So tonight was our first Bradley class!

I had just spent all day cleaning the bedroom… until Den came home from work, then I sat and rested while he cleaned some. We are pretty darn pleased with the result (it’s not done yet, but it’s definitely a HUGE HUGE improvement over where it was!).

So anyways we were trying to get the last bit of wallscrubbing done before leaving for the class. I looked up the woman’s address (the classes are at her house) and got a map… I did try looking for the little info pamphlet she had sent me earlier, but being that I had opened it on the way to the airport before Christmas break I have NO idea where I stashed it. In the car? In one of my luggage bags? I have no clue. Inside that pamphlet was some written directions to her house. I figured, no biggie, it’s pretty local neighborhood, we have the house address. No worries, right?

Oh hell no. Apparently that entire neighborhood a) does not put house numbers on their goddamn mailboxes, b) does not put house numbers on their goddamn house and c) is really dark so even if there was a number on either we couldn’t see a freaking thing. Once I got out to ask at a house if we had found the right house, but only when I walked UP to the house I saw the house number on the side of the house, and it was the wrong one.

Also adding to the fun is that Den is really feeling sick now, and so he’s kind of headachy and short on temper. So he was pretty pissed – not at me, but just at being lost. I know it’s my fault for not having the directions, but ugh. It got pretty tense for a moment in the car.

Finally, 10 minutes late, I was going to ask at a different house where the hell #7 was… only to discover that the house I was walking up to was indeed #7. So Den and I hustled inside. We hate being late.

The teacher and her husband seem like very nice people. Very soft-spoken, kind, empathic type of people. There was only one other pregnant lady there, with her mom. I had to pee immediately after arriving.

The first hour or so was spent listening to the instructor talk about her two births, then starting to go over the Bradley workbook section on exercise and nutrition. The exercises she went over were quite interesting. Of course the kegel was mentioned. But also squatting (not doing “squats”, but actual squatting, almost sitting back on your haunches, for extended periods), and the “butterfly” which helps strengthen your leg muscles… and a couple others. The “homework” is to do some of each every week… the book gives a guideline, and to my relief it’s something like (3x, once per day). Hey I can handle that. 50 kegels though. Meh.

Nutrition was basically what I’d read before… 80-100 grams of protein a day, and a bunch of other recommendations that’s called the “Brewer’s Diet.” (I believe it’s on the Bradley website if you’re interested. Not too surprizingly, it just lists whole grains, citrus fruits, dark green veggies, protein, dairy, and some other things to eat on a daily basis, and some on a weekly basis. I have a hell of a time with eating a “balanced diet” because I’m so picky. I don’t really like any of the citrus fruits, I prefer the apples and pears and peaches. I really dislike veggies, especially green ones. I try to eat whole grains, but most of the time they taste “wrong” to me – like wheat bread compared to white bread. I’m sorry but there is no comparison, white bread is SO much better tasting to me. Dairy is not something I have a problem with, ever.

So I do have lots to work on this week, along with the cleaning and bill-paying.

So after the talking we watched a short birth video. That was interesting. Now I used to be rather addicted to birth shows like A Baby Story and especially House of Babies…. I stopped watching the former when the couples on the show became far far too irritating to me as I was being diagnosed as infertile, and stopped watching the second because all I was getting was re-runs. One very important distinction between the Bradley video and those TV shows: the TV shows blur out the vagina shots (well, most of them). Bradley video? Zoomed in. And I have to say, I watched it just fine, but all the muscle in my vagina tightened up and I sucked in my breath watching that head slowly come out. That skin was stretched TIGHT. It’s freaking amazing that it can stretch that much.

And plus? The baby’s head as it was coming out? Looked like some sort of squashed baby octopus. It was not pretty. All purple and squished to all hell… it really took me a moment to realize I was looking at a face, and I’m not kidding you. I knew that newborns look a little odd for a little bit, but I’ve never quite seen one THAT new. It wasn’t cute. I sure hope I don’t have the same reaction to my son (I’m sure I won’t, but…). Yikes man.

On the amazing side of things, Den watched the whole video, even the up close and person bits! And he said afterwards, “That wasn’t as bad as I always imagined.” He hastily pointed out to me that it was still pretty bad – water squirting out, a little bloody, a big stretched vagina – but not bad as he pictured. I’m pretty proud of him for that… for watching. I didn’t really think he would, and I wouldn’t have been upset had he chosen to look away. (Though I think a large part of his reason was that there were other people there and he would think he was a sissy if he was the only one averting his eyes. I know how men think!)

After the video we got down on the floor with our blankets and pillows and got into a relaxation pose and did a relaxation technique… tensing one group of muscles at at time, then releasing them and focusing on letting it go completely. This is what we’re supposed to do in late labor, relax our bodies so that our uterus can do its work unimpeded with all of our body’s energy.

So that was the class. 2 hours long. We go back next week for round two!

Did I learn things? Yes, a couple of things. A lot was repeating things that I already knew. I guess I’m just a little worried about the class being worth all the money we paid. This is really important to me and I hope it helps me…. and I really really hate wasting money, especially at a time like this. But I think I’d kick myself more if I hadn’t done the class.

So here’s hoping we learn a ton more as we go along!