Normal or worrisome? I just don’t know
This morning I woke up to reddish CM. And a lot of cervical cramps. Making myself breakfast (toast… and a banana – I really went all-out) really brought them on harder. So I’m currently laying on my couch. I have an appointment with the midwife at 9am, thankfully, so I’ll find out soon if this is something to be concerned about. Obviously right now there is concern about pre-term labor, I’m not quite 36 weeks yet and it is too early for baby boy to come out! I’m worried that they’ll put me on bedrest, as I still have things to finish up and I haven’t trained someone at my job yet on everything I do. We also have not made it to BRU yet to buy the rest of the stuff we need. We do have the necessities, thankfully.
I put up a couple of test patches of color on the bedroom wall last night, and thankfully one of them we both really like. So today I intend to buy 2 gallons of paint, and tonight hopefully Den puts up the first coat of actual paint! I’ll tell you what, when the bedroom is painted and put back together I’ll let out a huge breath. Then it’ll be ready for the co-sleeper and for Devin to come home. The rest of the house, whatever. The nursery doesn’t have to be done. The basement doesn’t have to be done. But we need a bedroom. (Sleeping on the futon last night? Yeah that was… interesting. One pregnant lady, three of her pillows, and her husband… on a futon. I’m surprized Den didn’t roll off the bed in the middle of the night.)
Then of course there’s the worry of Devin just not being as active. Very mellow baby lately. I’m obviously going to mention that as well today and see what they say. I’m hoping it’s just his position and size. I still have random fears of them going, “What? That’s not good! We need to get this baby out now!” (cue freak-out)
How is it that I’ve had such a nice, confident, relaxing, happy pregnancy up until now… then suddenly I’m full of fears in the last month? Wouldn’t you think it’d be the other way around, worrying until he’s big enough to survive just fine on the outside?? Because if he was born now he may or may not need to be in the NICU, but he’d be fine. And yet I’m freaked out anyways.
He needs to bake for several more weeks, that’s all I have to say.
Nat! Devin! Behave! *lol* Honestly, the not being as active is totally normal as you get into the last month – as long as you’re still noticing movement. The other stuff, though… I expect an update as soon as you’re done with your appointment!! ;)
Not feeling as much movement in the last few weeks of pregnancy is normal. My son did this and at first i worried. I called my dr and he said that because i was late in pregnancy and he was getting so big there is hardly any room for him to move.
Do take care of yourself though. You are working too hard. Hugs you
Take it easy! :P
And a few weeks ago you said that 35 weeks was full term. *headscratch*
Definitely let us know as soon as you can how the appointment goes. Talk about good timing. :)
Saying a prayer for you that everything goes fine at your appointment today. It is worrisome so take it easy and rest (easier said than done. Put your feet up because labor and delivery, as our coach described, is like running a marathon! Don’t feel guilty for resting, you deserve it! Your body is working hard.
Hang in there! Your doing great Mom!
((((hugs))))
Oh honey, I’m thinking of you, praying for you, crying with you.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family right now.
Nikki/CutieKaiyasMama from JM
Everyone at MLW is thinking of you and Den. We love you.
I’m so very sorry Nat. I don’t know what else to say. I wish I was there to hug you in person.
You are all in my thoughts and prayers right now. I wish I could do something or say something, but I can’t. You are the most deserving parents in the world and this is just horrible :mecry:
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers during this difficult time.
I’m so very sorry :( You, Den, and Baby Devin are in my prayers.
No!!! I am so sorry. I don’t have words adequate to express my sorrow for you.
(((hugs)))
I’m just so speechless, Nat. I have no idea what to say or do. I am in tears and so angry at the world right now. I wish I could go up to MA and give you a huge hug and hold your hand right now. Please know you, DH and Devin are in my thoughts and prayers right now. You have always been one of my closest online friends and I will always be here to listen.
ALL my love to you….XOXO
My heart goes to you and your family. I am so sorry for this devastating loss.
Natalie… I am so very sorry at this time in your life. I have shed several tears for you. You, Den, and Baby Devin are in my thoughts and prayers. I know you are strong and will get through this difficult time in your life. Please remember, there are a lot of prayers going out for your family right now.
Natalie, I am so sad for you. I don’t have the words. Saying lots of prayers for all of you right now. So, so sorry. xoxo
I am so incredibly sad and upset for you, Natalie. I am one of many that are praying for you and your family.
Nat, I’m so incredibly sorry for your loss. All I can do is pass along my thoughts, prayers & love for you and Den and hope that it meets you with some comfort. Please know that we all love you and have open arms for you when you are ready.
Came from Stickybean’s blog. You are in my prayers. I have no words, just prayers
Came from Freyja’s blog. I am just so sorry and thinking of your and yours at this time.
Honey, I’m so so So sorry. *holds you gently* *hugs Den too*
sweetheart – I can’t even begin to express how awful I feel at your loss. I know there are no words – no answers.
You 3 are in my thoughts and prayers.
love you
jen
Came from (un)complicate me. I’m so so sorry and I’m praying for you.
