For those of you who have checked my belly pics page, yes I have the 14 week pic up. And if your reaction was :shock: you are not alone. My friends are saying that crazy word – “popped!” I just want to know how my body knew I hit the second trimester, because isn’t the timing a little freaky?

This morning when I got up I, as usual, got up and made a quick run to the bathroom. (I am still managing to sleep all night without waking up to pee, which is quite an accomplishment – accomplished in part by me getting up to pee about 4 times before falling asleep in the first place. But this means in the morning my bladder is all like, “HELLO!”) When I exited the bathroom in all my naked glory, my husband – who had been sitting on the couch watching TV – stared. “Don’t move!!” he instructed and dashed for the camera. So yes, now I have a naked first-thing-in-the-morning pic of myself. No, I am NOT sharing. But it was really interesting to see what my husband sees.

I pulled up an old (like over a year old) photo of my boobs (don’t ask why I have a photo of my boobs), and my jaw nearly dropped open. I know my boobs feel a lot firmer and fill out my bra better, but I was NOT prepared for the difference, not at all. My boobs are HUGE compared to what they were!! It’s not that they “grew”, it’s more like… instead of looking like perky little half-cups, they’re now full cups… they swelled and firmed up. It’s craziness! It’ll be interesting to take another boob picture in a few months and see how much more they’ve changed!

But most of all, that naked-picture-from-the-side shows me my silhouette. The real one, not complicated with sweatpants and bras changing the look of things. And it’s so gorgeous. I’m getting that pregnancy silhouette, and it just makes my eyes tear up. How long I have imagined this, waited for this. I feel so beautiful.

And yeah, I’m sure a big part of that were my expectations. I always had this vision of pregnancy being an amazing, beautiful thing. The puking and minor aches and pains… they’re not something I’d classify as “great.” But the whole package? If that’s what I need to put up with to get all the rest of it, hell yes I’d do it again. I wouldn’t trade this for the world.

My mom didn’t talk about pregnancy often, but when she did she’d always say she felt wonderful the entire time. She managed to avoid pretty much every negative pregnancy side-effect somehow. I’m sure she wasn’t always comfortable, but in looking back she would just say that she never felt better than when she was pregnant, she loved being pregnant. I’m sure that helped shape my expectations. (Now her labor experience, on the other hand, was pretty horrible. I don’t really know what kind of pain meds she got, but she labored for over 24 hours and finally had an emergency c-section where they had to give her general anesthesia and knock her out so she wasn’t even concious when I was born. :( And my dad, well, my dad is pretty much useless in those situations. If he was even allowed in the room, he probably cleared out right away on his own!)

I know I’m in the second trimester, the honeymoon phase – although I’ll kindly point out that my morning sickness has NOT gone away yet – and I know it’s going to get a lot harder as I get closer to my due date, as the baby grows and makes everything more and more uncomfortable inside me. But I’m really hoping that my “view” on childbirth helps me walk into it with a positive viewpoint, much like this pregnancy.

It’s funny, because I hear two very different stories when I talk to friends. Those who have no concept of natural childbirth and walked in with an expectation of lots of pain and waiting an epidural straight away, everything they say about childbirth is very negative. “It was horrible. It was messy, it was painful, and god I loved that epidural. Before I got it I was in so much pain, I was yelling at them to go get the anesthesiologist! You are absolutely crazy for not wanting an epidural! Ask for it straight away!” For them childbirth was something to be avoided, mitigated, medicated, and suffered through.

But then I talk to my many new friends online who have gone through natural childbirth – whether or not they ended up getting medication – and I get a very different picture. “It was amazing.” “My husband was right there helping me through it, he was wonderful.” “Soon as she came out, the pain all went away. The nurses couldn’t believe I was sitting up, talking and laughing.” “At that point I ended up getting the epidural so I could get some sleep, but it was the best thing for me. I lasted that long – you could totally do it.”

I don’t think it’s in any way a reflection of the “strength” of the women involved. I think it entirely has to do with their expectation going into it.

While on the road to Boston yesterday I was reading through the Bradley book, reading some parts to Den, and talking aloud. I think I’ve decided that taking the Bradley course would be best for us. I think it’ll be beneficial to me, and I really think Den will appreciate being highly involved in the process. I know that’s what he wants, and even though he keeps telling me to pick whatever class I want, I know he’ll appreciate it in the long run when he’s given tools to help him help me through my labor. I’m also going to take a breastfeeding class at the hospital. The hospital also has an on-staff LC to help and answer questions after you give birth, and they have a post-partum breastfeeding class as well.

I did admit to Den that a big part of the reason I am looking forward to taking a childbirth class – any one, really – is just because to me it’s part of the big expectation of being pregnant! Yet another way to celebrate. I really can’t wait. (No they’re not starting until at least January!)

I do want to say that I see some pregnant women wishing their pregnancies would hurry up. I surely don’t. I am also telling everyone I see that I expect to go to 42 weeks. My tactic here is to not be disappointed and upset when I hit 40 weeks pregnant with no labor! I do not want to get impatient. I’ll probably be huge and cranky by then, but if I start NOW convincing myself that my full pregnancy will be 42 weeks, well, then I stand a better chance right? ;)

It is a very good day today, yes it is. I woke up to cuddles from my cat and dog, my husband practically glowing over how pregnant I look, I feel good… I am just very very happy.