I have a feeling that if I went through this entire blog and tagged all the angry posts there would be a whole lot of “anger.” Now I realize that the estrogen I am on is making me a little cranky. But I am in a PISSY ASS MOOD.

I finally got around to calling the nurses today. They wanted to go over the protocol with me when I got the instructions in the mail, but work has been… well, busy. And, you know, I was not obsessing. When I am not obsessing over something it tends to slip my mind. (To offset the obsessive personality, I also have a terrible memory. Unfortunately this kind of means I get extremes of one sort or the other.) But the instructions were pretty simple, I already know my transfer date, I’m taking the correct number of patches… I just wanted to see if they needed to see me for anything.

The first answer is: yes, they do need to see me for an ultrasound on Saturday morning to check my lining before starting me on progesterone and preparing for transfer. That’s fine.

Oh, and, they haven’t submitted to insurance yet, so they’ll start that today as “Urgent” and hope it gets processed in time.

I hung up after listening to the message and basically said, “$$#@%@%@!!” You have got to be KIDDING me. I know they were expecting me to call last week to go over protocol, but they knew I was doing the FET!

Know what I’m most pissed about, though? The one thing that has me nearly in tears of frustration? That I was trying to – and succeeding! – not stress. To take it nice and easy, not think about it, it was going to be nice and simple and problem-free. And I get kicked in the ass. In a way it feels like this is a punishment from the universe for daring to stop worrying and not stay on top of things.

Will this likely all work itself out? Yes, probably. If they could pull off the December cycle, then chances are this one will work out too. But it’s not a given. Nothing is a given. And it infuriates me when I keep being reminded of that fact – as if I don’t already know? Can’t I just rest in naive bliss for a couple of damn weeks and pretend that this process is easy?

The other part of the conversation today revolved around progesterone. The nurse mentioned that normally their protocol is IM progesterone for FETs… but at the same time she said it was up to me, whatever I was more comfortable with. That was rather confusing to me and Den. So I called back to get some feel for why they prescribe PIO for FETs but not for stims cycles. The answer was basically that they do it “Just in case,” but have no data to suggest it works better. Plus add in the fact that I’m going away for two weeks, half of which is not going to be with Den, my injection-giver, and I’ll be doing prometrium again.