I feel like on “holidays” (or other such important days) I should at least attempt to stay on topic, but my mind keeps drifting to things like how my butt hurts and how much crap food I ate today. Obviously Mother’s Day is not such a big highlight in my calendar. And I don’t mean that it’s sad for me in a way that I want to pretend it doesn’t exist. It just seems like a silly day to me; unintentionally upsetting to some, brewing resentment in others, eliciting the typical “better buy a card and flowers for mom” effort in most everyone else. I’m just not a fan. I’d rather my husband do something nice to me just because, not because he felt he had to.

But regardless, I got a card in the mail from my MIL wishing me a Happy Mother’s Day, which was very thoughtful. She is always talking now about her grandmother’s necklace she has, the six stones it currently has and the three new stones it will soon be acquiring: Kate’s and my SIL’s twin boys’. Devin is #5 in that necklace. Again and again I feel blessed to have a family that recognizes him without question.

We had a good day, hubby, Kate and I. We went to see Lord of the Dance. I count Kate because I noticed her presence even more than I did my husband’s (who apparently dozed off a couple of times – just a tiny bit, he tells me later). Baby girl was squirming and stretching and kicking all day, especially during the show. I think she appreciated the strong beat of the music – and possibly all the crap junkfood we ate. Her darling little foot is now getting underneath my ribs, not just outside them. Both are equally uncomfortable, but at least when the foot is poking out I can push it down (I sat like that most of the time on the ride home – hand holding my ribs). When it gets underneath all I can do is yelp and sit up straight. Now granted it’s not wicked painful – yet. Most of the time she’s just squirmy and pushing upwards, but still every once in a while she gives a swift kick.

A very busy weekend for us, but we made it through. I was kind of hoping I’d get to enjoy this weekend before going into labor. Now it’s over and I have only this week left to work! Now she is welcome to show up this week if that’s what she so desires, but we’re really hoping that sometime next week is when she makes her arrival – after I’ve had a few days off of work, but not too many days to sit around and obsess. I’m starting to wonder if she won’t make us wait longer, though.

Den and I are both blissfully calm about her arrival. We have plans for when I go into labor about how to labor at home, when to go to the hospital, who to call, etc. We have the car seat installed, some of her clothes packed to bring her home in. We say things to people like, “Just two more weeks! Yes, we’re so excited!” We smile. We’re calm and prepared. … And we both admit to each other that it’s in large part because it’s so otherworldly it doesn’t feel real. Labor I can wrap my brain around, because I’ve been there before. I have a frame of reference for that. But when people ask if we’re ready for her to arrive? Well, we have her room pretty much ready, all her clothes washed, her diapers prepped, her cosleeper set up. Does that count? But, ummm, we can’t picture actually bringing a baby home. So, no, no we’re not ready. We’re never going to be ready. The moment will arrive and we’ll both be all, “Holy shit!” I can pretty much guarantee it.

So what new and exciting discomforts comes with nearing 38 weeks? Ummm, nothing. Devin died shortly before 36 weeks of pregnancy. I was feeling good still, not very uncomfortable. I’ve always had it in my head that my pregnancy ended before the last month, before things really got awful like people say it does. I prepared myself for the worst. It hasn’t happened yet. I’m starting to think that it won’t. I feel a little weird sometimes… every other pregnant lady around me is moaning about the horrible back/hip/pelvic pain and I try to be sympathetic without letting on that I don’t have any of that.

I am certainly getting bigger, though. Not huge, by any stretch, but the belly is full and round. And no, no stretchmarks so far. The linea nigra did finally show up, very lightly. Belly button did not pop, but that is probably in large part due to the anterior placenta and posterior baby, not much pressure from inside. (You can go check out the belly pics page, I finally uploaded the 37 week ones.)