Due to the snowstorm yesterday I left early for the appointment – good thing, too, since people were slow driving, despite the roads being clear (ugh). The parking lot, however, wasn’t clear. It appeared several vehicles there had been there through the storm, and the little plows were just starting to scoot around clearing spaces. Which were mostly full. Of cars. So it was a snowy, slushy, car-filled pit, and still no one can park correctly. I don’t know what it was about that parking lot, I think everyone who parks there is a complete and utter MORON. I am going to hit another car there before this kid is out. But I did find an (unplowed) space and parked and got in on time.

I was called in shortly. Took my blood pressure (120/62), weight (yep I’ve gained a lot), urine sample. All fine. She weighed me twice to make sure the number was correct, heh.

I sat and waited briefly for the midwife to arrive. It was, yet again, another new midwife I haven’t seen before. This is getting a little frustrating for me, as I have to re-explain my situation to everyone… the IVF, the depression and anti-depressants. She had barely glanced at my chart before walking in.

She did say, however, that I’m anemic. I pointed out that the midwife last appointment said I was “slightly anemic” and that it was normal for pregnancy. This midwife frowned and said it was normal for later pregnancy, but that I was already anemic when I started out. Which is news to me – no one mentioned that my iron was low early on, the last appointment was the first I’d heard of it. So this midwife suggested iron suppliments and faxed in a prescription for me… I figure it’s no big deal, just another pill. But I am a little concerned that two different midwives see the same lab report and have different reactions.

I still have absolutely no answer on the anti-depressants, btw. When I explained it all she said she “doesn’t see why” it would be fine for pregnancy and bad for breastfeeding. I know there are issues, however. She suggested choosing a pediatrician and getting their take on it. I’m just frustrated that no one can give me some clear answers. It appears the midwives never did any research on it. :( Three visits, three midwives, three “personal opinions” – not enough for me. And now I have to go see a pediatrician about it?? This American system is driving me nuts. (One general doc who normally prescribes the anti-depressants; an ob/midwife who handles me during pregnancy, since the general doc won’t; and now a doctor for the baby, who presumably will handle the issue while I’m breastfeeding!) A friend suggested I consult an LC about breastfeeding and medications, which is a great idea. I’ll have to contact some in this area anyways.

Up on the table to feel my uterus and measure it (first time!). 22cm. She said the cms usually correlate to the number of weeks you are, but for some reason they had me down as 23 weeks instead of (nearly) 24. Oh well. I didn’t bother correcting them, they have my correct due date. She listened for baby’s heartbeat… she didn’t tell me what the rate was, but it was clear and strong. And then he started kicking the doppler. lol

As we were finishing up she asked where I worked. Oh boy. I dread that question, I really do. “Cat sanctuary” just opens up a whole lot of questions. It worked out well though – she was very interested and impressed and was telling everyone in the office what a cool job I had, and one of the other ladies working there asked for the sanctuary’s contact numbers as she’s looking to adopt a cat. But I was having a hard time focussing and giving clear, correct answers… my brain just doesn’t function before 9am. There are times when you really wish you had a boring job, lol.

I guess I’m just feeling let down by the lack of personal connection. My previous midwife knew me. Even when I only came in once a year, she knew me, she knew I was doing IVF, she knew I worked with cats. I really really liked her. If she did deliveries I would be with her in a heartbeat, but it absolutely kills me that I’d see her only for all the visits, then get stuck with someone else for the birth. :( Even my situation now is only slightly better, as I have no idea which of the many midwives will be on-call at the time… but at least they’re all midwives from the same practice. I just want to have one person who I can get to know and connect with, who will be the person there at the birth. Someone I know in trust. And sadly that is becoming very difficult to find. :( Almost all practices function on a rotating basis, and there’s bound to be someone among them that you don’t like or connect with.

I know I’m very short on sleep (another bad night), irritable, and hormonal this morning, but I’m quite upset with the switch in practices right now. I feel like I sacrificed something and I have no idea if it’ll be worth it in the end.