really lessen the fear that it will never happen again, like I had hoped.
I wish there was something I could do or say to make this time easier for you, to ease the stress. I can’t imagine how anxious you must be. There’s so many of us thinking of you!
I totally wish I could POAS for you and have it come up with your results, so you didn’t have to do anything but wait for to me to call and say – yep – I went potty and you’re pregnant!
Hope is scary. Luck and luv sweetie.
I hear you. Hugs and the hopes for the very best outcome for you.
xxx
Hope & Fear do go hand in hand. I’m thinking of you all week.
<3 Hoping with you.
I’m crossing my fingers for you.
yes, waiting just sucks. Nerves. Hopes. What if’s.