9 month nights = hell
I don’t know if it’s teething. I don’t know if she’s sick. I don’t know if it’s a growth spurt or developmental thing. All I know is that night has become the worst shit ever.
Naps she is doing fantastic. I put her on her belly and lay down beside her and sing to her and she falls asleep. And she’s sleeping for 1-2 hours. I am so very happy with naps. Even going to bed the first time, I do the same thing and it’s easy as pie.
It’s when she wakes up that the fun starts. As it has been the past two months it’s usually only an hour later. She wakes up crying, I go in to put her back to sleep the same way I put her to sleep the first time… and she freaks the fuck out. Screaming bloody murder. So then I try cuddling her, because that always works. More screaming. I pick her up. Screaming. I walk her around and jiggle her and rock her and shush her and sing to her and she arches her back and screams. Last night she did this all night long, even though she was sleeping right next to me. Like literally, I am RIGHT THERE. Even trying nursing her got that reaction half the time; the other half she’d nurse until she was content, try getting up to play, and recommence screaming when I gently layed her back down with me for sleep. (Note: I didn’t try to put her down, I tried to lay down with her in my arms!)
She is not congested. She is chewing everything in sight. She is fine if we turn on lights and she can play – but then you end up with massively overtired baby and that is no fun for anyone. She needs to sleep. I need her to sleep. I’m still sick, my patience is pretty much gone, tonight I just sat in bed with her and cried along with her. Because I don’t know what to do. Because I don’t know what is wrong. Because I feel like I’m failing her. I just keep reminding myself that it hasn’t always been like this and it won’t always be like this and it’s just the age… the learning new things and the teeth that still haven not shown themselves and the growth spurts and the separation anxiety.
This phase sucks.
I could have written this few nights ago – several bad nights with restless flailings and lots of nursing had me pretty tired, especially as I’ve started back at work. While lying there one night I had a vague memory which I followed up the next morning – yup, we’re bang on for another Wonder Week (my little lad was due just before Kate and arrived a week after)
The 8-9 month sleep regression/developmental leap seems to be pretty notorious – there’s lots going on for them at this stage
http://moxie.blogs.com/askmoxie/2006/02/qa_what_are_sle.html
http://i105.photobucket.com/albums/m203/Sandcastles73/WonderWeeks.png
Quite relieved when I tracked this down – the thought this is just a phase rather than a new normal. And our last couple of nights have been better (hallelujah) though we’re having a fight to get him down which we never used to. There’s light at the end of the tunnel and hopefully you’ll see it soon too!
Oh Nat..Im so sorry you´re sick and not getting any sleep.After 3 kids,Ive learned that sometimes,there is no aparant reason for these shitty nights,they just happen,and they`re exsausting!
Noelia is almost 3 and she hasnt had a good nights sleep in about 3 weeks.She wakes up whining 20 times a night,she flails around in our bed etc,some nights,I feel like putting on my coat and shoes and just leaving..Im beyong frustrated because not only am I not getting any sleep what so ever,but I feel like I havent sat with my husband or had any “me” time for waaaaaaaaaaay to long.Im totally burned out.
The thing is,even my older kids have nights where they wake up alot.Of course,they´re older,so they dont cry or whine and they certainly know better than to expect me to lay with them (lol),but its very anoying to think “great..finally,now Im going to realx”,and one of the 3 always seems to be wide awake and right there 24 freakin 7!
I certainly think they have phases where they just arent as tired or they seem to wake up just-because,so its not like you´re failing Kate at all.Shit happens,and more than you`d like when you have kids lol.
Have you ever heard the saying, “After Monday and Tuesday,even the Calendar says W T f!” ;)
Its SO true!! lol
All I can say is–it is only a phase and it will pass! Hang in there!
have you tried tylenol for teething? that is the only thing that ever really disrupted my babies’ sleep at 9 months. but my kids are sleepers, always have been since they were about 2 months (slept in the cosleeper next to our bed and then easy transition to a crib), so I am not sure how you manage (they get their high need for sleep from their mom!).
Oh I remember this so well — crying along with the crying baby because you’re so tired and NOTHING is working. It happened to us around the same age and what we did was phase out the night feeds (incredibly slowly, but he was still very unimpressed) and do the Babywhisperer’s Pick Up/Put Down thing. It felt instinctively right and worked miracles. (Things were much, much better within two weeks). I am not a fan of ‘training’ babies to do stuff, but this worked for us.
I hope it passes soon for you, and rest assured it WILL pass. Sounds like you’re doing a fantastic job, and you certainly are not failing her!
As far as I can tell when e has done this under the same circumstances it seems to be that whatever it is is making it difficult to sleep and that frustrates him horribly bc he’s tired and wants to but really doesn’t want to go back to the land of trying to sleep but can’t. Makes him panic. Only thing we’ve found to make it through is to hit reset by doing something calming but not sleep related with him and trying again much later. Horrible bc were all awake but less horrible than awake with screaming.
Sounds like beginning of ear ache to me.
Quick responses while I have a chance:
Tried tylenol the past two nights, I didn’t see a difference.
The sleep regression/developmental leap sounds like a likely culprit… the last time she did this was when she was learning to crawl.
I do need to get her calmed down before I can get her to sleep…. when she’s freaking out like that there’s no way she’ll fall asleep (and if she does it’s in a sobbing kind of way that wakes her up 10 minutes later). Nursing sometimes works, but sometimes I need to flick on the lights and get her attention to snap her out of it. But then that sometimes backfires if she thinks we’re going to play with her. Ugh.
We have her 9 month appointment next week…
Could she be having too much sleep during the day? My kids all started dropping naps at around 6 months old,and by a year old,they weret napping any more at all.Some kids just cant nap,it screws up the nights.
At nine months old,Noelia was only having an hours nap a day..yes,she would have probably liked to have maybe one more at around 6-7pm,but I stopped letting her have that one after she started fighting me at night (and when she didnt,she´d wake up every hour in a HUGE pissy fit).
I was worried she´d be over tired with only the one nap,but it made things ALOT easier.
Not that it matters..she´ll be 3 on the 1st of May and she has gone back to sleeping like a newborn lol.
Im NOT amused..
I know you mentioned she may be teething and from what you describe it sounds like that may be playing a huge role. I’m not sure if you know about Hylands all natural teething tablets at Whole Foods, many people I know swear by them. Hang in there!
Have you tried a soothing classical music CD. We used to put our kids down with music every night and it helped soothe them.
I must also admit that on nights when the screaming was endless and I needed to get up for work the next morning, I would put my daughter in her crib, pop Baby Einstein in the VCR. She would watch/play for a little while and fall asleep before the video ended. The setup we had in her room would shut down when the video ended. It may not be the best solution, but the handful of times I tried it, it worked for us.
Good luck.