I’m having a no-good day and was just shooting Den dirty looks when he tried lightening the mood.

I marched into the room and with no preamble said, “I need an intervention.”
He eyed me. “Chocolate?”
“Yes!”
He put his hands on my shoulders and said with all gravity, “Oh honey, did you think you were the only one who knew?”

I couldn’t help it… I pushed him away and bust out laughing. I’m so glad he has a sense of humor.

But I’m not kidding about the chocolate. These cravings are ridiculous, I am eating an insane amount of junk (and very little healthy stuff). I need to go cold-turkey. And I will. After Halloween.

::

Kate’s back to sleeping well at night, which makes me a very happy mama – though I’m still tired, thanks to the gloom of fall, it always makes my depression kick in worse. But Kate, she’s great!

Except at naps. She was always SO GOOD about sleeping, anywhere or anytime, as long as she was tired. Not anymore. She has discovered that there are fun things going on, she wants to blow bubbles and roll over and shriek like a pterodactyl. Which is great, I LOVE all of those things. But she wants to do them instead of napping. That doesn’t work for me. And not just because I need some downtime – but she needs to nap. She gets tired, she’s rubbing her eyes, I’m nursing her, rocking her, singing to her, and she’s whining and pushing away and blowing bubbles all at the same time. She giggles and coos, then cries. This is a continuing test of my patience. I used to be able to put her down for a nap in 2 minutes flat. Now some days it takes half an hour. This evening her eyes snapped open the second I opened the door to leave and her arms immediately started flailing and the whining started. I nursed/rocked/sung her back to sleep and left successfully… only for her to wake up 10 minutes later. Aggghhhh!

Please tell me this phase passes soon. I’m getting really tired of zombie-Kate and the corresponding meltdowns.

On the GOOD side of things, when I put her down to nap and she’s actually tired and settles in comfortably I can get up and leave. And even more exciting is that I have started hearing little cries/squawks… and then silence. I will go in if she wakes up and cries, but if I hear movement or other little noises I wait to see if she’s actually awake or just re-settling herself. The exciting part is that she is actually re-settling herself! I used to have to go in every single time, she’d wake herself up. Yesterday when I got up to leave her eyes opened and stared so I sat down on the floor and ducked just out of sight (if she sees me she wants me!). Then I waited a minute or two. Sure enough she blinked, looked around sleepily, and fell back asleep! Awesome!

::

Construction continues. I am about to tear all my hair out. I cannot handle my kitchen being such a huge dump! There is shit all over my counters, the floors are constantly dirty (pet peeve – I swear I sweep that floor 10 times a day because of the cat litter that gets tracked through), my sink is full of dishes because there is stuff in the way of the dishwasher….. aagghghhhhh!!!

Today I just woke up in a funk, I think. I could tell right away that it was a gloomy, rainy day outside. The messy house is getting to me, the weather is definitely getting to me, Kate fighting naps is frustrating. It was Sunday which meant nothing on TV, and Den was working. I ended up cuddling with Kate on the couch for a little while (I love her climbing on me, snuggling on my chest, and babbling away at me), taking a nap with her (in an attempt to force her to sleep at least an hour – and it worked!), and not even bothering to take a shower. Bah. I did go buy dog food, though…. which is when Kate had her meltdown, on the way home.

It was a lazy, pajama-filled day. I did get some laundry done and put away, and tidied up Kate’s room a little while she played on the floor. Oh, and I got some bills filed away, too. Then she started complaining that I had ignored her too long. The rest of the house is still a mess. :(