No Miracles
Here’s the part I can’t understand: Why do miracles happen to everyone else, but not us? I know that’s not a fair representation, but it feels like it some days. Most days. This whole journey has been one big clusterfuck, and the little things that went right are pretty much overshadowed by the things that went very wrong. If I were a religious person I would really be screwed up, wondering what the hell I did to deserve this.
I just don’t understand why we have to fight so hard, with so many setbacks, for something that comes so easy to most. I thought I’d put in my time, you know? I thought we’d struggled and succeeded. And then we lost Devin. And still I thought, well maybe next time we’ll get a free pass, we’ll get pregnant on our own, be one of those stories. But no. Not for us.
They come in their own time. Just as Devin took forever to get here, another miracle will too. There is no rushing these things. ;) If miracles could be granted all the time or on whims, would they be as amazing?
You’ve more than paid your dues, so I totally believe another miracle is in store for you. *hugs* Yes, sooner would be better than later. ;)
There are some questions that have no answers. I was told this and it somehow brought some calmness to me. All I can say is keep moving forward- believe in your ability to be a mom- you have already proven that this is possible. I’ll keep chering you on…even when it gets hard.
All I can say is there are some questions that have no answers. I was told this and it somehow brought some calmness to me. All I can say is keep moving forward- believe in your ability to be a mom- you have already proven that this is possible. I’ll keep chering you on…even when it gets hard.
I don’t know if I believe in miracles, or at least that’s what I tell myself.
I don’t have any answers for you, Nat. I have no idea where your free pass is, why the Universe continues to hand out these shit cards to you. I’m hopeful one day it won’t, though. And I know that just being hopeful of this cannot really offer any comfort to you at all. I wish I had a guarantee for you. I really wish I did.
Thinking of you…
I feel this way so often. I’m so sorry it has to be this way. I also felt that we waited, did our IF treatments, got pregnant and “paid our dues”. Then we lost Gregory and now we are back to the RE. It isn’t fair. You should not have to go through this when it comes so easy to others. I have no answers to that question, because I see no fairness or “reasoning” behind this. I just want you to know that I’m so sorry. Your pain is real and you shouldn’t have to deal with hit. Hugs.
Natalie, I promise that every day everywhere people are just getting on with it and not having miracles happen to them. I know it feels everyone but you is blessed but most of us are just trudging on with our lot. I hope it helps to know that everyone else isn’t floating on a cloud of happiness while you are left behind.
I realise my words are probably meaningless to you though because I am lucky enough to have two children, but I do have a friend who lost her baby in labour four weeks after my own daughter was born so I understand a tiny tiny fraction of your loss.
I am so sorry for everything you have been through and everything you are still going through and I truly wish you happiness and a healthy pregnancy and baby as soon as possible.
I’m just curious how this “Jen” chick understands since she had 2 children of her own. “Getting on with it” what a way to make yourself feel better. She doesn’t care what other people are going through. Intense pain has a way of doing that to you.