Den was home today so this morning when Kate woke up he took her so I could sleep for a tiny bit longer. I loved him a lot for that (and wished I could stay in bed longer, but I had to get up). When I got up she immediately wanted to be held by me and started whining and crying whenever I tried putting her down. Again. I put her down for a nap, which she woke up from less than 30 minutes later. I quickly fled out the door to work telling Den, “Good luck!!” I’m not sure I’ve ever been so relieved to go to work. I still was just so drained from yesterday.

I came home to a much different baby! She must have had a good day with daddy, she took a nap with him, played a lot. Maybe she just needed a day to get over the trauma of us leaving her, I don’t know. Plus my head was reset. That helps. A lot.

At 8pm she started getting whiny so I got her changed and put her down. She nursed a lot, took her paci and then fell asleep in like 5 seconds. No holding, no rocking, no singing, no fighting, no crying. She just put her hand on my chest, sighed, and fell asleep. Yaaaayyyyyyy! Yes she has woken up about 3 times in the past 4 hours, but every time has been the same, quick and easy. Actually the first time she hadn’t even moved and didn’t need me to do a thing, I just layed down beside her, facing her, she reached out her hand to touch me and fell immediately back asleep. So sweet.

I had to apologize to my poor husband today though. Last night I really kind of let loose on him and for no real reason. I was so frustrated with Kate but it’s not like you can blame the baby for being a baby, and not like you can let it out on them. So, sadly, he catches the brunt of my frustration. Even when I know it’s not his fault and that there is nothing he can do, he has to go to work and make the money that lets me stay home with Kate, plus he doesn’t have boobs.

::

Kate’s schedule also came up in conversation tonight when I came home from work.

D: “She needs a nap, I think.”
N: “Well, it’s too late now, hope she makes it til bedtime.”
D: “What do you mean, too late?”
N: “She needs to be awake from her last nap by 6pm or she won’t go to bed!”
D: “But doesn’t she go down for a nap at 6??”
N: “No, that was LAST month! Now she can’t.”
D: [massively exasperated] “You need to write me a schedule or something!!”

So I’m writing him a schedule. I really do forget how well I know her rhythms, that I take it for granted. I forget that he works all day, he doesn’t know our little routines. I have all these little mental notes about her likes and dislikes, her patterns, her expectations. He certainly knows her most of anyone else in the world besides me, and he knows little things about her that I don’t, little things she does for him that she doesn’t for me. But still, I forget. And it’s not fair for me to be frustrated with him for not giving her milk before a meal if I never happened to mention that, or that she can’t sleep after 6 anymore.

He is really enjoying his Mondays with her. It’s a chance not just for them to spend time together, he spends a lot of time with her every evening. But it’s different when he’s with her all day, when he has to handle lunch and naps and changing and play time. It really gives him a chance to get to see her during the day, to learn more about her and to come up with their own things. I may be the mommy, but she thinks daddy is pretty damn cool, too.