Appointment and Ultrasound
Today was a beautiful, beautiful day. I got to see my baby again.
So today I am 10 weeks and 1 day, for my first OB appointment that involves an actual exam.
First a nurse brought me back to an exam room, had me pee in a cup and disrobe. She walks in and cheerfully asks, “Is this your first?” “No.” “Ohhh, you’ll have a houseful!” “No,” I answered again. She looked confused. I gestured to the file and wryly added, “First was stillborn.” “Oh….” Know how everyone mentions the big red sticker we should have on our charts? Why don’t they do that? But anyways, it didn’t upset me, just had me rolling my eyes. She took my BP (which was low, considering the anxiety involved in doctors appointments!) and my weight, asked about last pap. I told her how I’ve had a previous loss, I’ve had bleeding, I would prefer if no one messed around down there. No problems with that, she said they can always do it later.
Obviously she briefed the NP before she came in, I heard her rifling through my chart. No more incidents of that nature for the day. She introduced herself, asked about flu shots, did a quick breast exam. She said she knew I didn’t want a pap, and that was fine.
So then she mentioned trying with the doppler. “It’s very early,” she said, “but we might get lucky.” I know it’s really early.
“Just to warn you, if you can’t find it with the doppler, you’re going to have to send me over to reproductive for a quick scan.”
“Well, she might not be there, but we’ll see what we can do… hopefully we won’t need her!”
Uh-huh.
So she brings in the doppler on a cart thing, goops my belly, puts it down and starts searching around. Nope, nope, nope. Found a heartbeat…. she actually thought it might be the baby’s, it was almost fast enough (but I knew not fast enough), but of course she checked and that was MY heart that was racing. Did that a couple more times. My heartrate was wicked high. I didn’t feel panicky, but I could definitely feel the anxiety closing in. Too many memories of searching futilely for a heartbeat that was no longer there. I decided I really don’t like dopplers. So she says she’ll stop putting me through this any longer, told me to get dressed, and went off in search of the u/s tech.
And then another nurse came in to give me my h1n1 vaccine. I really couldn’t concentrate on shit right then. I watched as she pinched my arm and darted the needle in. “You didn’t even flinch!” I laughed at that. Needles don’t make me flinch anymore.
Finally the tech came to get me and lead me into one of the reproductive rooms with an ultrasound machine. “You know everything’s going to be fine, right?” she said with a smile. “Yep,” I replied. “I just need to see it.”
Cervix first, it’s looking as lovely as cervices can look in pregnancy – long and closed.
And then there baby was. Head, body, little limbs. It wiggled back and forth and turned over. I saw an arm move, a foot move. She pointed out the little bones forming. You could SEE them. Toes, little individual fingers, ribs, spine. So freaking amazing it is beyond words. I am absolutely amazed at the difference just 2 weeks makes. At 8 weeks it was just a little shapeless blob with buds. Now you can see it all forming, becoming a person, becoming a real baby. My eyes teared up. I could have layed there for hours watching the little one moving around. In fact I was so overwhelmed I didn’t even pay attention to the heart rate or CRL or anything! The heart is definitely beating, and baby has most definitely grown!
This is why I’m going through hell… and why I’ll go through it again and again.
that’s one beautiful baby Nat :)
So glad they got their ducks in a row. You definitely need a big red sticker.
Beautiful pictures. Just beautiful.
im soooooo happy for you…double digits, that baby is beautiful:)
Amazing pictures, absolutely amazing! I have my 9w6d u/s this Sunday…and absolutely can’t wait now! Those Philips machines are amazing quality aren’t they, I find all the GE ones I have had are fuzzy and blurry, but the one scan I had last week on the Philips machine was breathtaking!
I am so glad to see you are doing well. So happy for you!
A beautiful picture and post, but it’s the last line that got me, Nat.
Oh what bliss. Beautiful pictures. Enjoy.
Wonderful.
I hate no chart reading though.
I’m so glad you got to see your little one again, Nat. What amazing pictures.
Aww :)
Fantastic ultrasound pics. It’s so good to see the baby developing so well.
sheesh… shame on that person who said “is this your first” and when you say “no” she assumes there are babies at home. seriously, does she WORK in an OB office or not!? dont they KNOW how common miscarriage is, let ALONE stillbirth? you would think she’s put her foot in her mouth on that one before. idiot.
beautiful, beautiful little baby. zillionth reason i am pro-life.. that is a real human in there, and yes, they DO grow so fast in such a short time!
I don’t know why, but I keep getting the vibe of a little girl every time I look at your ultrasounds. Either way, he/she is still a beautiful baby!!!!
What a lovely, beautiful baby you have there!! What was the heart rate? Just curious! :-)
GORGEOUS! Enjoy the ultrasound high :)
I’m very happy for you Nat.
They grow so fast!!!
What a beautiful look at your baby in there….it is truly amazing. I never get over the wonder of it all and hope I never do. Sorry about the nurse, some people can hurt when they don’t mean to. I hope she learned from this and that she thinks a bit more (or reads the chart) before she speaks so freely.
Wow 2 weeks is an amazing difference!
Cute lil’ baby you got there =D
I think I’m totally leaning towards girl on this one.
what a good looking baby! I can’t beleive you are already 10 1/2 weeks already! Your pregnancy is going by fast for me. lol!
omg i’m bawling my eyes out for you! how perfectly lovely!!!
Awww so beautiful
Hi, I came over from Mel’s post on Blogher to send some happy hugs your way at the great ultrasound news and pics!
It’s like those nurses don’t know anything about loss or IF. Where do they live? La la land?
Good for you for keeping your poise, but it would be okay to be snarky too!