It catches me at weird moments. Like just now, browsing my forums, my mind wanders to sigs and how I should update mine, it’s been the same for a year. Then my mind flickers over to the thought that I had a pregnancy ticker all ready to go for my sig. And it’s just a weird kind of double-thought, that I should be sitting right here, right now, pregnant… not still infertile. Not still going through IVF. I know the “should be”s will never help anything…. but it’s hard to not think them once in a while.

I really want to get on with this cycle. The first one was all new and exciting. This one I’m just thinking come ON already! Not like the birth control pill stage is all that exciting anyways, but I just want it to be retrieval and transfer already. I’m ready for a different outcome.

Not much else is going on right now… at least not fertility-wise. I have a ton of work and projects to do, as usual… just staring at my pack of pills and thinking that I only have a week until lupron. Okay, a week and a half.

But now I really need to get some sleep because if I go another night with less than an hour’s worth I will be very cranky.