I heard about Devin from another blog. I don’t comment often but I read every day. I’ve been around forever…
I am so so so sorry.
This is so unfair.
Oh sweet Natalie, how much I am aching for you and Den right now. It is just not fair and there aren’t enough words. I wish there was a way to take this all away for you. We at BOLU are thinking about you, praying for you, wanting some way to make things right in your world again. Little Devin, please be with your mom and dad and help them through this with your presence. We have all looked so forward to meeting you. This tragedy is just not right, not for anyone, and especially not for people as deserving as you and Den, Natalie.
I followed a link here as well and wanted to say how incredibly sorry I am.
Natalie, there aren’t the right words to say how sorry I am. I will pray in earnest for Devin, and for both you and Den.
I have no words-just tears. just letting you know you all are in my prayers
Saying prayers. The tears won’t stop rolling down my face. I am so sorry. Words just aren’t enough.
Natalie,
I found out about your sweet Devin though Stickybean’s blog. I am so sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my prayers. I wish that there was more I could do for you.
Rachel
I love you Nat. I’m crying with you.
Natalie, long time lurker here. Just wanted to tell you that I am thinking of you and Den right now, and I am so sorry to hear of your devastating loss. You are all in my prayers.
Oh, Nat. I am just SO sick about this. I can’t stop crying. You and Den and Devin are in my thoughts.
Much Love!
You don’t know me, but I found your blog through a friend’s. My heart is crushed and aching for you right now. I am absolutely speechless… there is so much in life that I do not understand… please know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I am so very sorry.
Natalie,
Another long time lurker here…I can’t believe what I’ve just read. How is this possible? I am soooooo very sorry for your loss. Please try to find comfort knowing that Devin is looking down on you and Den from Heaven. You both are both in my thoughts and prayers.
(((((Hugs)))))
We love you.
We’re here and so desperate to help. Love you so much.
You don’t know me, but, I followed a link. I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. I will certainly have you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
Coming from another blog link.
There are no words that I as a stranger can offer. Just know you all are in my thougths and prayers.
I am also a long time lurker. I just wanted to say How very sorry I am! You are all in my thoughts and prayers. ((HUGS))
No! Oh no … I am so so sorry – I am not sure what is going on and what the outcome is … all I read was Stickybeans log but it’s not very clear.
I don’t even know what to say – it’s so incredibly unfair. I wish I could be with you guys right now but I can’t. I’m thinking of you. Kicking the walls for you. Crying for you. I don’t know what else to do.
I’ve been reading with you guys from the start, all these 36 weeks, and I really can’t believe it’s come to this.
I am so sorry… No words, just hugs…
Nat and Den, I’m so sorry for your loss. I understand what you are going through. If ever you wish to vent, I’ll be here to listen to you. If you need a virtual shoulder to cry on, it’s here for you. Don’t hesitate. Both of you, as well as baby Devin, are in my prayers!
I’m so very sorry for your loss. :(
Natalie – I am so sorry. You guys are in my prayers.
Coming from Serenity’s blog. I am so very sorry for your enormous loss.
Sent from Serenity’s blog – I simply don’t know what to say. I know that nothing we say can help. I am soo, sooo very very sorry!!
XOXO
I am so so sorry for you and your family’s loss.
I am so, so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you and your family.
I’m so sorry. I just don’t know what else to say. There isn’t much that will make you feel better. We are here for you if you need us. This just isn’t fair.
Kym
former “82′ girls ttc”
ohnoohnoohno. i am tremendously sorry. i can’t even fathom. i don’t know you. and i am teary eyed. fvck. i am so so sorry and today, i curse the universe with you.
Coming from Serenity’s blog to offer my most sincere condolences. I’ve occasionally popped in on your blog, but I have no idea what to say right now. My thoughts are with you and your husband and your families at this difficult time. No one should have to go through this. Ever.
Rest in peace, Devin.
*crying*
D
Oh hon. I’m thinking of you and Den.
xx
Natalie and Den I am so sorry for your loss. I am numb. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
I just have no words. I’m very sorry for your loss.
I’m coming from Serenity’s blog. I’m so sorry for your loss.
I’m so, so very sorry for your loss. I know words are scant comfort right now, but know that everyone is thinking of you and sedning positive thoughts your way.
I am so very sorry. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Coming from Serenity’s blog to say that I am sorry to hear of your loss and that many tears are shed for you and your family at this tragic moment. There are no words that suffice. Please know that many people are keeping you and your son in our prayers.
Coming from Serenity’s blog too. Oh honey – I can’t even describe how terribly sorry I am. You, Den and Devin are in my thoughts and you will all be in my prayers. I’m just at a loss. This is just horrendous and so unfair.
Oh, Natalie. No words are adequate. I am so, so sorry.
I’m SO sorry! I am in tears as I type this. You are all in my thoughts. I don’t know what else to say. Sending lots of hugs.
Just delurking to say I am sorry to hear about your lost and its totally unfair.
I came via Serenity.
