Apparently it hasn’t been bad enough
I thought I was ready for the inevitable with this cycle.
I thought I knew what was going to happen.
However I did NOT anticipate finding bright red blood at 10 days past retrieval.
It caught me so off-guard, I just sat there and stared trying to figure out what I was looking at. The last thing I’ve been looking for is bleeding. Last cycle I didn’t start bleeding until two days after I stopped the progesterone.
I am angry and confused. I am PISSED OFF. What the fuck is this? I didn’t miss a single progesterone suppository. I haven’t been setting my clock by them, but I’ve been taking them three times a day at the same general time every day (when I get up, around 3pm, and before bed). So what the hell is going on now?
And as much I was expecting a negative beta, my first thought was, “If there was anything there before, there isn’t now.” My body just hit the flush button. And I am irrationally angry at it (as if it is some seperate entity or something). I feel betrayed.
I think IVF#2 is henceforth to be known as “To hell in a handbasket and losing my grip,” because that’s exactly how I feel. I’m fucking done with this shit.
*hugs*
(((HUGS)))(((KISSES)))
I’m so sorry, Natalie. I know nothing I say will make this better and even though you were kinda expecting it, it still hurts more than ever when it actually happens.
I am here if you EVER need to talk or vent. I am sending lots of love your way and I am hoping with all my might that you will somehow find peace.
Love you,
Kristen
Oh Nat, I am so so sorry…
I’m so sorry! This sucks!
This just isn’t fair Natalie! I know you were kinda expecting it but we always hold out for that chance that a miracle will happen…and it still can. (((hugs))) I’m here if you need to talk. God knows I’ve had my share of disappointments…and it’s getting old!
Huge, gigantic, enormous hugs.
I have not been following your story closely, but if you are a few days from transfer, it just might be implantation bleeding. It happened to me and I FREAKED OUT. Turned out it was just the embryos getting comfy in my womb. So please research this, and talk to your doctors. And I know I am going to sound like an ass, but those “last chance cycles” are usually the ones that work! I am keeping my fingers crossed for you. Don’t stop taking your progesterone until you talk to your doctor
*hug*
I am so sorry Natalie. Sending you a hug.
Oh I am so sorry. Even if you were expecting it, I know deep down you had to be hoping for the best. Ugh.