I was talking to Den about personality type tests and how me and my co-workers were on different ends of the spectrum in many ways. I find it hard to pin down my husband’s personality type. I led him through a quick Jung personality type and found out why: he’s pretty borderline in almost everything. It did peg him as the “Champion” type, ENFP, and I can see a lot of that in him. But there are large portions of the description that just aren’t necessarily right. He fluxuates. I can see a lot of ESTJ in him, even (moreso than any other – isn’t that strange).

After he fell asleep I took the test myself to see how I’ve changed over the years. Interestingly enough I fall into the INFJ category now. The introverted part is a no-brainer, and after reading some descriptions of different types I do certainly seem to be an NJ – intuitive judging. But it’s that little F that’s a surprize.

I used to be a very solid INTJ: the thinker. Many parts of the description still describe me very well, and I do think it’s dependent on what I am working on at the moment. I can be highly analytical and judgemental, sometimes to the exclusion of others’ feelings and situations. When I’m working, I’m working.

I chuckled when reading the description. There have been times, many times, when at my one job I’ve just made a decision that something is stupid and needs to be changed – so I change it and let my boss find out later. (And she happens to really really hate change.) I am a perfectionist, and my respect needs to be earned – and once lost is hard to regain.

But over the past few years a different side of me has been developing: the activist. The feeler.

This is the side of me that is the writer, the mother. As my social skills developed, so did a great sense of empathy for others. One of the problems we encounter in our marriage is that I am highy reactive to his moods. I feel very, very deeply – I am easily hurt. And I feel a need to reach out to others. It is why I work in animal rescue, why I want to do more with pregnancy and birth, why I want to reach out more to other loss mamas.

I have grown up in so many ways. As a child I felt so very isolated – more, I think, than a typical teen does. I had poor social skills combined with an introvert personality, a biological tendency towards depression, and an overly analytical mind that always had me questioning and working on details.

I feel far more connected to the “mother” earth now, to the world around me. I have made many social connections and found that I enjoy helping others. I enjoy speaking out and supporting a cause – as long as I’m not standing out from the rest.

It is interesting being at such different ends of the same spectrum.

But of course there is a big part of me that thinks these personality tests are hugely flawed anyways. Fascinating, and certainly worth taking a good look at yourself to see if you can learn anything new… but to be taken with a grain of salt.