One problem with a May baby: road construction. They have decided to do highway construction right at the exits we need to take to get to the hospital. The lanes are all messed up and split and you HAVE to be in the correct lane or whoosh, there goes the exit to the hospital and you can’t get to it. What a pain in the ass. I don’t even see what the hell they’re doing, anyways, it was fine how it was. Don’t they know I’m having a baby?!

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This has not been a good week for a multitude of reasons, none of which involve the baby, some of which I may talk about later. My appointment in the middle of Tuesday was hectic as hell – Denis busted ass to get there for the ultrasound, but happily was able to make it – but in the end everything is good with the baby. And as shitty as the rest of the week can get – and it can get very shitty, just for the record – at least the baby is okay. It’s my little mantra in life now: As long as the baby is okay. The rest I can deal with. I can laugh at the stupid shit, I can try to get a grip on the really bad shit, but it’s fine, I’ll deal with it.

The appointment started off with a NST like usual, and as usual her heartbeat was right where it always is and beating merrily in the 150’s. I spend my time in my NST jotting down notes in my notebook about questions to ask the Midwife, to-do lists, and other such things. Favorite Midwife poked her head into my little curtained room and asked, “Anything happening today??” She was the Midwife-on-call apparently and wanted to see if maybe she’d end up with me. But alas, no. But it did make me smile.

Then Not-So-Favorite Midwife came in with my chart. And, funny enough, now that she knows my full history and situation she was far more pleasant and less irritating. We talked mainly about my birth plan, confirming that my requests are fully reasonable and actually most of them are standard practice at this hospital. They even allow drink and food during labor (unless they are suspecting you are going to have a c-section soon). They don’t do episiotomies except in the very very rare emergency situation. They’re very supportive of breastfeeding, rooming-in, bonding immediately after birth (baby on my chest immediately, delayed procedures), delayed cord cutting. They don’t get a lot of women looking for a natural birth so I’ll have to remind them that I don’t want pain meds, but they are totally fine with that and have a multitude of other things available (birth ball, squat bar, labor tub). They do intermittent baby monitoring every half-hour, and even if I was in a situation where baby needs constant monitoring they have telemetry monitors available so I can stay mobile. All in all I am extremely happy with this hospital – which I expected, after Devin’s birth.

So the NST results were good, I’m measuring right on target, my weight was on target and my blood pressure good and normal. My Group-B Strep swab (which was done last week) came back negative so there is no reason I need an IV! And off I got shuffled to my Ultrasound.

I have to say, Ultrasounds are getting less and less reassuring for me. It used to be so so good to see a live baby on the screen, and the chance of getting some good pictures was exciting. Now I already know the baby is alive and well (especially when I come directly from a NST), the chance of getting a good picture is slim to none (she’s smooshed in there), and all that’s left is me worrying that they’re going to find something scary. All those internal organs, I don’t know what they are. Are they supposed to be there? Are they all in the right places? What the hell are we looking at here? Is everything measuring well? Well I still don’t know what all those black spots in her are, but everything is measuring just fine. Kate was doing a lot of practice breathing, her belly moving in and out, which was causing the u/s tech to smile and have to re-measure four times. So even more than usual, her weight estimate of 5lb 11oz is very much just an estimate – but it’s enough to show she’s growing well and is still smack in the middle of average. I like average.

Unfortunately (for me) the ultrasound confirmed what I’ve been thinking all along: this baby is very happily posterior. Which means her spine is up against my spine, her feet and hands are all facing my belly – which is why I feel SO much all the time. And also why I can’t really feel any large body parts most days – here I was thinking I was going insane because I couldn’t figure out how she was laying in there, all I could find were legs and feet and hands! Well duh, that WAS the answer… that’s all that’s up front, her torso is deep down. Why is this an issue? Well because if I happen to go into labor with her still posterior it’s definitely not ideal – you want the baby’s back up against your belly, with baby facing your spine, for her to fit neatly and easily into your pelvis for birth. A posterior baby – often referred to as “sunny side up” is going to mean a longer labor, and more painful. For someone who is planning an unmedicated birth this is not exactly happy news. Certainly not end-of-the-world news, but it makes me grimace. So to try to get her to flip over I am no longer going to be reclining happily in bed with my laptop (my most favorite thing to do in the whole world), or reclining in my recliner watching TV. I’m stuck at my desk (ugh, how mundane), leaning forward. The Midwife suggested washing all the floors in the house on my hands and knees – frequently. I’m going to be doing the stretches listed on the Spinning Babies website. Basically I need to be leaning forward as much as possible, letting gravity pull her body forward instead of back. Of course I know that there’s a chance she’ll spin on her own before labor starts (I’m pretty sure Devin was posterior until that last week when he suddenly felt far more forward and heavy)… but I’m going to try what I can to encourage her. I’m also wondering if my placenta’s position (in the front) has an effect… I read somewhere about babies preferring to face the placenta. I know she has always preferred it.

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All in all I’m feeling very good for having only 4 weeks left. I have no pubic pain; very very little hip pain; some lower back tightness but the chiropractor is really helping keep that in control. My biggest problem this week is my upper back and neck, and I think that’s stress (and posture) related – I made an appointment to get a massage on Saturday. My description of “cankles” was a bit of an exaggeration – most people looking at my feet wouldn’t see anything wrong at all, I’m just used to my ankles being very bony and they’re not so much anymore (and my socks do leave bigger indents). The heartburn is thankfully taking the week off, except for the one night I had lasagna for dinner. I’m still waking up frequently at night, both for pee breaks and for no reason at all, but I sleep well in between the waking. That hip pain at night has not returned, for which I am very thankful!

I am busy, I do push myself, but I’m also trying really hard to respect my body and treat it well. I go to the chiropractor, I get massages (though this is the first one I’ve needed in months), I stretch, I sleep with pillows. I try to eat well (but fail sometimes, like today). I am so so thankful that my body does this pregnancy thing well. I am lucky, and I know it. I’m still waiting to see what the next few weeks hold for me. Could be full of fun surprises.