We’re back from our very-early-morning retrieval. We had to get there at 6:30am, for a 7:30 retrieval. The nurse went through all the paperwork and questions, we joked around for a bit.

I told her about my previous IV horrors. She said she’d check out my veins and if she thought they were going to be hard she’d leave it for the anesthesiologist. So she checked my left hand and I showed her where they did it last time. She decided to use the smallest needle and no lidocaine… it hurt going in, but hot damn she got it on the first try. Thank you! I still hate IVs, and they make me feel like I can’t move my hand at all (when I move my hand I can feel it a little and it creeps me out), but this one was the best I’ve had.

Then it was only quarter to 7 and we ended up just sitting there for over half an hour. Den was barely awake and kept asking me why we came in so early?

The anesthesiologist didn’t show up until 7:25. He introduced himself, took the paperwork from my file that he needed, asked me if I had any problems with anesthesia, checked to make sure I had an IV, then left to get ready.

As the clock ticked past 7:30 with no Dr I started getting panicked and running all these scenarios in my head. What if she didn’t show up? What if she was really late? My retrieval would be totally screwed. Den saw the panic in my eyes and told me to try to relax. (I tried.)

Finally the Doctor showed up at about 7:32. The anesthesiologist came over and put something in my IV. Nothing happened at first. They wheeled me down the hall to the OR and I started feeling a little light-headed… that fun drunk “everything is so cool” feeling. They got me onto the bed/table in the OR, had me lay down just so, put an oxygen mask on my face. I remember all that happening, but it was pretty dream-like. Then I happily succumbed to the anesthesia. (I was looking forward to that all day. For someone who deals with anxiety like I do, being loopy and knocked out is just fabulous.)

I woke up slowly. I didn’t want to wake up. I remember opening my eyes and looking around, then closing them and trying to go back to sleep. I was so comfortable there, so tired, so happy to still be woozy. I heard my husband comment that I was coming out of it a lot slower than last time. (I bet that was mostly because I didn’t want to wake up.) Then Den started whining at me. He was tired and he wanted to go home. Hurry up Nat, wake up. I tried going back to sleep anyways, even though I was feeling more “with it”.

My doctor came in, I think, reassured me that ICSI this time will make a big difference and that the embryologist would be in to let us know how many eggs they got.

The embryologist told us we got 13 eggs. I know both Den and I felt this wave of disappointment. Last time they got 24 eggs. They dropped my dose down slightly to prevent the OHSS I had last time, but I had the same number of follicles this time as last time. I guess they weren’t all useful.

I’m pretty disappointed… and worried. I keep telling myself that ICSI will make a huge difference. But really, how many embryos can we expect from 13 eggs? How many will survive? We might be looking at yet another 3 day transfer and that just makes me so upset. I want a 5-day goddamnit. And we needed a ton of embryos to freeze for backups.

I guess we just hold our breath until tomorrow’s fertilization report. That will really tell us where we stand.

Anyways, after that news the nurse got me crackers and tea, both of which were very good. Den was getting progressively more whiny and impatient and it was starting to irritate me. The nurse helped me into the bathroom so I could pee. I had some red spotting, which she said was completely normal. She then removed the IV and said I could get dressed and go.

The way home I was talking about this and that, mentioned breakfast (I was hungry). Den, already whiny and tired, was getting annoyed with what seemed like every other driver on the road (which isn’t entirely unusual with him). When I asked what he wanted for breakfast he snapped, “I want to SLEEP, Natalie. I just want to go to bed!” So we didn’t stop for breakfast. Now I was irritated. I mean, seriously, I’m the one who just had surgery, and he’s all freaking cranky? I wanted to smack him. and I guess he realized it because when we got home he cooked me breakfast (eggs). Now he’s asleep and I’m heading there myself.

I’m really glad we’re going away for a few days. I just need a break, I need to get away. I want to enjoy myself and not sit around and wonder and worry how everything’s going to turn out. I’m also really glad my parents are arriving on wednesday. That will be a great distraction for the 2ww.

I’m not going to be bringing my laptop with us to Boston. I really do honestly need a break from work and everything. I’m taking my camera, so expect a ton of photos, but unfortunately I’ll have no way of updating everyone on our fertilization and transfer date until we return tuesday evening. I’m going to try to set up a post-by-text message function so I can send a quick text, but I don’t know if it’ll work.