I’ve been feeling weird… things… all day. In my stomach. And to be perfectly honest, I really don’t know where in my stomach. This morning/last night it felt like ovary pain – leftovary. Now it could actually be my ovary for some reason – maybe it’s getting squashed. It was very light, but it felt suspiciously like the times before that I’ve had obvious ovary discomfort. Then this morning I was laying here and it felt like my uterus was sore, achy. At another point today I felt like I was having very very mild cramps – like from my cervix. Now today I think it’s my actual stomach that is unhappy with me, but things are kind of coming and going.

It’s all very weird. Very very light… I kind of have to stay still to really feel them. But it’s something that makes me stop and go, “Huh…”

Honestly I think I’m just feeling things growing. Things getting a little smushed (ovaries), things expanding (uterus), muscles getting pushed here and there. Nothing that worries me.

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Today I stopped by a local library just to see what they had in their baby/childbirth section. I ended up taking out four books. One of which is called “Mothering the Mother,” is written by two medical doctors and a psychotherapist all about Doulas. It’s very enlightening. I had really hoped it would help Den understand, as it has large sections talking about what Doulas do, and how their goal is to enhance the relationship between the mother and father during the labor experience, not interfere with it – as I gathered was his fear about a doula.

For me… well, you all know I’m a numbers and information girl. Emotional support is all very well and good – and necessary! – but tell me what’s going on. What’s happening with my body. What the nurses are checking. What the numbers mean to me. Heck, tell me what the numbers ARE.

I’m still not 100% sold on this natural childbirth thing. Well, I’m sold on the idea – I’m just not sold on the belief that I can do it! It does scare me, yes – I think it’d be foolish to say it didn’t. I simply have no comprehension of what kind of pain it will be. How can I say I will for sure weather something, when I don’t really know what it is I’ll be going through? I have absolutely nothing to compare it to. I’m not much of a “pain” person. I was the kid who insisted on pulling off her bandaid a millimeter at a time, even if it took half an hour. I have had horrible AF cramps for the past several years, but how the heck am I supposed to know how bad they “really” are? Or how they’ll compare to labor? Labor just seems to be such a different entity. It’s not pain because I’m hurt. It’s not pain because I got my period again. It’s pain to bring about this child into the world. Pain with a purpose. Pain with a definitive end. I guess I can just prepare the best I can and just take comfort with the fact that I am a woman, we are built to do this, it won’t be easy, but I will get through it.

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More pains. Pretty sure these ones are gas. :lol: That, and my stomach is saying “feeeeed meeeee!” It loves pumpkin pie. :)