Well, I found out the reason for my problems: gas. Lots and lots of gas. And not the kind that comes out the rear, either… the kind that just sits in your intestines until you feel sick to your stomach and makes you puke. I didn’t actually puke today, but I felt damn close and was heaving over the toilet. Burping a lot. I’m starting to feel better, though… but I still can’t sleep, every time I get comfy my stomach starts hurting again. :(
This morning I ate another omelette. It was good, but again I could barely finish it without getting sick. I hate that feeling… right when I’m almost finished the food suddenly repulses me and I have to choke the last bite down.
Now, even though I just ate, my stomach is rumbling and gurgling like crazy. :shock:
I’m such a dork. :) I found a link on someone’s site to this eye color calculator, and started playing with it. But that was boring, just guessing. I asked Den what color his parents’ eyes were and his reply was, “I dunno, brown?” :roll: How can he not know?? I know my dad’s and brothers’ eyes are the same color as mine – a light blue – and my mom’s is a blue-green. But in any case, I have a method of research at my fingertips: wedding photos! I went through them, squinting half the time. Not only did I get his parents’ eye colors, but I got his gram’s and all his siblings.
I successfully got through a family gathering without drinking anything alchoholic. Which was difficult, because the punch had wine in it and the egg nog was spiked with rum. *sighs* I did manage to snag some of the out-of-the-carton egg nog before spiking, so that was good. And no one asked why I wasn’t drinking the spiked drink, which is what I was worried about. Not like I could really explain right now, I’m not technically pregnant. Just extra careful.
Well I’m putting this here, because I’m starting to think this might have something to do with TTC. I mentioned in Starlit that my left-hand thumb has been bothering me. Well it’s the same today as it was yesterday. In addition to that, a few times today my entire left hand has felt funny, and once the weird shiver ran all the way down to my elbow. At one point my right hand started feeling funny. I know I read that carpel tunnel can be brought on by pregnancy, but not until the fourth month – and I don’t even know if this is carpel tunnel. On my to-do list for tomorrow: make appointment with dr. :(
Well, today I was at Target… so I picked up a box of two Target-brand HPTs. And of course, I took one when I got home. It was negative, as I expected. 9dpo really is too early to get a result, but… I couldn’t help it. Meh, maybe I’ll try to relax and just not think about it the next few days. :) I’m starting to think I’m not pregnant anyways… I just don’t feel it. Not that no symptoms means that you’re definitely not pregnant, but… probability and statistics are not on our side. Oh well. I keep thinking that if we don’t get pregnant the first month (or second), well then at least it will give me a chance to chart my cycles and find out more about how my body works, something I’ve wanted to do for years. So it’s not all bad.
But today while I was christmas shopping I was in Toys R Us and had to wander through the baby section and ooohhh so cute! I had to restrain myself from buying a cute bib (“I love daddy!” ) and a really nice “Baby’s First Year” memory book (different stores)… I just wanted to grab them, you know? But alas, I am forcing myself to wait until I actually get a positive pregnancy test to start buying the fun things. Hehe. It’s hard though.
2:00am, so it’s technically Wednesday. Tomorrow I test. I’m nervous. I mean I haven’t been until now, because I knew I’d be getting negatives… but tomorrow could actually tell something. I just don’t want to be upset if it’s a negative.
All possible “symptoms” have disappeared. Tummy is fine. Head is fine. Hand is better… well, mostly. My mood is all fucked up, but that can have many different causes… but I am very crabby and that could be a sign. Maybe. Of course I won’t know until afterwards. One thing I did notice today and yesterday, though, was that I’m having a hard time reading the screen while playing DAoC. Yeah, my font size is turned down pretty small (as Den pointed out), but it’s been that way for two years and I’ve never had problems with it before. I could just have a cold or hell, just be having trouble focussing (concentrating, that is). I dunno.
I really want this test to be positive. I am probably completely out of my mind for feeling that way, but I really do.
I think the hard part is going to be trying NOT to test today. I’m so twitchy, fighting with my inner demons.
I had a spot of pink/red today. :( Sometimes that can be implantation, but I’m 11dpo. It could be late implantation… but it could also be AF coming this way. I don’t know. Normally I don’t get any forewarning that AF is on its way until it hits in full force.
This morning while I was taking my temp I was trying to convince myself it was actually worth wasting a test this morning. I took one, waiting for the result. I just know it’s going to be negative, though. *sigh*
My temp was still down this morning, but not way down. And no AF either. So who knows what’s up. It’s like my body’s in limbo.
Results: white as my ass. (In other words, negative.) So, as of this moment, not pregnant. Course it’s not over until my period shows. Blah.
