I was flipping through our OnDemand selections under Parenting and actually found a bunch of little shows regarding pregnancy and fertility. I was jotting down notes.

• When finding a doctor or midwife who will be looking after you during pregnancy and labor&delivery, three important questions to ask are:

  1) Their episiotomy rate. She said this gives a very good indication as to what kind of training they’ve had and how they approach childbirth. If they have a high epi rate, for instance, they probably weren’t trained in how to properly massage and ease the mother through the birth (so not needing an epi).

  2) Their cesarean rate. This depends also on whether they specialize in high-risk pregnancies or not (midwives usually have lower rates, because they don’t take high-risk pregnancies), but by choosing a doctor with a lower rate you are putting yourself at a lower risk for a c-section.

  3) How is the baby monitored during labor, intermittently, or continuously? Obviously if something comes up and there is a reason to monitor continuously, that’s one thing. But, given the choice, the statistics say that monitoring continuously during a normal labor does not benefit the baby any more than monitoring intermittently, but actually results in a higher rate of c-section (higher risk for the mother).

  All these questions speak to the doctor/midwife’s approach to childbirth. It’s important to feel comfortable with your doctor or midwife, and to feel as secure as possible during labor.

• Most OBGYNs will want to make your first appointment for when you are 8-10 weeks along. That’s when they can start running bloodtests and measuring the fetus to estimate the due date and other things. Before then, when you first find out you’re pregnant, all they can really do is confirm the pregnancy.

• A choice you’ll make for your labor and delivery is where you’ll have it: attended home birth, a birth center, or in a labor&delivery unit in a hospital. First of all it depends on your risk factor, if you’re high-risk you’ll have to be in a hospital – and if something occurs during the delivery you’ll be moved to one. But for a normal pregnancy, the choice depends on where the mother feels safest and most comfortable. She recommended touring your options early and comparing, to decide what’s best for you. I’m pretty sure I’d prefer a birthing center, it’s a nice balance. I’ll have to do research and see if there’s any in the area. (Can you imagine all the fur that would cause problems here at home? Yuck.)

• A recommended infertility book: A Few Good Eggs. I’m going to buy it if we continue having no luck getting pregnant. It addresses all aspects of infertility, was referred to as a “road map” for couples dealing with infertility. Some of the things mentioned in the interview with the author were myths like “I’m young and healthy, it won’t happen to me,” and the fact that your eggs are limited and getting older, so don’t put off TTC too long thinking they’ll be around forever. Also she said, if you’re dealing with IF issues, see an RE – your OBGYN is not properly equipped to deal with it.

• Starting at a healthy weight like I am now you should expect to gain 25-35 lbs during your pregnancy, and it should be a consistent weight gain through the second and third trimesters.

• As far as diet, obviously that’s important. Some food suggestions I jotted down: whole weat pasta, rice and breads; look for low fat yogurts and cheeses; avoid aged, soft cheeses; protein from eggs, lean tenderloin, skinless chicken breast; cooked fish has lots of healthy things in it, but be careful of the big fish like tuna and shark (and no uncooked fish); and for fruit smoothies are great!

I like doing research. It makes me feel more in control and positive.

When I told Den he came in and gave me a big hug and we just sat there for a while. He said he’s going to make an appointment with his doctor to get a Sperm Analysis done. I pointed out that we don’t know if our insurance will cover it, he just said, “It’s important.” He thinks that’s our problem. In a way I’m kind of afraid that the numbers will come back good, because then it means something might be wrong with me. I know it’s foolish, but sometimes I think that it’s because of my depression – that my body doesn’t think I should get pregnant and be a mother.

I was thinking about how we were going to start TTC this month. I never thought when we started in November that I wouldn’t be pregnant already. We started early and are no further ahead than if we hadn’t – except maybe that I have a good idea of what my body’s doing now. I can pinpoint my ovulation based on several signals now: my temp jump, obviously; my cervical fluid is fertile beforehand; my breasts start hurting; and my sleeping patterns get screwed up. And that’s all without any ovulation predictors, which don’t seem to be working for me at all.

I’m just so upset. I’m trying not to cry when AF comes, but every month it gets harder not to. I see other people getting pregnant, I see really cute baby things… and I just want it for myself. I want it to be my turn to start a baby registry and have a growing tummy. I want our little bean.

I so called it. I felt gassy all day, and near the end of the day I just felt that… feeling. That heavy feeling. Sure enough, 10pm and I have a lot of red spotting. AF will be here in the morning.

I feel so heavy and sad. I just sat here in bed for a few minutes, staring at nothing, until Den came in to tell me my mom had called him (I’d not picked up when she’d called me). It’s just like… like I’m playing russian roulette. Every spin you hope, but you know in your heart you’re not going to win the jackpot.

I wasn’t really tired so I got up and started playing WoW and munching on a bag of trail mix. When I got to the end of the bag I felt SICK. I still feel sick, half an hour later. The thought of food is making me gag.

So something is beginning to dawn on me: from AF until O I sleep like a baby during the night. No problems. Set my alarm, take my temp. After I ovulate, however… it’s like pulling teeth, trying to get a full night’s sleep. Or half night’s. Falling asleep is harder, and I toss and turn all night, rousing many times. It makes it rather difficult to get a reliable temp. But, it’s yet another way for me to tell when I’m ovulating.

The other thing I notice is that after ovulating my boobs hurt! Bowling balls. Is this some cruel trick of nature? I think it is.

So my face has been this massive breakout for the past week (my period and for a while before). Ugh. I thought I left this behind in my teens.

My period, by the way, has been doing this weird thing the past few months… lots of spotting, not much heaviness, which drags it out a day or two longer than normal. Bah. Probably because I’m on my ass too much…

Eeee, package in the mail!! How exciting! Jen, thanks for all the cool stuff, that’s awesome!!

My period totally wipes me out. I got it late late friday night. Saturday I was up all day with the party, anxiety and adrenaline keeping me going. My feet were killing me at the end of the day, I propped myself up in bed with my laptop and didn’t move for a few hours. Then, I slept. I slept Saturday night, all Sunday, all Sunday night. Not all at once of course, I’d get up and poke around and check things online, then I’d crash back in bed. I was exhausted. So now it’s Monday morning and I’m still feeling sluggish and tired. This isn’t at all unusual for my period, either. Even without a big party, it always drains me completely.

Den’s pretty sad, but definitely not surprized, that I got my period. He insists we didn’t try hard enough. Now he wants to have sex every day this month to ensure we have the best chance. My eyes bugged out and I started spluttering. There’s no way I can do that. But we’re definitely going to be trying our best this month. After seeing baby Ted at the party I think my ovaries were exploding.

Sheep!

For several nights/days now, I wake up absolutely drenched in sweat. *sigh* This is not a new thing, but I don’t normally deal with it every day for a week. Gross. I was sleeping well, too.

The other annoyance in my life is that my face broke out on saturday. Yuck. My face has been relatively clear for months and months (since before I moved here, really) – I’m sooo happy my skin is finally growing up! Then saturday I had zits pop up all over. Grrrr. Great.