Nowhere near perfect
I feel like I’ve spent my whole life playing catch-up… not-good-enough. I have a serious lazy streak that combats daily with my obsessive personality. I always feel like I’m 10 steps behind… that I should be more organized, more tidy, more on top of things. Den and I are moderately organized people. We have calendars. We’re punctual. We take on responsibilities. But we’re forgetful and somewhat spacey (thus the need for the calendars – if it isn’t written down it does NOT get remembered). We’re “I’ll do it tomorrow” types.
If there is anything being a parent has taught me, it’s that I will NEVER be “all caught up.” Not ever. My house will never be perfectly organized. My calendar will never be perfectly scheduled, my days never perfectly planned. Kids just change too frequently! We settle into a routine and it works for a while, and then suddenly it stops working and everything goes to hell… until you figure out the new routine. She gets sick, misses a nap, has a bad night, poops when I don’t expect it… the list just goes on and on.
And you know what, I think I’m finally getting it – I think I’m finally okay with it. I always thought that I should have it all together, that I was somehow failing. I’m realizing that it’s a myth. We all just live day to day, especially with a family. The moms who say they have everything going perfectly? They’re lying. Right now I love more than anything sitting down with a friend and admitting all the things that we don’t have quite done yet, that the kids aren’t sleeping through the night yet, that the house is always cluttered in some way. I like honesty, it’s reassuring.
I forgot I was supposed to be at a Dentist appointment yesterday. The couple of bills that are payed by check are sometimes a couple days late (thank goodness for scheduled online bill pay for the rest). The dining table is half usable and half piled with photo albums and magazines and weird shit I don’t have a spot to put away. We’ve figured out Kate’s nap schedule for the moment, but next week it could very well change. That’s just the way it goes. I’m learning to just roll with the punches.
This post reminds me of those typical TV ads where a very well groomed mother all dressed in white (yeah,like thats possible when you have kids! lol) is in her spotless/sunny kitchen,watching her spotless child drink a glass of milk..as he dunks his cookies,he gets some milk on him,and the mother instantly tidies the mess,washes his shirt,and two minutes later,he´s wearing it again and dunking more cookies as the mother looks at the camera smiles (its a detergant ad lol).
Life is messy,and when you have kids,its even worse ;) Routines change,schedules go down the toilet,plans go out the window,one gets sick,the other cant sleep etc etc…nothing is ever set in stone lol.
I never seem to catch up with my laundry,the house is never tidy for long,and we are no longer punctual because its so hard to get the kids organized and ready and just fly out the door.Even now that they´re older it still isnt much better.
I gave in trying to be the “detergant ad” mother a LONG time ago.Its not possible and its OK.
There´s no rush,infact,after 12 years of being a SAHM,Ive realised that the only thing I have way to much of,is time.Its hectic,its soemtimes crazy,and I dont always get to chose what to do and when..but no one is waiting for me,so I have stopped caring about what time the beds should be done,what time the laundry should be folded etc
You are your own boss now…enjoy it!!! :D
This is why I love your blog. I’m just coming to these realizations myself. I had a solid month of James napping in his crib for both naps and now he isn’t in his room for 15 minutes before the screaming starts. Parenting is so “fly by the seat of your pants”. My anxiety riddled virgo mind is having a hard time with this, but it’s teaching me to be more patient, to be on someone else’s schedule, and to take what comes. I think motherhood has been good for me. It’s making me a better person. :)
YES. Exactly the case here.
And per your other post. Nap transitions SUCK.