I need to get to bed, but I want to write first.

I am known as a pretty lazy person, in general. It’s well known that I love my sleep. I need I’d say at least 8 hours of sleep a day, and wish I had more. (Not to say I always get 8 hours – some days I function on 3, then sleep for 11 hours the next night. Not real healthy, but life is annoying.) I also tend to get very cranky if interrupted from sleep. Den has given up trying to wake me up and get me out of bed because I can get quite vicious. (Do not EVER pull the covers off me in an attempt to get me out of bed. I will take your head off. I need to be seduced into waking up.)

Because of all this I have a lot of relatives who roll their eyes and shake their head at me wanting to have a baby. I’m pretty sure a lot of them think I’m going to fall to pieces and be a royal screw-up.

But it’s different. I don’t know why people can’t see the difference. Getting up in order to scrub the toilet and finish a couple of projects – not so encouraging. Getting up because your baby needs to be changed and fed, totally different. I embrace that role. I will go on 2 hours of sleep a night if I have to. And I can’t say I’ll love every minute of it, and I’ll probably be cranky and sleep-deprived, but I know I will do what I need to do, and do it lovingly for my baby.

In my lifetime I’ve raised two puppies. My first one was when I was 13 years old. She was 100% my responsibility, she slept in her crate right beside my bed. She was 7 weeks old when I got her. And every single night for many months she woke me up at least once, sometimes twice, to go out. I was a young teenager, I absolutely abhorred mornings (my mom actually took to flicking water on me in order to get my ass out of bed – well, guess I haven’t changed much). But middle of the night when I’d hear my pup cry I would jump out of bed and rush her outside. Even if I was pretty much asleep on my feet. My second pup, Zoe, was older when I got her (4 months) and didn’t have mid-night potty breaks, however at 7am on the dot when she woke up she needed to be outside in less than 30 seconds or she would pee all over the bed. Those were fun mornings, yes indeed.

That’s how I know what kind of mother I will be. I thrive in the role. When you are the caretaker of a small being that depends on you everything changes. That’s what I want so badly. Even if it comes with only 2 hours of sleep a night.