My flights home went well, Ember sleeping through most of the air time. She did scare the other passengers, though – as I was trying to get settled in my seat and get her out of the beco carrier she started screaming and crying. Everyone was shooting “oh shit” looks over in my direction. But of course as soon as I got all my stuff situated and started nursing her she passed right out for the entire flight. As we were getting off a few people said, “She was so good!” The next flight she was sleeping for a while, then awake and watching everything for a while. Apparently she’s a good traveler.

I am super happy that she liked my friend’s Beco Gemini. I borrowed it for the trip knowing I’d need something for the airports at the very least, and I ended up using it at the mall and other outings as well. The body is low enough that she can just peek over the edge and she realized that was pretty fun. And then if she’s tired she’ll just put her head down and fall asleep. So happy about that! It made getting around super easy. Though I have a sore lower back now from the carrying and the sitting awkwardly on the plane, hunched over a sleeping-but-nursing baby. Ow.

I got home late at night so I didn’t get to see Kate until the next morning. I missed her! After she woke up I opened up her door and said, “Hi, baby!” And she replied, “Daddy?”

Kate is… well I’m not sure there are the right adjectives for Kate right now. She’s not as Terrible Two as some other kids are… but she’s got her moments. I am also easily frustrated right now, like when Ember is crying because she needs to be changed and fed. My blood pressure rises when I just need to get to the car, but Kate’s whining that she wants something-or-another and doing the limp noodle in a parking lot and just laying there refusing to get up. I didn’t really realize how much she listened to me until she stopped listening. Now she plays deaf and ignores me or else makes a run for it then throws a fit when I catch her to enforce the I said to stay there! I take Ember into my bedroom to change her diaper, since that’s where all her diaper stuff is set up. And every single time Kate runs in there, climbs onto the bed (thus why there is sand in my bed), grabs the babies things, runs around on the bed narrowly missing Ember by inches, and pulls everything off my side table. This gives me a headache. I would prefer if she just not go in there for the 2 minutes, but that results in her falling down sobbing just outside the door. Every time.

She just seems really spazzy right now. I really want to just have a conversation with her or hug her or play quietly – she wants none of these things. She wants to be LOUD and she wants to PUSH and she wants to BANG and CRASH. I need to take her somewhere she can do those things.

I am missing the peace and not-so-quiet of having someone else’s children running around making noise… but knowing it’s not your responsibility!