Reversal of Roles
I don’t think I mentioned – my AF was a full 2 days long this month. 2 days. And one day of spotting. Then… gone. I was all expecting to get hit with a second round, but nope, nothing. Ummm, okay.
I have a headache tonight, which is making any type of thinking difficult. And this time I can’t really blame my hormones right? Or maybe I can. Who knows what birth control does.
Den and I talked some more. He’s still really really freaked out about the fact that we have only a 50% chance of getting pregnant. Usually I’m the one freaking out, so I’m not really sure how to handle it except to reassure him that 50% is a GREAT number. He kept saying how he could flip a coin 10 times and get 8 tails.
We have come to an agreement (and shook on it!) that we’ll transfer two 3-day embryos or one blast. For our first IVF… if that fails, then we’ll do two blasts the next time. He apparently thought I meant I only wanted to transfer one no matter what stage they’re at, no matter what, so I think he was a little relieved. Not entirely happy, but relieved.
He also talked a lot about twins and how we’d handle that and what that would mean for us. I’m really a little surprized at how enthusiastic he is about the idea now. Plus he kept saying that if we got two of the same with twins I’ll want to try again – whereas if I go through two pregnancies and get two of the same I’ll probably be less likely to try again. He is VERY stuck on the idea of having a boy. I think he may cry if we get a girl. It’s frustrating me. And it’s not that he doesn’t want a girl – he wants one of each – he just really wants at least one boy and to him a girl first means it’s even more likely he’ll never get a boy. I don’t know, what can I say, it’s thinking from his man-brain.
I’m just not sure how to handle this reversal in roles. I am feeling very optimistic, pretty relaxed, looking forward to starting. He’s the one freaking out that we may never have a child. I like to think it’s because I have a better grasp of the numbers, but I fear the truth may simply be that we’re looking at different sides of the same coin. I just keep reiterating that more than likely we haven’t really had a decent chance with the clomid/IUI, and that IVF totally changes the game for us.
I’m just really looking forward to getting started. I haven’t made the appointment with the doctor yet though, got busy today and forgot. Tomorrow, tomorrow. I was thinking though… our insurance makes us pay a $30 co-pay each doctor visit. So I can pretty much assume that I’ll be paying $30 for every ultrasound throughout the IVF cycle. IUI, one ultrasound, not a big deal. But that’s another $200 or so that I hadn’t counted on.
This headache is making is so difficult to concentrate.
My DH also freaked when I told him the IVF statistics. He was like “that’s all?”. They don’t understand that girls our age are supposed to have just a 20% chance each month doing it the old-fashioned way.
My friend who is 16 weeks pregnant through IVF had two high-grade blasts transferred and only one stuck. She was thrilled with a singleton but was questioning what happened to the other one. If you and DH think you can handle twins, I would just go for the two blasts. Twins usually aren’t too much of a risk to the mother and babies. My aunt delivered both of her girls vaginally and didn’t even need bedrest. Another friend of mine had twins prematurely but she also had an incompetent cervix.
I would consider doing two blasts if you can get away with it. Den sounds like he’d love it! Just my $.02 of course ;)
Oh, and about having a girl – my DH wants a boy so badly so he can pass on his name and have a little mini-him. But you know what? Once they see that beating heart and the baby moving and finally get to meet him or her, they won’t even care about the sex. That is the honest truth.