Well something is still up with Kate, and since her nose has stopped running and her mood has gotten worse I can only assume it’s those canines coming in. Sleep has been hit or miss around here; two nights ago she slept 13 hours straight, then last night she was up and crying at 5am. We took an early “nap” (that I can only describe as a continuation of the sleep we should have been getting anyways) and then her normal afternoon nap, but she just wasn’t right all day. Very whiny, very demanding. She wants to watch Elmo. NO! WHY! I put on Super Why. NO! NO! ELMO! [insert tantrum] I tried engaging her and playing with her but she just kept randomly get frustrated and/or burst into tears. I’d try to give her a hug and she’d push me away. And so went the day.

Yesterday while making dinner I realized I was out of one ingredient so I had to run to the grocery store quickly. Since it was just for a couple things I put Kate in a normal cart like a normal baby. She was whiny but manageable – until she started standing up and trying to climb out. I had her buckled in, and she can still easily stand up. So she cried while I held onto her thighs and grit my teeth and ran for the cash register. She was fine, though. Until… she saw the car cart on the way out the door. She saw them, she pointed and said, “Car! Car!” And then she commenced yelling and crying as I carried her out the door.

Today we went real grocery shopping so I went straight for the car cart. She was very excited, climbed right in! She had fun! … For about 15 minutes. Then she got restless, which means she got pissed at being strapped in, and then somehow she twisted around and got her fingers stuck in the shopping cart bars. When I got her un-stuck and back into the car properly she really started yelling. She was just done. And so was I, by that point!

I know some of it is just the age, she’s clearly been trying to assert her own decisions lately, her own demands. But this? This degree of melty-ness is not normal for my child. I had to get some work done this evening, so I locked myself in the bedroom (with earphones on and music turned up) while Den chased her around the house and played with her. An hour and a half later my very frazzled looking husband opens the door and says he needs a quick 5-minute break, she’s been whining non-stop. Yep. Welcome to my day.

On the good side of things when I came out of the room she looked at me, smiled, and said, “Mama!” Awwwwww. Now that almost makes up for the day. (But I still hope tomorrow is better.)

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I’m starting to think this baby is making me sensitive to dairy. The nausea comes and goes (mostly in the mornings, no surprise there). The heartburn has gone away since I stopped the cereal before bed.

But the other night I was feeling hungry. In the evening – not right before bed, but in the hours preceding – I had a bowl of cereal and then a cup of ice cream. I never eat ice cream, but I just felt like a treat. When I layed down that night I was reading and feeling a little gaggy, but just trying to ignore it. When I turned off the lights and got settled in my blankets I started feeling worse. A lot worse. Like I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to keep that down. I ended up sitting by the toilet for a while, gagging, and then throwing every single bit of ice cream and cereal back up again. It was horrible. I haven’t thrown up a meal like that in quite a long time.

Well, I certainly won’t be eating ice cream again for a while. And definitely not before bed!

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Today Ember had a nice dance party in there while I was trying to get some work done (on my laptop reclined in bed). I lifted up my shirt and saw my belly jumping! She’s getting more active in general, and seems to keep going even when I’m trying to watch or feel her. It’s really weird to think about how big she is now, that soon I’ll be feeling body parts when I feel around. I still so clearly remember feeling Kate’s heel all the time, watching it glide back and forth across my belly.

Pregnancy is still so very fascinating to me. Even though it’s still hard to comprehend. I have a baby growing in me? I look at Kate and think, I made her? She came out of me and was tiny once? Now I have this large independent creature running around and talking to me (or at me). It’s such a bizarre thing. Does anyone really get used to that concept, I wonder?