This is a little off-topic, but I’m feeling frustrated.

I am not feeling good tonight. This afternoon/evening I was feeling great, even a little perky. Then it moved into night time and I fell apart. And it has nothing to do with impending AF or infertility (that I know of) – at least, that’s not the thoughts that are in my head at all. I’m just getting very upset at, umm, everything. I tried venting a little to Den but he started arguing with me instead of just offering sympathy (why do men feel like they have to talk logically about everything all the time? I don’t want a freaking discussion about what is RIGHT – I just want some hugs because I’m feeling upset, even if it is illogical!), then I started crying because he just wasn’t getting it at all, and now I’m laying here feeling not happy. Plus my dinner is not sitting well with me… I tried a new recipe and about halfway through eating I started feeling very badly. Even now, 7 hours later, if I think about chicken I start feeling like I’m going to throw up. Stupid damn nausea. (Yes this happens with me sometimes. It’s like I’m pregnant 365 days a year, I can have strong reactions to food.)

Part of the reason Den and I were arguing was I was talking about the athiest blogs I had been reading and some of the weird things religious people come up with. I guess we got off on some tangents and I mentioned a few of my pet peeves and Den kept asking, “Why does it bother you? It’s just a word. It’s meaningless.” And it frustrated me so bad! Yes, in many ways words are just meaningless. However it’s the thought, the belief, the opinions behind the word that upset me. And Den just simply cannot manage to validate my feelings over it. I don’t give a shit if he disagrees with me – I just want him to respect the fact that I do have feelings! Not shrug them off as something “silly for getting upset over.”

For the record – we were arguing about whether or not “God save our land” should be in the Canadian anthem. I firmly believe that religion ought not to be a part of any official government-related business, thus God should not be in the national anthem. Den’s of the opinion of “What does it matter? It’s always been that way.” An attitude that annoys me in the best of times. “Because that’s how it is,” has never been an acceptable answer to me. My dear husband is so very non-confrontational that he just doesn’t like to take sides and thus doesn’t care for change because it creates conflict. He can be extremely irritating to talk to, since I have my pet causes and get all riled up about them! He just wishes I wouldn’t get so worked up.

For the record: I have never been religious. I was raised without any basis in religion, other than the fact that other people went to church and believed in different various things. My dad liked to talk about space stations and supernovas and the possibility of life on other planets. Religion – or any form of gods – never entered into the equation. Denis on the other hand was actually raised Catholic – but loosely. His grandmother is still strongly Catholic, his mother not so much. Den went to Catholic school for several years because it was the only private school option in the area and his mother wanted him out of the public school he was in. Over the years Den drifted I guess… I get the feeling he never really bought in in the first place. He’s pretty much agnostic.

You would think that an athiest and an agnostic wouldn’t be at odds over anything religious. Snort.

Maybe I’m just PMSing.