Amniotic Bands
I am doing research via Google on Amniotic Bands…. just reading.
Just a general article: Amniotic Bands and Sheets
An article from a 1953 Medical Journal about a similar incident: Neonatal Death due to Ligation of Umbilical Cord by an Amniotic Band
From the Archives of Pathology and Laboratory Medicine: Strangulation of the Umbilical Cord by Amniotic Band
From PubMed: Strangulation of the umbilical cord by amniotic bands: report of 6 cases and literature review
There’s so much more in those articles. Like these bands, they more often cause physical abnormalities by entangling limbs. There is also some mention of ultrasound identifying these bands, but I would imagine that would depend highly on how many there are, where they’re located, how much amniotic fluid is there, how big the baby is, etc etc etc. (No I still don’t blame anyone for this. Just making mental notes.)
It is so… weird… to have a definitive answer. I refused to google anything before this…. there were too many maybes and I didn’t want to drive myself crazy. So it’s weird to know, to look it up and know that’s what killed my baby. Another adjustment to my new reality.
::
Den’s having a rough time coming to terms with the results. We are both extremely relieved that there is nothing that will put me at higher risk the next pregnancy… but at the same time he is so angry right now. When I told him about the doctor’s call and what they had found and what a freak accident it was he just kind of sagged down to sit on the baby gate and looked at me with a dazed expression and said, very calmly, “I am really fucking angry.” He’s been back and forth between wrenching grief and anger all evening.
I’m just glad I can be here for him. I know men – at least my man – always feel this need to be the protector… to be the strong one and hold things together. I mean, while Den was crying tonight he looked at me and said, “I’m sorry I can’t be there for you.” And I asked him what he was talking about, because he’s always there for me. He replied that he meant right at that moment. He felt guilty for needing me to hold him tight, because that’s not the way it’s supposed to be. But what he doesn’t get is that it’s nice for me to be able to be the strong one once in a while… it makes me feel a little relieved, that I’m not the only one needing support. I can do something for him once in a while. Light knows I feel so useless sometimes, watching him be hurt and angry and knowing there’s absolutely nothing I can do.
I can imagine you must be angry. Such a freak thing … such a completely against all odds thing to happen, and it had to happen to you :(
The unfairness of life can be staggering sometimes, unbelievable. I’m glad you feel strong enough to be there for Den, and please tell him there’s nothing wrong with being the one who needs support for a change. That’s what marriage is about right, being there for one another, it’s a balanced thing. And it’s something you pull strength from too.
I love you both, and am crying all over again for the three of you.
Sounds just like my husband. So angry and hurt but wanting to protect. Be good to each other.
Let yourselves be angry. Grieve. Feel. You will absolutely never forget. You will never stop feeling empty. You lost a son. But the explanation for ur baby’s passing is the 1st step for both of you to have closure and continue on. My thoughts are with you and Den. Bella
I’m glad you were able to find a definitive answer but at the same time, I am just so sorry. You both have every right to be angry and to feel whatever you need to feel. This is the hardest thing I can imagine someone dealing with and it is so important that you both can step in and be there for each other. All my love to you. XOXO
anger is part of the grieving process, so feel it if you need to. it’s a natural reaction and emotion under the circumstances. it’s hard of course where there’s no way to direct it…
The anger and grief must be simply overwhelming. It amazes me that both of you are able to get out of bed every morning. It’s just all so horrible. Beyond horrible.
The only comfort in the results is that your body CAN handle a pregnancy. That this was such a freak accident that it just cannot happen again. And that it had nothing to do with your body.
Again, I am so sorry.
XOXO
As others have posted…allow yourselves to be angry. You have every right to be, because of something so rare. If you don’t allow yourselves to be angry, which is normal, you will never come to a place of peace or acceptance in the future. It took me a long time to come to angry with my m/c’s…and it held up the grieving for me for a long time.
In the long run, it will bring you peace knowing what cause Devin to become an angel too soon. It won’t comfort now…but, having an answer is important in the long run.
Wishing you peace and much support and love.
I am so sorry, and know a bit how you feel. Obviously my case is quite different (probably not an accident, who knows, some serious risks should we try again) but I get a lot of what you say here. I too like to google, and delve, and I often think I do it because that’s what Maddy is to me now — a medical problem. She’s not here to cuddle and feed and bestow gifts upon, so I google and read and pour over the pathology report. That’s all I have left. I was also always so amazed (!) by ultrasound technology, and everything they could do (we can see if blood is circulating through this organ! How big the heart is! If the brain is developing correctly!), and now I realize how overwhelmingly limited they are. They can’t tell if your baby is blind, or her white matter is liquified. And they can’t really see what the cord is doing — it always just looks like bubbles on the screen.
And here we are, angry, with no one to get mad at saving the universe and fate. Feel free to vent it here, it sure pisses me off. Or write some nasty letters to . . . whomever. I hate it when “Sh*t happens” means someone has to die for it. It’s tragic and unfair and infuriating. Hugs to you both.
I’m so sorry. I’m at a loss for words. It’s good that you are there for each other. Be strong and grieve. Sounds like an oxymoron, but it’s all I can say *hugs*
I’m so sorry! i’m so glad you both are so open with your feelings with each other and can lean on each other during this tragic time! I’m so sad and angry with you! HUGS! Big ones! xoxo
i’m so sorry. lots of love to you.
I am not a cryer but this post just broke my heart and the tears are flowing and I feel so awful that you guys have to go through this. It’s okay to be angry, hurt, frustrated, and it’s also okay to laugh, too.
I’ve been looking at this Nat, and trying to think of which blogger had problems with amniotic bands…and I just remembered one.
http://coolerdoula.blogspot.com/
She is currently pregnant, and her son, I believe had an amniotic band wrap around his hand and cause severe malformations. He lived, and they are trying to deal with his hand issues. Her current pregnancy is going well, (and I hope that gives you some hope!), so be careful when you check out her site.
Anyway, she may have some info that helps in some way. Take care.
No, it certainly isn’t fair. Or even ok. It just sucks.