Kate is making me a little crazy right now. Since getting sick last week she has been refusing to go to sleep without crying. At first it was just a pseudo-temper tantrum, and those I can ignore – it would only take 5 or 10 minutes before she’d give up and go to sleep. And she is still sleeping all night after that. But it’s getting progressively worse – now it’s like she’s having little panic attacks when we even walk towards the bedroom at night (or nap!). And the crying is no longer “don’t leave me here, I want to play!” it’s really upset crying. I’m at a loss. I can get her to fall asleep in my arms if I lay down with her, but I can’t get her in the crib without waking her up, and then she does the crying thing (but less, because she’s usually pretty tired). I could try leaving her on the mattress on the floor, but she hasn’t slept on that in months and months and I worry that will lead to her waking up and getting up to play in the middle of the night. I could try bringing her into our bed, but the dogs are so noisy they wake her up (as does Den in the morning) – plus I really need SOME down time. Ugh.She’s still a little stuffy but definitely on the upswing, not nearly as sick as she was. I am really really hoping that when she’s feeling 100% again that she’ll go back to liking her crib. :/

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I am starting to feel MUCH better. At 10 weeks the nausea took a big step down, which was pretty major because that’s only 3 weeks of feeling seriously miserable. Then at 12 weeks I really started feeling more like my old self – more energy to keep up with the house, play with Kate, get schoolwork done. I even stopped needing a nap during the day. And I’m also noticing that I’m starting to just feel better about myself in general. My hair doesn’t feel as gross, my face did recently break out horribly but I think I’m getting it under control finally, and when I make an effort to get dressed nicely (jeans, fitted shirt to show the belly, necklace, makeup, hair blowdried) I’m actually feeling pretty good. This perks me up considerably. I don’t remember feeling that blah the last time. I was working when pregnant with Kate, and while sick and tired I just don’t think I was that gross feeling. I felt like this baby had sucked everything out of me and just left a deflated mess.

The belly is now clearly (in my opinion, at least) a baby belly. I could still hide it, if I chose to, with baggy sweatshirts, but everything else is showing the bump. And I’ve always been one to prefer fitted shirts to show that it really IS a bump instead of loose shirts where I just look pudgy. I do feel pretty huge for 12 weeks – of course that gets some “twins?!” comments, but I’ve already had two ultrasounds and we know there’s just one. It’s just that it’s my third pregnancy. And I thought I was showing early the last two times! Ha!

Baby remains very active. For being only 12 and a half weeks I feel it moving pretty much every day. And not even just when I’m laying down; once in a while I’ll feel a nudge when I’m at my computer, watching TV, or driving in the car – so when I’m sitting still for extended periods. When I’m laying in bed some nights I feel more than a poke or nudge, I feel what I can only describe as wiggles and rolls, and a bunch of pokes. Baby also sits higher than I would expect, but then Kate was down low pretty much the entire time sitting on my bladder. This baby has thankfully gotten off my poor overworked bladder. (Though I still often pee when I throw up, not that that’s the baby’s fault.)

I’m just so happy I’m close to the end of the first trimester already!