Relaxing Doesn't Make Babies

Difficult transitions

November 5, 2012 — 12:34 am

I think Kate is having an adjustment period now that Den is home. Unfortunately she’s taking it out on me. She’s super happy whenever Daddy is home, she gets all I’m so freaking excited I’m going to run back and forth and Daddy will PLAY with me ALL NIGHT OMG! And really, I love her joy and excitement. It’s awesome! I love how he jumps right in there and lets her stand on him, hang off of him, push him around with different games. Unfortunately when he’s at work – which he has been all weekend – she’s driving me freaking insane. She isn’t sleeping well and she wakes up sobbing because her paci fell 3 inches to the side and she can’t find it. She throws tantrums over every little thing, from screwing the lid on her sippy cup herself to throwing something in the garbage can. And most notably she is refusing to sit with me on the couch. It’s almost like she’s too wired to sit still, but at the same time she’s sobby and hyper-sensitive. Yet when I pick her up she squirms and says, “Down.” If I ask her if she wants to lay on the couch with Mama she says, “No!” It sucks because that was our daily routine, every morning we’d get up all bleary-eyed and tired and lay on the couch together watching TV. Sometimes just 10 minutes before she hopped down wanting breakfast, sometimes an hour or more while we waited for Ember to wake up. I loved that time with her, and I also really feel like it helped Kate organize her thoughts and start her day… not that she needs it, but it worked. Now she’s just a mess.

Ember has a little cold and for the first time something is really messing with her sleep. She napped okay, but yesterday she wouldn’t go to sleep until 10pm and today I got her down at 10… and back up at 10:30. Her nose is stuffed up and every time I take her in the bedroom she’s just screaming from being overtired and pissed off that she can’t breathe right. When she woke back up screaming at the top of her lungs she woke Kate up. Yay. (They’re in different rooms still… but the walls aren’t exactly thick.)

I hope all of this settles down and things go back to normal soon. Especially because we have several transitions planned and I’m not doing a damn thing while they aren’t sleeping to start with. I’ve decided it’s time to get Kate a twin bed so that we can move the crib into our bedroom for Ember. She’s going to be rolling and crawling in the next couple of months and she doesn’t seem particularly keen on the cosleeper. She’s been sleeping in my bed while Den was away and since I have to transition her into her own bed I figure we might as well just make it the crib instead of doing one thing now and another switch later. Then at some point we need to tackle the “paci fairy” and somehow convincing her to give up her pacifiers… I have no idea how to do that one though, since not only does she use them in her mouth but they’re her comfort objects that she carries around. And then potty training. And I have no idea what order all of that is going to go in.

Right now, though, I’d be happy if my kids went back to sleep. Somehow while writing this post I ended up with both kids awake and sitting with me. They must have a cold. :(

12 responses to “Difficult transitions”

  1. Helen says:

    The kids are getting so big, and are beautiful! As far as the paci (it took forever to get it away from my son)…I heard of someone who took their kid to build a bear and they put the paci’s inside the bear while stuffing it. The bear then became the new transitional object. (kid knew they were in their but could not get to them and accepted it) It worked very well. You may want to “loose” some of the paci stash before going so you dont have a bear stuffed with 15 pacis, but a few in the bear belly works. It may be harder if Ember uses paci’s, as Kate will still see them. Good luck (my son slept with the paci till age 4!). The twins never liked their paci’s…wish they did sometimes. Rough either way!

    • Nat says:

      Thankfully Ember doesn’t use them so that’s not an issue… once Kate’s done with them they are all gone! That’s a neat idea… I wonder how that would go over!

  2. Carrie says:

    I was worried about those 2 issues with our boys too (paci/toilet trainin) and dreaded them. Our boys are now 4.5 years old and I can tell you that I worried for nothing. Both of those issues turned out to be a lot worrying for nothing. Both went a lot better than we anticipated.

