Today we received notice that Devin was buried on May 15 in Oak Grove Cemetary in Section 11A, Grave #88.

My first reaction when Den called me about the notice was, “Well, that’s good.” It’s good to know the date, the grave marker, the graveyard. More things for his scrapbook, more pieces of his short life that I get to keep. I don’t know, I felt like I was supposed to feel more about that plot of earth. But then every once in a while I get an image of his poor little body bured under the earth an I get a familiar feeling of panic. The idea of burial, in general has always made me feel a little panicky. But at the same time I know we made the right decision for this. I don’t know. I’m just not a fan of graves, period. I’m much much fonder of his tree growing in our front yard.

We are allowed to place a grass level baby marker at the gravesite, and we are allowed to plant flowers or put out potted plants or urns from March 15 to July 1. I’m still really unsure about what I want to do, if anything. The idea of planting some flowers is nice.

It got me thinking about what to do around his tree, though. I think I want to plant some flowers around its base, to provide color since the tree is done blooming. Yes indeed, I think I want to do that.