Well we have a virus going around our home, we’re all sharing. It’s not very bad – I just have a scratchy throat and a tickle-cough going on, it’s mostly irritating. Ember had a runny nose that has stopped, Kate now has a little runny nose. Ember is clearly not feeling well, though. I can’t say for sure that it’s the cold that’s causing it, it could be her belly or even her teeth (feels too early for that!). Whatever it is she is not happy – she wants to be held all the time, she wants to comfort-nurse constantly (nurses all the time but dribbles milk out all over and falls asleep). She also goes from happy and smiling to crying in the blink of an eye, and it’s her “something hurts” cry. I feel bad for her, but it’s wearing me out having a clingy baby and clingy toddler while I don’t feel so great myself.

Kate does not appear to be feeling unwell but she’s going through a whiny stage. She’s suddenly decided that she wants to sit on my lap and be held, so she either says, “Baby down!” or she flings all 28lbs of herself on me, heedless of the small child that is already sitting there. This leads to me shoving Kate off (because she’s whacking Ember in the head, Ember’s now crying), which causes Kate to cry and throw herself at me… I am less than amused. I will happily let Kate sit on my lap if she is polite about it and lets me put the baby down first (or move the baby to the side or something). I enjoy sitting on the couch with my two girls…. just not with two wailing ones. (And yes, I know they will be hitting and shoving each other for many years to come.) It’s just one of those times that makes me think that having two kids was not the brightest idea I’ve ever had. (I’ll note that this scenario has only happened a couple of times, most of the time Kate asks or we just all sit and cuddle and it’s fine.)

I never thought I’d say this so early in my kids’ lives, but I am so glad fall is here and school is starting! Obviously my kids are not in school, but I have learned that all the other fun activities around here revolve around the school year. Drop-in gymnastics was a weekly thing for us, and it doesn’t open during the summer. In fact all the playdates and outings were outside either at large parks or pools, neither of which I could accomplish this summer with such a little one. It was simply too hot for Ember, she couldn’t tolerate 95 degree weather, and I couldn’t take Kate swimming when I had a cranky baby wanting me to hold her. So sadly we didn’t really get to do much out of the house, and that’s caused all three of us to go a little stir-crazy. Now the temperature has dropped into the 80’s and Ember is doing much better with that (plus she can hold her head up and is interested in what’s going on) so I’ve been taking Kate to the parks. Much happier kids! I get bored and a little nervous watching Kate climb the big kid equipment (why do they have little kid equipment? I know the logic behind it, but they never explained to the two year olds that they shouldn’t be on the FUN big stuff). The only hard part is getting Kate back in the car to go home. I’ve sunk to bribery… at least until we get to the car. Then she climbs all over while I strap Ember in, I have to chase her around the car a bit (she climbs in and out of the front seat, making grabbing her a bit of a challenge). This, too, shall pass. (Someday. Someday soon. Please.)

I think so far the hardest part of having two children… well, okay, there are two hardest parts.

The first is that I want to enjoy each of them separately, I want to be able to spend time with both of them one-on-one so I can give them my full attention. Both of them clearly thrive when given that attention, which seems like a “duh” thing but it’s easy to get lost in the day to day. There’s always something to do, and I am absolutely not saying that from the perspective of someone who has a perfectly tidy house and organized life, I’m more of a making sure there are clean clothes and clean dishes and I can see my countertops sometimes kind of person right now. Life is like this: there is a diaper to change, a baby to feed, a meal to make (sandwiches – I told you, I am not supermom). I give Kate hers and get halfway through mine before Ember starts crying so I’m holding her. Kate gets peanut butter everywhere so I have to put the baby down (who starts crying again) to wash Kate’s hands and mouth. And so on. I get time with Kate while Ember is sleeping (but quietly, because Kate can be loud and wake Ember up, then we’re back where we started) – mostly she likes to read books and build towers and play catch with a ball. I get time with Ember when Kate is napping, but I like to get them both sleeping at the same time so I have an hour of peace.

The second is me keeping cool and collected when they are both being loud/crying. I admit it, it rattles me. I don’t do well with noise (which is yet more reasons we should not have more children, I know they each just add to the chaos!) and I don’t do well when my child is upset. So I find myself getting short with Kate when she is being slow and fighting me (limp-noodling when I’m trying to get us out the door or something) if Ember is crying. Or I’m rushing Ember because Kate just melted down. And I know I’m still doing a fine job, what mom doesn’t tap her foot and hustle their kid through a door, it’s not a huge deal. But at the same time I’ve always tried to slow down and approach life on Kate’s level, and I want to keep doing that. It’s just definitely a greater challenge now that I have more things to do.