When you are pregnant you start to build up all kinds of little movies in your head of the future with your baby. Every year we go to a halloween party and last year I was newly pregnant. I remember watching a couple of little babies knowing that would be us the next year. I wasn’t more than 12 weeks pregnant but I stared at one sweet little girl and said to Den, “We’re having a girl and we are going to name her Kate.” And we did.

So this year I it was extremely exciting to pick out a costume for her. (If a little overwhelming. It seemed like such an important decision!) I even spent too much money on a costume of my own to go with it. We arrived and everyone ooed and awwed over the baby in costume. I proudly carried her around to show her off and handed her off to one of her grandmas. Arms free to eat and mingle, grandma gets a turn, what a great night!

Not even 15 minutes later I hear crying and Den goes to get her. And she utterly melted down. Did I mention she barely napped today? She slept in the car on the way over, but that obviously wasn’t enough. She was tired, she was overstimulated, and she was suddenly way past her line in the sand. We took her upstairs so I could nurse her, lay down with her, jiggle her, sing to her, walk with her. Nothing we did helped. She screamed. High-pitched, shrill, over-the-top screaming. She wouldn’t nurse. She wouldn’t take the paci. Even the magic mei tai didn’t quell it. I was in near tears, Den and I were snapping at each other, I packed up our bag and got ready to bail (though we knew in the state she was in the carseat was unlikely to stop it and it’s a half-hour drive home. Wheefun.)

Somehow Den got her to fall asleep on his chest, finally. She slept for a while, half an hour maybe. When her eyes opened we stared at her cautiously. Was she going to scream again? She looked up at me with big, watery eyes and said, “Cooooo?” Whew.

So we stayed for a little while. She did okay, even smiling at people and grabbing at things (and people). But she stayed facing me in my arms the entire time, which is really not like her (she likes to face out). She kept putting her head on my chest. So I just chilled out on the couch with her for a while, cuddling and talking to her. So much for showing off my happy, social baby. That was not how we expected her first halloween party to be.

But at least she was really cute. (Pic taken on a different day, when meltdowns were not on the menu.)