Oh, poor Kate. She mostly had a good day playing with her best friend (we were babysitting him all day today). The morning was great. She went down for her nap without an issue for Denis. When she woke up, however…. it was land of the melt down.

Part of it may have to do with Den being home after 5 days away. She was really excited to see him this morning, kicking her feet happily as she gave him a big hug and saying, “Daddy! Daddy!” But minutes later she was asking, “Mama? Mama??” Almost like she had gotten so used to me being there 24/7 that she didn’t want me to leave the room. Unfortunately I had to go to class, so she stayed with daddy. He put her down for her nap – like I said, without an issue.

I was in the middle of something when she woke up, so Den went to get her. And maybe that was just overload for her, thinking I was gone or something. Even after I finished my little project and picked her up she continued sobbing inconsolably. She wasn’t clinging to me or anything – I tried cuddling with her on the recliner and she slid off my lap, pulled on my hand, and burst into a fresh round of tears. We gave her motrin and slowly she calmed down. I had to run to the post office before it closed so I took her with me to prevent another meltdown… which didn’t really work, considering that she was having a mini tantrum at the post office because she did not want to stand in line. Yes, today I was that mother standing in line among all the older folk, holding on to my toddler who is pulling, pulling, then sagging to the ground and kicking her feet. And I just smiled (albeit a little forced) and repeated, “It’s okay baby, we just have to stand in line, just a little longer.”

Miraculously about an hour after she woke up (so an hour after she got the motrin) she was suddenly fine. Ate lunch, ran around with her friend, laughed and played and had fun. So… teeth? Woke up on the wrong side of her crib? Just one of those days? No idea.

Then at bedtime she was really tired quite early, but I got her all changed and we gave her kisses and put her in her crib. She talked for a while in there, which is becoming normal for her. Then… crying. I got her out and discovered a massive poop. Well that’s one way to screw up bedtime! Minutes after getting that all fixed she ran down the hall, slipped, and all I heard was THUMP and loud wailing. I found her laying on her back and assumed she’d landed on the back of her head, but she has a large red mark on her forehead so I’m not really sure what she did. Poor thing, though. It’s horrible when they hurt themselves, I scoop her up and rock her and talk to her and wish I could just wrap a bubble around her to take it away.

Thankfully she calmed down fairly quickly, ate a snack (err, dumped a snack on the floor) and we watched Elmo before trying for bedtime again (this time without any issues or delays!). But man… what a day of opposites!

Being sick with a toddler to take care of is just about as much fun as you would think it is. Possibly less. I am lucky that Kate is being so nice and cuddly with me instead of yelling at my inability to do much, but I still really wish I could just spend all day in bed doing nothing but laying there feeling miserable. Instead I lay on the couch feeling miserable and playing Elmo over and over for Kate. (Maybe that’s why she’s being so sweet!) Kate today was alternating playing with toys and sitting curled up with me watching TV while I dozed in and out. She even gave me some kisses on the forehead.

Tuesday afternoon I started feeling some slight stomach pain where I wasn’t sure if I’d walked too much that day or what. It just got worse from there. I was up all night sitting on the toilet and puking into Kate’s potty (well at least it does serve on purpose). I must have picked up a stomach bug… I’ve heard others mention one going around. What is it with me being pregnant and getting stomach bugs? Must be because my stomach is already so damn sensitive and queasy, any little thing sends it into a tailspin.

It’s now thursday evening and my stomach muscles actually hurt. I feel much better, but food is still not settling well so I’m sticking with jello and gatorade and soup. I’m rather starving, and once or twice my stomach tricked me into eating something… bad idea. So I’m taking it easy.

Miracle of miracles Kate is NOT sick, I’m not sure how she didn’t get anything. I’ve been eying Denis suspiciously, wondering if he’s going to get it.

I’m starting to get really excited about having another little one in our house. I watch Kate when she’s around other kids and she just shrieks with joy and runs and laughs. She adores babies. Today she kept touching her cousin on the cheek and patting him – then later running up and down the hall giggling with them. Obviously Ember won’t be playing with Kate for quite a while, but I think she’ll enjoy being a little helper, taking care of a little baby. Kate didn’t even object to me carrying her cousins around for a while today, though she did climb up to share my lap with one of them. There was a time when she would have a major melt down if I held another baby, but it seems she’s chilled out a great deal.

Also I’m excited to see who Ember is, to get to know her. Right now she’s still such an unknown, and every time I think about holding a baby girl I can only picture Kate. So who is this child in my belly? What kind of personality will she have? Will she look a lot like Kate?

And of course I’m starting to get really mushy over the whole baby thing. I’ve been talking with friends a lot about babywearing and sharing newborn pictures and it just has me feeling all sappy. I’m going to get to cuddle a tiny little baby again – and not just someone’s baby, my baby! To nurse her, cosleep with her, listen to her little coos and gurgles and watch as she finds her hands and learns to smile. There are so many good things about the first year!

Weirdly I’m not stressed at all about being ready for a baby. I remember when I was pregnant with Devin and Kate, I felt this enormous pressure to make sure the room was done and the clothes were all counted and laid out and everything had to be just so. This time I feel so relaxed about it. We have all the big stuff – the car seat, the cosleeper, the swing. We have the bins of girl clothes. We have baby blankets galore. I guess I just realized last time how little you really do need for them. Newborns, in a lot of ways, are really easy. I plan on wearing Ember and still taking Kate to playgroups and gymnastics and the mall. It’ll get challenging at times, but I’ll adjust, like I did – and keep doing – with Kate.

I’m working on Kate’s scrapbook a lot right now, trying to get it up to date, and I keep thinking, wow, soon there will be two scrapbooks to do!