Relaxing Doesn't Make Babies » Widening

Natalie
From hopeful TTC, through infertility, IVF and the resulting pregnancy, this became a journal through grief and trying again after the loss of our first son, Devin, at 36 weeks. After multiple more IVF cycles we got pregnant with our second child, a little girl born healthy and alive in May of 2010. Our third child, a most unexpected surprise baby girl, was just born in June 2012!

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Widening – Not Always Good

September 13, 2008 — 10:03 am

I realized last week that I am not ready to be pregnant again. Mentally I’m ready. Emotionally I’m ready. Physically… not so much.

I have a vice, and it is not drinking or smoking or any of those such bad things. It is JUNK FOOD. And eating in general. I have been eating out a lot since I got my job (and the extra cash flow that comes with it). I have been giving in to my desires for Dunkin Donuts, McDonalds, whatever else I want. Chips, brownies, processed foods.

I have put on 4lbs… the 4lbs I worked so hard to take off. I feel gross. So one day last week I was looking down at my ever-widening thighs and thought to myself, Shit. I can’t get pregnant now.

I had several goals to attain before getting pregnant. One was going to Six Flags (haven’t yet – the weather is crappy crap), since I’ll be pregnant all next summer. And one was getting in shape so I could start off my pregnancy healthy. Not that 4lbs is a big deal, but to me it is. I want to be prepared.

So. After tonight I think I’m going to have to buckle back down and take those 4lbs off again before December. I can do that… that’s 3 months. No problem.

But food? It is so good. I love food. Sigh.

PS – We have the next RE consult on Monday early AM. Yippee, yipee. Not that I’m expecting much, but still. Hopefully we can set a plan in stone, or at least in wood or something less-than-liquid. This IVF keeps me going forward.

Comments (3)

3 responses to “Widening – Not Always Good”

CLC says:

September 13, 2008 at 2:42 pm

You can lose that in no time. BUt don’t be so hard on yourself. 4 pounds is nothing in the grand scheme of things. But the better you feel about yourself, the better you will feel when you are pregnant again. Good luck.
KC says:

September 13, 2008 at 11:45 pm

ohh i am excited about your RE consult!!! i can’t wait to hear about your dates for cycling and all that! IVF is coming!!!
curlimama05 (Kelly) says:

September 15, 2008 at 12:44 am

Nat…you could join our Yummy Mommies group if you’d like. We just started up our Christmas Challenge last week and our first real weigh-in is tomorrow.

There’s quite a few girls who have joined, and we’re really set on getting in shape and eating healthier. Some of us are slimming down for weddings,some want to lose the weight before we TTC, and all of us want to get back to our sexy, sassy selves.

You’re just as much of a mommy as we are, and we miss you!