I’m so sorry for your loss. So very sorry. :(
I am so sorry for your loss with your precious son. May God comfort you during the upcoming days.
Nat, I am so ver sorry for your loss. You and Den are in my prayers.
I am so sorry. I wish there was more to say. Thinking of you all.
I am so sorry. Prayers all over for you!
I’m a very longtime lurker; I wish I could express how sorry I am, but words are so inadequate. There is a song that immediately came to mind — it’s by Nick and Anita Haigh, called “Song for Kim”; it was written for their daughter, miscarried at 13 weeks. I always find that music is the voice of the soul; I wish I could take your pain and give you some peace in this awful time. I am praying for you and Denis.
“But oh, my little one
Though I cannot see your face
Or cradle you within my arms
Or feel your warm embrace
Though I cannot hear your laughter
Or ever dry your tears
I will hold you in my heart my little one
Like the clouds race o’er the heavens
Like the evening shadows fade
Crossed you over the horizon
How I wish you could have stayed
But oh, my little one
Though I cannot see your face
Or cradle you within my arms
Or feel your warm embrace
Though I cannot hear your laughter
Or ever dry your tears
I will hold you in my heart my little one
To the arms of the father
To the love of the son
To the life of the spirit
I commit you, little one
But oh, my little one
Though I cannot see your face
Or cradle you within my arms
Or feel your warm embrace
Though I cannot hear your laughter
Or ever dry your tears
I will hold you in my heart my little oneâ€
Nat & Den,
My heart goes out to the two of you and your families. I am so sorry.
Lots of prayers are being sent your way.
Natalie,
I know there are no words to ease the pain you are feeling. I am shocked and so very sorry to hear about your tragic loss. I cannot begin to fathom the horrible pain you and Den are experiencing. I have been following your journey since your IVF procedure and cannot believe that this is happening.
I am praying for you and your family.
Sorry, I left off the first part of the song:
Like the dew upon the flower
Like the mist upon the sea
Settled you down in my affection
Now you’re just a memory
“But oh, my little one
Though I cannot see your face
Or cradle you within my arms
Or feel your warm embrace
Though I cannot hear your laughter
Or ever dry your tears
I will hold you in my heart my little one
Like the clouds race o’er the heavens
Like the evening shadows fade
Crossed you over the horizon
How I wish you could have stayed
But oh, my little one
Though I cannot see your face
Or cradle you within my arms
Or feel your warm embrace
Though I cannot hear your laughter
Or ever dry your tears
I will hold you in my heart my little one
To the arms of the father
To the love of the son
To the life of the spirit
I commit you, little one
But oh, my little one
Though I cannot see your face
Or cradle you within my arms
Or feel your warm embrace
Though I cannot hear your laughter
Or ever dry your tears
I will hold you in my heart my little oneâ€
Natalie, there are no good words. I’m just so sorry.
You are in our thoughts and our heart. I’m so sorry.
Natalie-
First, let me say how horribly, horribly sorry I am. I lost my daughter at 33 weeks and it will forever be the hardest, most awful thing I have ever had to go through in my life. Please let me know if I can help, if you need to talk. Anything at all. I went through infertility as well. Anytime…
Thinking of you and wishing you peace.
Michelle
natalie, I came over from mel. I am so very sorry for your devastating loss of devin. there are no words. sending your family love and prayers. ~luna
I am so sorry.
Prayers, kind thoughts and sadness abound from my heart to yours.
I heard about your loss through several blogs, and I just wanted to come over and say how sorry I was to hear it. My thoughts arae with you.
I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. Words cannot convey. You are in my prayers.
I heard from LIW… I am so sorry… Please know that I am thinking about your child….
I’m so sorry. So, so sorry.
I’m so sorry. You and your husband will be in my prayers.
I just heard from someone else’s blog and my heart just dropped. I’m so so sorry. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
I am so very sorry.
I’ve been reading you since you first posted about your pregnancy over at Babes in Blogland, and words can’t express how deeply sorry I am for your loss. Your whole family will be in my prayers during this difficult time. I hope you know you are not alone during this.
I’m so very sorry for your loss.
I heard from someone’s blog and wanted to offer the most sincere of condolences. I am so so sorry to hear of your loss…it is a pain I wish noone ever had to feel. You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers.
Here from both Sticky and Stirrup — I am so incredibly sorry for your heartbreaking loss. My deepest sympathy to your family, you are all in my thoughts.
I am coming over from Stirrup – I am so, so sorry. There are just no words. Many prayers are coming to you… Wishing you peace as you begin to mourn.
I am so terribly sorry for this devastating turn of events and wish you the strength to grieve and process this. No one should have to go through this.
Nat… this is Kel’s mom and I just heard the news. Kel and I have been on the phone for hours crying. I am so sorry to hear of Devin’s passing. I don’t even really know what to say because there are no words to express how badly I feel for you and your husband. Just know sweetie that you are loved and not alone. Please take care of each other and if you need anything ,just let all of us who care about you know. We will be there for you. Love, Karen