    The paci – we decided at some point that pacis were just for bedtime and that the boys were to leave them there after sleeping. They could have them overnight and for naps but that was it. They actually adjusted very easily to that one. And then after a few weeks we just took the pacis away entirely. The boys asked for them and were upset when we told them that they were big boys now and they didn’t need pacis anymore. They cried for about 10 minutes that first night and then fell asleep and slept the whole night through no problem. The next night they asked for them but didn’t cry at all and that was it!

    Toilet training – my only advice is wait until you are sure she is ready. She is the leader in that milestone and you are just following the leader. We tried to train the boys at one point and it became very obvious that they weren’t ready (lots of accidents). We waited 6 months and tried again and they were so ready we didn’t have a single accident. They practically trained in 1 day. They still wear pull-ups to bed at night but night training will come when they are ready.

    Try not to stress too much about these things. I think you’ll be surprised at how easily they will go.

    Good luck!


    • Nat says:

      You know what’s frustrating, she WAS down to just nap and night time and then suddenly she wanted them all day long again… I think because of her molars. I feel like we’re moving past that, so I’m limiting to nap and night again. She’s okay with that usually, unless she sees one. Love to hear that it was such a quick transition for them!

      As for potty training, I’m definitely trying not to stress. This is the first time I’ve felt she was ready to even try it, and I’m not pushing her at all, we’ll just see how she does.

  3. Annemieke says:


    I have been following your blog for a while, but never commented. My girls are just a couple of months ahead of both of yours so I can totally relate to your posts!

    Regarding the paci, I agree that I worried for nothing. We already transitioned to having them only for nap and and night. I waited for Saturday, and started with nap time. I cut smallish vertical (not horizontal) slits into 4 paci’s and put them in bed with her (I hid all the other paci’s). I watched on the monitor while she tried out her paci’s muttering, “I don’t jike this” and moved on to the next one. She was upset when she found that none of them sucked right, I saw her kind of crying, but fell asleep quickly. Same thing at night, I cut the hole a little bigger for a couple of days, but that really wasn’t even necessary, she just didn’t like them anymore. She asked for a different one for a little while, yes, but I just said that those were the only ones we had and quickly moved on talking about a different subject. Took 2-3 days max and we were done with them completely.

    Happy my little one doesn’t take a paci at all.

    Good luck!

    • Nat says:

      Haha, I am cracking up at her muttering that she doesn’t like it. That is so lovely to hear. I hope Kate adjusts so well! How old was she when you did this?

      • Annemieke says:

        She was almost 22 months. I was skeptical but it worked perfectly!

        • Annemieke says:

          What I especially loved about this is that nobody had to take anything away, my daughter was the one rejecting the paci (with slight intervention from us :))

  4. betttina says:

    My 18 month old has a cold and it’s so hard for her to nurse! She can’t breathe well, so she’ll nurse for one second, unlatch to take a breath, re-latch to nurse again – over and over and over. My nipples haven’t been this sore since she was a newborn! I’m glad I’m able to comfort her with nursing and she’s still sleeping great, even with the time change, but the stuffy nursing is a pain.

  5. Laura says:

    When our dentist told our daughter it was time for our daughter to give up her pacifier, we offered to take her to the store and exchange it for something. In the planning stages, she latched onto the idea of trading it for a wading pool (it was the middle of July). We put her pacifier in a ziplock bag, let the cashier in on our secret and when we got to the head of the line she “traded” her pacifier for the pool while daddy paid for it. We told her it was being sent to another child who needed a pacifier. Worked like a charm. I like the Build A Bear idea, too.

  6. Franziska says:

    Wow. Lots of stuff going on. I would pick just one to focus on … whichever seems the easier one right now.

    We potty-trained several times (my daughter kept losing interest), but it was low stress because we didn’t force it.

    Our binky got planted in magic soil and turned into a lollipop. Worked well, but I think it was key that my daughter had bought into a specific date for giving it up. I love the build-a-bear idea, too.

  7. Fiddle1 says:

    When we decided that pacis were for bedtime and car only, I found an old box, and she chose and put stickers on it. that stayed by her crib, and when she got up, she’d put her paci in the box. I think because she helped decorate it, she loved putting the paci in there. She would drop it in with a flourish!